leonardcohenforum.com

Been stumbling around on the interwebs for lack of anything better to do and came across you lovely people. This seems like an appropriate place to share a poem with no title other than "For Leonard Cohen." I'd sincerely appreciate honest commentary and/or professional trolling, it anyone's feeling up to the task.

You are not tender
You are not subtle
You do not apologize
with soft, yielding lips
or gentle words of wistfulness
You do not embrace love,
sing it lullabies in its sweet infancy,
feed its fragility with care-worn palms.
You are nothing we have been taught to admire
have no carefully planned, deliberate airs to your genius.

For that
I feast at your altar
Tip your bitter, aged wine down my youthful throat.

But here, strangest of strangers,
absent muse,
Is the crux of the whole of everything:

I am a fake too
And


You are my story

Welcome justanothericarus - great name.
The professional 'trolls' here are both clever and entertaining (sometimes educational, which doesn't seem very trollish but I don't think they're good rule followers) so I’ll go quickly so that I get to comment before them.

You are not tender
You are not subtle
You do not apologize
with soft, yielding lips
or gentle words ...

I really like list poems. There's often a chant like quality to them and yours begins with that sensation. I like it very much and enjoyed your homage. I'm not great at hearing metre but it seems that, even as you transition from a more formal list styling, that the rhythm of the words remains constant.

all the best,
cate

Hi justanothericarus ~

Welcome to the Forum first . It's good to have you here. You've entered into a great place for worthwhile people, exchanges, and eventual real-life friendships, if it be your choice .

I enjoyed your homage to Leonard and the uniqueness of your expression of how, for all you feel he is not, he is your story. His deep, personal impact on people is indisputable and if the camps were to be organized, it seems they would go "you either get him and are deeply impacted" or "you don't get him, which may mean you haven't listened well enough... yet" ~ loose divisions and generalities, but themes I've seen over and over and over again, in my own life, lives of others, and those who show up here.

Now, what I can offer is correction of typos:
put a comma between fake and too

Woo-hoo... there you go! And on your poem itself, I can say what I really like [not the same as a critique, I know]... these lines and images, in particular [though your poem as a whole, as well]:

with soft, yielding lips
or gentle words of wistfulness

sing it lullabies in its sweet infancy,
feed its fragility with care-worn palms.

You are nothing we have been taught to admire
have no carefully planned, deliberate airs to your genius.

Tip your bitter, aged wine down my youthful throat.

But here, strangest of strangers,
absent muse,

with a lungful of the air you breathe]

You are my story


I like your poem. There may be others who will come along and rearrange it for you in what they feel is a better way, but hey, at least two have weighed in [one who writes wonderful poetry, one who writes no poetry at all] with you.

Thanks for sharing it with us.


~ Lizzy

Many thanks to you both This is the first opportunity I've had to share it with anyone that has a clue who Cohen is, so it's nice to know it doesn't ring hollow.

Cate, I noticed that as I looked around- that rather than the typical spam there was some great stuff. Hence the request. I'm rather impressed, actually. Trolling (as that's still the only word I can come up with for it) with intellect isn't something I've seen too often before.

I'm glad to have found this corner of the web. Thanks again for the comments, I appreciate them.