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@7thJune1967: 24 years ago you dedicated that I would 'get' the girl. It is only today I thoroughly believe you. I am so very happy. I thank you Mr Cohen.

Did you and she get back together at last, Adam?

Nope

No one knows, no one, not even Leonard Cohen how so lonely I have been for the Womyn since I left Australia for Israel on the 26th of November 1992. But she is alive right here on Earth and finally I am now free to find her - and she is not Jackie. Maybe I haven't met her, maybe I have. Ah the joy of Spring in Kookaburra 13,700,000,030 (Australia 2016).

I stayed with family friends for a week in Haifa and then went to a kibbutz in the Galilee called Gadot. Two days before I left Australia, Leonard Cohen released 'The Future'. Some kibbutznik ladies asked me if I knew of Leonard. I said I thought he was dead. They had a copy of his new album and taped a cassette for me. I was surprised, but mainly I was missing Jackie and our dog and cat and house. On New Year's Day 1993 I listened to The Future for the first time on my old secondhand Walkman. The whole thing got me, but mostly Democracy. The album cut into me, it was, and still is, profound. For personal reasons I had to get out of Israel - I didn't even get to Jerusalem. In transit to London, I started listening more closely to Miracle, and about the last stanza in The Future about 'destroying another foetus now...'. Three months later in Kingston, London I was still listening. Like many works of art, this one seemed to 'fit' me like a glove. For all intents and purposes the abortion, the girl in Miracle and Light As The Breeze was Jackie. I had to get her back. In Europe, I never bought a Future CD, didn't need to, I had the tape. I missed Jackie anyway, but It was Cohen who lodged in my soul that I had to have her. For 23 and a half years, from 27/11/92 until at about 9:16pm on a cold Melbourne night on the 7th of June this year (incidentally 49 years to the day I was conceived and 49 years to the day Israel won back the Temple Mount), I believed I had to 'have' Jackie at any and all costs. Two intervention orders from her, even an engagement and mortgage with a beautiful lady, Diana, could not dissuade me. It was f-cking hell. In the 23 years she married, had kids, got on with her life. I wallowed and stagnated in some insane quest to win her. I don't want her today - am not really too sure if I ever really loved her - but am just angry at what Leonard, at what G-d led me to believe. It feels like I wasted so much time lying on my bed pining for a ghost. Year after year it went on, my life a damn quagmire. If you wonder why this persecution, the answer is; I told Cohen to do it in June, and last week. I know you scoff and don't believe me; but I am happy with this. I really am. Perversely, I 'had' to suffer. But now, I am so sure, I do not love Jackie. I am free, finally.

Strangely enough I did eventually buy 'The Future' on CD sometime in 1994. I was moved by two things, both on the CD booklet, not the actual music. The first was the acknowledgement at the conclusion. This held prominence for many, many years for me. But it is the dedication that has recently meant so much more. It is here Isaac wins his Rebecca, here she brings him and his camels water. The point for me is that before Isaac 'had done speaking in (his) heart, behold, Rebecca came forth with her pitcher on her shoulder; and she went down unto the well, and drew water; and (he) said unto her, Let me drink, I pray thee. And she made haste, and let down her pitcher from her shoulder; and said, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: so (he) drank, and she made the camels drink also' - Genesis 24.

Rebecca and Isaac had never met. When he was ready, she, a stranger, came.

She is gone, forever.

Thanks for the thorough updates of your life. I'm glad to know you've let Jackie go. I know that pain and release.

Hi Lizzy. Hope you are well and enjoying your Saturday night. If you can, please tell me about your 'pain and release'. It may help both of us and any readers. Take the plunge, I value you, Lizzy. It is just that I WAS insane for 23 and a half years chasing her and while now I write I am free; there is a vacuum and much regret, even anger. Please, tell me your story - what can it hurt? Tell me of your 'pain and release'. I love you, Lizzy.

Ever felt like you were centre stage, the main act but you didn't really want to be, you just wanted to get on with your science experiment, your English essay, your life? You had no choice, you were the leading man or woman, even boy or girl. And there was no special or particular reason. I mean why did Leonard Cohen catapult to fame, why did he 'make it'? There is arbitrariness in all this; like G-d chooses willy nilly. Or does He? Is there order here? I'll be frank, I'll cut to the chase - is a messiah coming or is he fiction? And who may he be - Jew or Christian or both or neither? If he exists he must be centre stage. If he exists, whoever he is, I wish him well and that he discovers much help on the way. To usher in an Eternal peace based in love and truth in this very sick world, he will surely need it. I wonder if he's aware of, or if he ever takes comfort in, Leonard Cohen. Now, that'd be a blast ; ).

In peace,
Adam

G-d is handing us the Universe, but we do not see it.

Laying on my brother Jez's bed, around 9pm with I-tunes blaring through the speakers of my I-pad. 'How Do I Live?' on, female singer. She is delicious. And I just know my lady and I do in fact meet; that we marry. Hopefully at the end of some ramshackle pier. I would like the mums to take the service. And I will thank G-d in a most inimitable way. And after the ceremony is over, when it is just the two of us naked in some old motel room, I will look to my bride, take her hands and thank her. And then ever so softly, kiss her.