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Go home
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 7:43 am
by Seedy
Go home
Stand up
Stand up for me
Stand up for me so I can kiss your beautiful lips
Sit down
Sit down for me
Sit down for me so I can sit opposite on your lap
Lie down
Lie down for me
Lie down for me so I can touch you were your blood pumps hard
Make love
Make love to me
Make love to me so I can feel you are so close to me
Wake up
Wake up for me
Wake up for me so I kiss your lips just one more time
Go home
Go home for me
Go home for me so you can tell your wife you have another love
Come back
Come back for me
Come back for me and legally take me one more time
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:10 pm
by Jo
Seedy - this speaks to me of pirates and preachermen, of sailors and gypsies and syrup...and of being shown slowly what we only know the limits of.
In my humble opinion you can give up your day job and start publishing your poetry.
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:12 pm
by Seedy
Thank you dear Jo, but what should I live from and what would pay the rent
hugs from heaven and Seedy
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:18 pm
by linda_lakeside
I liked this very much, as well. Sorry, but as far as crits go, that's about the best I can do.
Linda.
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:21 pm
by Seedy
Thank you Linda, but it's all LaurieAK's fault - she made me do this
hugs from Seedy
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:21 pm
by LaurieAK
seedy~
this explains a 'secret,' but then I am lost as to what your last line means.
Where does "legally" fit into the context of this poem?
thanks,
Laurie
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:25 pm
by linda_lakeside
Maybe she wants him to go home, tell his wife, divorce, come back and marry to 'legally' take her?
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:26 pm
by Seedy
hi Laurie
Legally means that he has made it clear with his wife and there is no sneaking around anymore. Maybe it's because english is not my native language and I would be happy to have you to place a better expression here. Thank you for commenting anyway
hugs from Seedy alias Cia
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:30 pm
by Seedy
Linda, not marry - just clean cut, but elsewise you got it right.
hugs from Seedy Cia
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:34 pm
by LaurieAK
Hi Cia~
well, now i'm not sure that the excitement of having an illicit affair would benefit from a "legal" adjustment in the context of this poem.
Do you, umm i mean does the narrator REALLY want to have to wash this guy's underwear, do his dishes, and clean up his mess in the bathroom on a daily basis? Doesn't the aspect of having just the good stuff and not the bad make this poem what it is?
Besides, the narrator already knows the guy is willing to cheat on 'his wife.'
Maybe i am reading too much into this
regards,
Laurie
p.s. it is a nice poem!!! despite my misgivings
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:42 pm
by Cia
Hi Laurie
Maybe your reply crossed my answer to Linda, I just said "not marry"- so no washing socks etc.
And I do get your point; the secret is out and is no secret anymore.
Thanks for committing, nice to get feedback - really I am not used to this and only got lost in a competion - Seedy is back in heaven or hell and I was the undertaker - so that's it and I will remain Cia for some time again.
hugs from me to you
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:43 pm
by linda_lakeside
You have a point there, Laurie. 'Legally' does seem to mean (not imply) the washing of, the cleaning of, the taking care of, the forgiving of, the listening to....
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:46 pm
by Cia
He he Linda, and your's crossed my reply to Laurie
hugs again Cia
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:48 pm
by LaurieAK
Cia~
As you can see, we all seem to have our priorities straight.
No sock washing!!
L

Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:50 pm
by Cia
Laurie; Been there, done it!
hugs Cia