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Poem No. 5
Posted: Tue May 10, 2005 10:01 pm
by Critic2
No Gain
She hides her demur
evades every question
constructs her collusion
reforms her direction
engages no mercy
tirades the high stance
pleads her compassion
accepts no last chance
she counters displeasure with
satin and stain
invoking insistence
overtly no pain
no secrets, no passion, (no gain)
________________________________
quite good but calls for a bit more substance
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 12:50 am
by LaurieAK
This has an excellent cadence and the rhymes are welcome. It paints an interesting picture of the subject. I do wish a bit more had been disclosed.
Nice piece!
regards,
Laurie
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 3:25 am
by linda_lakeside
I agree, much more should have been disclosed. But the colour, the composition...I only wish that more had been disclosed because I'm interested in things that don't concern me. Otherwise, I think this has a nice ambiance.
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 3:38 am
by linda_lakeside
On second thought, I really
like this one quite a lot.
No I can't go into a lot of detail as to
why. I just do. It's instincutal, I tell you.
Linda.
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 4:02 am
by linda_lakeside
I guess it doesn't help that I have Master Poems on in the background, but I do like this for whatever reason. Sorry, but that's the best I can do. I can't explore it further. I just like it. That's all.
Linda.
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:25 pm
by Pete
this poem has been tampered with... something has gone missing from the original version
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:30 pm
by lizzytysh
What!?! So, make the correction! It's only the second one I've read so far. Disturbing news on the omission. Paula
? Judgy-thingy
? Great last line, too
.
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 9:36 pm
by Paula
No Gain
She hides her demur
evades every question
constructs her collusion
reforms her direction
engages no mercy
tirades the high stance
pleads her compassion
accepts no last chance
she counters displeasure with
satin and stain
invoking insistence
overtly no pain
no secrets, no passion, (no gain)
Pete this is what I got. I know I said how hard can it be but has there been a cock-up
What has gone missing
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:53 pm
by Pete
She hide
s her demur
evades
every question
constructs her
collusion
reforms her di
rection
engages no m
ercy
tirades the high s
tance
pleads her com
passion
accepts no last ch
ance
she counters di
spleasure with
satin and
stain
invoking
insistence
overtly n
o pain
no secrets, no passion, (no gai
n)
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 10:55 pm
by LaurieAK
Pete~!
So clever! Went over all our heads! Good one.
regards,
Laurie
Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 11:02 pm
by Cia
Clever Pete, you will always be our Secret passion - even thou it might be Liz that stands behind you
So
Elegantly
Corrected
Rightly
Even
Thou
Petes
Anonymous
Secret
Seemed
Illuminated
Of
Narrator
hugs Cia
Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 3:31 pm
by Paula
Well I don't think that was my mistake Pete I think the italics must have disintergrated by the time it got to my PM box. I have checked and they weren't there. I mean how hard can it be
Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 7:04 pm
by Pete
I'll let you off this time Paula
You did a wonderful job and I try to make it more complex by using italics..one day we will laugh about this over a mushy pea fritter and a glass of wine.
Pete
Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 8:50 pm
by linda_lakeside
Paula,
I don't think it was your fault. I've copied italics from pms, then by the time they were copied into the message I was sending Joe, everything was in the board's font. There was one italicized, which became un-italicized. The italics could have been lost in the copying process.
That's my theory, at least.
Linda.
Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 8:56 pm
by LaurieAK
My theory?
Aliens on the grassy knoll caused this problem. I think maybe Woodward and Bernstein might have have a part in it too.
Oliver Stone is on the case....
L