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(playing with repetition)


David

David in white [no backtrack – too vague]
David in a white box. Flowers,
a skeletal woman dressed in morning
pink. It’s a clear day. David small. David with
a broken head. David in a box. [oh I said that]
David in a pink shirt and blue tie; the skeletal woman
can’t stand – smiles with only her teeth. David small
but not afraid of rolling stones. It is clear day,
the sun falls warmly on the woman in pink
who is saying goodbye to David.
David in white.

Cate wrote:(playing with repetition)


David

David in white [no backtrack – to vague]
David in a white box. Flowers,
a skeletal woman dressed in morning
pink. It’s a clear day. David small. David with
a broken head. David in a box [oh I said that]
David in a pink shirt and blue tie; the skeletal woman
can’t stand – smiles with only her teeth. David small
but not afraid of rolling stones. It is clear day,
the sun falls warmly on the woman in pink
who is saying goodbye to David.
David in white.

Lovely, well done. Clean up the typos please but a very nice piece of work otherwise

Very interesting poem.

Thank you Fish!

Thanks for reading Hophead.