leonardcohenforum.com

Memo:

Yes,
you've done a fine job.
But you are wicked and
we're all out of laurels and
there's more work to be done and
no one is better suited than you
to do it.

So,
keep your dick hard and
your pen moving and
when your work's done and
it's time for a rest
you will be notified
by the proper authorities.

I love
this poem,
ragsandbones.

imaginary friend wrote:I love
this poem,
ragsandbones.

Many thanks, I.F.

ragsandbones wrote:Memo:

Yes,
you've done a fine job.
But you are wicked and
we're all out of laurels and
there's more work to be done and
no one is better suited than you
to do it.

So,
keep your dick hard and
your pen moving and
when your work's done and
it's time for a rest
you will be notified
by the proper authorities.

I'm quite liking this writing too, R&B. What's tripped me up is some punctuation stuff, so I hope you don't mind my few minor corrections, so I can read it unencumbered.

I'm quite liking this writing too, R&B. What's tripped me up is some punctuation stuff, so I hope you don't mind my few minor corrections, so I can read it unencumbered.[/quote]

I'm glad you like it Violet. It seems to me that punctuation, like the writer's enjambment choices, affects not only the pace, but the possible meanings of the poem. I'm the last to insist that a reader take from my writing what I thought I put into it. Feel free to punctuate at will and, hopefully, other possible meanings may emerge.

R&B

Violet wrote:
oh, I'm not talking about changing the poem, its pace, etc.. Just 'your' instead of 'you're'.. 'it's' instead of 'its'.. stuff like that.

for example: I believe you mean: 'your' pen. Not 'you're' pen.

anyway, I'd not bothered if I didn't like what you wrote.. so

(I'm not too sure what else to say)

good poem.

Oops. I had no idea I'd flubbed the punctuation so badly! Thanks for noticing!

".. you know, I'm not even the resident grammar nazi here. She drops in from time to time. (just to warn you)"

I discovered that I could edit the post, so I made the corrections you suggested. Thanks again! Glad to have found this community and look forward to sharing more here.