AT THE WATERS EDGE

[SWITZ]

I can still feel the rope in my hands
that you cut
my children drift away
far out to sea
your voices dissolved by circling gulls
they float
high in the distant azure sky
and after 15 years I stand here
at the waters edge
frozen to their cries.



craig

[ahmed (retired)]

[quote="SWITZ"]I can still feel the rope in my hands that you cut

why they did cuts your hands? in kabul they did cuts stealler hands when he is cautgh. why not you buys some rope so they not cuts of your hands? how can you still feels le rope when they cuts of hands since 15 years? who it was who cuts your hands? let go rope. bless allah. you brothre ahmed.

[Snow (retired)]

'SWITZ', the call-name for craig, wrote:
>I can still feel the rope in my hands that you cut my children drift away
far out to sea


This is impressive, I like it very much - but you could tell us a little more about the background, perhaps? I understand that fifteen years ago somebody used a sharp implement on your children, put their bodies on a raft and pushed it away from the shore. Your reference to a rope suggests that he was eventually captured and sentenced to death by hanging - and perhaps you feel that his execution put blood on your hands. Quite a story, and told in such a clever and intriguing way. We have an encouraging poetry reviewer here called 'Critter2', and after he's taken a look at your work I am sure you are going to enjoy reading his comments - like Zoltan did.

[Ali]

Sorry, call me unknowing about symbolism and critique etc, I took the first lines of the poem to mean the line that moored the boat being cut.

[Snow (retired)]

Ali wrote:
>I took the first lines of the poem to mean the line that moored the boat being cut.

No, that doesn't make sense. Because everybody knows that to fasten a boat correctly and safely one uses two ropes so that they counter-act each other; one tied to the aft and one tied to the stern. Are you saying that Craig had irresponsibly put his family into a boat anchored to land by a single line and then ran and hid when a hooligan came along and cut through the cord with a penknife? No, that doesn't have too much credibility, Ali. In a good poem you have to read in between the lines. Notice how Craig hints that the seagulls become metamorphosed into vultures, circling overhead - obviously using him as a target when dropping their stomach waste on him.

[Ali]

I just read that perhaps a partner in a marriage had cut the ties and cast adrift a relationship with the children , I would like to read the background of the poem too

[mickey_one]

everybody knows that to fasten a coat correctly and safely one uses two popes

can you explain what you meant by this, please.

also are you and Ann coming to Berlin? It would be wonderful to hear your winning entry in the Short Story comp. read aloud at the Event.

Shabbat Shalom

your best friend (except for Ann of course!)

michael

[linda_lakeside]

Switz,

I enjoyed your poem. I think this is the first of yours I've read. Nice read.

Linda.

[SWITZ]

...OH GREAT...! one of the lines should have read:
Their voices dissolved by circling gulls.
Yes Ali...cast adrift is correct.
to everyone thankyou (fx: sound of my face cracking a smile)

Craig