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Okay, here is a cheery thing (not!)

Divine Intervention

As the milk glass moon
Gazed through the lashes of the evergreens
We were in opposite rooms
Licking our wounds
In the dark.

As the candles in heaven
Winked and played with their colors,
We lay bound and gagged
By our pain
Face down.

And as the frozen ashes of our hearts
Poisoned the air,
Even the sun,
could not
Melt any sense
into
What we have become.

Laurie,

Your poem moves me on a very personal level, going back circa 1970. The way the iciness manifest and fragments the atmosphere as well as those within each other's immediacy. I would isolate your most graphic phrases, except I'd be retyping your poem. You did an excellent job of capturing the alienation borne out of pain. I feel WoW'd by each additional reading. It really speaks to me.

~Lizzytysh

Hi Lizzy~You got it in a word, "alienation." USING the moon, the stars and sun made the real pain of this alienation fodder for a poem. One can only hope (even when the subject is quite painful) that what is written is universally understood or felt. Cheers, Laurie

laurie,
very moving.
elazar

thanks elazar. How are you doing by the way? Didn't i read somewhere you had a prob?? Regards, Laurie

THis is a good poem for the troubled. It would bring them comfort to read "We laid bound and gagged by our pain face down." Inspiring.

dear laurie,
have i been hanging my dirty,smelly laundry in the public,again?do you refer to my late-night rantings about walking the thin line,or just in general?whatever may be,i thank you for your concern!i might romantisize the "human factor"now and again,just to make things more complicated for myself.i guess its a habit of mine.

elazar

dear laurie,
after writing the previous post,rather quickly,i had time to think.
i did after all write "emptyness revisited"and wrote about problems
in the venice forum,etc...so i in effect will candidly "pour out my soul"
soon...
elazar

elazar~geez, nevermine me! I thought i had read you were "ill" but i went back and re-read and see it was something done in Jest. fuggedaboudit. sorry for the confusion. cheers, laurie

laurie,
thanks,but it's funny that i took you very seriously and all.whatever may be.i wrote "the tally"just to clear the air.it's deeply personal,and rather crude.
elazar

I am also glad that you are doing fine.

thanks laurie,thanks ves
saluté
elazar

You are welcome!