leonardcohenforum.com

.

Dear Vegard,

I love your exploration into the abyss. Sometimes expressible only through negation and what it is not.....and the strange, incomprehensible nothingness and consuming fears. The last times I have clear recollection of the depth of feelings your words generate were when I divorced [no details necessary]; and prior to the marriage, when I worked on the grounds of a mental hospital [many years ago, when they still existed as such in the U.S.], and surrounded by mental illness, saw so clearly how close that line really is for us, and slipping over it, conceivably, as easy as traversing a stream via slippery rocks and misstepping....just once.

Living in a basement apartment [with a shared bath]; sleeping on a mattress on the floor [the 60s, y'know ]; awakening with spider bites; and hitchhiking 15 miles on an expressway, to and from work in the dead of winter; the circumstances and scenario were rich for contemplation of such outcomes. Daily exposures brought the precipice into sometimes frightening proximity. The imaginings became a bit of an obsession for awhile, as I would arrive at work; be the only one to make coffee, as I was the only one willing to first empty the roaches from the pot; and watch a tall, white-haired, extremely-distinguished-looking, former medical doctor wandering the acrid, antiseptic-over-dirt smelling tunnels, with the other patients, with whom he now resided.

Your poem really brings back some vivid feelings of "what if....." from that time.

~Lizzytysh

Wonderfully dismal. I have found turning such angst into an "object" transforms it into something less immense than what originally thought. One can only hope the art of poetry is a means to a betterment and not a hole to stand in. And this reminds me of a dismal thing i wrote a few years ago, so i'll post it, just cuz. Cheers, Laurie

A truly frightening poem. And Lizzytysh, your expereinces lend meaning to Vegard's poem. Thank you for sharing with us.

Vegard,

"An angle of apathy which cannot be broken"......a very strong line, to which I'm particularly drawn.

~Lizzytysh

And your words: "what if this time, it won't end?" contain such dark and beautiful solemnity.