A Letter To My Son
Posted: Tue Dec 13, 2011 2:39 am
A recent event caused me to pen this open letter to my son, which I'd like to share with you. As the preciseness of Mr. Cohen's height becomes known I'll adjust that factoid as needed.
Dear Son,
When I think about the problems I’ve had in my life, my height has turned out to be among the least.
Every kid wants to be tall, but my father was 5’8”, my mother is 5’, and both were from short families. I wasn’t athletic so professional basketball wasn’t in the cards no matter what I did.
Yes, there are going to be many, many people who are taller than you are. Your height is going to make it a little more difficult to find a partner, especially when you’re young; young girls like tall boys. This bias fades over time, but there are higher obstacles to relationships, like getting along with someone for the rest of your life.
If you want to marry, I hope you’ll find someone as wonderful as your mom. Face it; you won’t do better than I did. Every once in a while you might see a tall guy with a short girl and perhaps, like I used to, you’ll wonder why he couldn’t find someone closer to his own size and leave the cute short one for someone her own size. You’ll learn that if two people are right for each other than she wasn’t right for you.
I know they say that tall people do better in life. I think that the quality of one’s character, education, morals, and physical and mental health are all much more important than height. I do my best, albeit flawed human best, to set the kind of example I want you to follow. I also do my best, albeit middle class best, to make a great and special life for you.
That’s where Tae Kwon-Do with its ever-escalating membership, tournament, weapon, private lesson and test fees comes in. That’s where extra-curricular musical events with travel to other cities comes in. That’s where orthodontics and the not-covered-so-much–by-dental-insurance comes in. I pay for those things and feel lucky that I can.
I apologize that I was in a bad mood last week. I allowed myself to feel down because I don’t have tens of thousands of dollars to pay for specialists and prescriptions and uninsured medical expenses to tweak a couple more inches out of your body like your doctor said might be possible. In this age of defined contributions vs. defined benefits, I’m trying to give you the gift of providing for your mother and me in our old age so you don’t have to. In this age of matching funds vs. grants, I’m hoping to pay for your college education. In this age of rising costs and copays, your family genetics will likely prevail over modern science.
Perhaps one day you’ll look back like I do and see that lots of successful people were short, including some of my musical heroes. Ok, so Neil Young is 6’, but Leonard Cohen is about 5’5”, and Paul Westerberg is 5’7”. Let me tell you, no amount of money or height can make someone as talented as Leonard Cohen or Paul Westerberg! Do I really need to mention that my favorite guitarist, Nils Lofgren, is 5’3”?
But seriously, I’m 5’7”. I grew to 5’7” when I was 15 and then my body was done growing. I don’t know how tall you’ll turn out to be when you’re done. However tall you’ll be, you’ll learn to deal with it. Life is tough enough and you’ll be judged by more important things. You are wonderful, and you will be wonderful, and I wish you the most wonderful life that I can give you.
Love,
Dad
Dear Son,
When I think about the problems I’ve had in my life, my height has turned out to be among the least.
Every kid wants to be tall, but my father was 5’8”, my mother is 5’, and both were from short families. I wasn’t athletic so professional basketball wasn’t in the cards no matter what I did.
Yes, there are going to be many, many people who are taller than you are. Your height is going to make it a little more difficult to find a partner, especially when you’re young; young girls like tall boys. This bias fades over time, but there are higher obstacles to relationships, like getting along with someone for the rest of your life.
If you want to marry, I hope you’ll find someone as wonderful as your mom. Face it; you won’t do better than I did. Every once in a while you might see a tall guy with a short girl and perhaps, like I used to, you’ll wonder why he couldn’t find someone closer to his own size and leave the cute short one for someone her own size. You’ll learn that if two people are right for each other than she wasn’t right for you.
I know they say that tall people do better in life. I think that the quality of one’s character, education, morals, and physical and mental health are all much more important than height. I do my best, albeit flawed human best, to set the kind of example I want you to follow. I also do my best, albeit middle class best, to make a great and special life for you.
That’s where Tae Kwon-Do with its ever-escalating membership, tournament, weapon, private lesson and test fees comes in. That’s where extra-curricular musical events with travel to other cities comes in. That’s where orthodontics and the not-covered-so-much–by-dental-insurance comes in. I pay for those things and feel lucky that I can.
I apologize that I was in a bad mood last week. I allowed myself to feel down because I don’t have tens of thousands of dollars to pay for specialists and prescriptions and uninsured medical expenses to tweak a couple more inches out of your body like your doctor said might be possible. In this age of defined contributions vs. defined benefits, I’m trying to give you the gift of providing for your mother and me in our old age so you don’t have to. In this age of matching funds vs. grants, I’m hoping to pay for your college education. In this age of rising costs and copays, your family genetics will likely prevail over modern science.
Perhaps one day you’ll look back like I do and see that lots of successful people were short, including some of my musical heroes. Ok, so Neil Young is 6’, but Leonard Cohen is about 5’5”, and Paul Westerberg is 5’7”. Let me tell you, no amount of money or height can make someone as talented as Leonard Cohen or Paul Westerberg! Do I really need to mention that my favorite guitarist, Nils Lofgren, is 5’3”?
But seriously, I’m 5’7”. I grew to 5’7” when I was 15 and then my body was done growing. I don’t know how tall you’ll turn out to be when you’re done. However tall you’ll be, you’ll learn to deal with it. Life is tough enough and you’ll be judged by more important things. You are wonderful, and you will be wonderful, and I wish you the most wonderful life that I can give you.
Love,
Dad