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To an angry God
Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 6:15 pm
by Else Vidbjerg
Even though my anger
is often very deep
it takes a kiss to soften me
a hug to make me weep
Even though some heartache
can drive a hand to kill
I shall be ever searching
a love thats living still
Even though Im trembling
in search of holy will
I shall be ever drinking
the cup I shall not spill
Even when you hate me
and strieve towards my soul
my love and heart will touch you
and try to make you whole
Posted: Tue Oct 19, 2004 11:11 pm
by Critic2
Even though my anger
is often very deep
it takes a kiss to soften me
a hug to make me weep
Even though some heartache
can drive a hand to kill
I shall be ever searching
a love thats living still
Even though Im trembling
in search of holy will
I shall be ever drinking
the cup I shall not spill
Even when you hate me
and strieve towards my soul
my love and heart will touch you
and try to make you whole
______________________________________________
Even though you're writing
in search of easy rhyme
you will be ever welcome
to come and pass the time
This is not a place
for a poet to stop and really write
this is a place for cliche
the simple and the trite
Even if you hate me
and strive to fry my sole
my love and heart will wave goodbye
as you fall down a hole
_______________________________________________
welcome, this is a very fine place where lovely people come to chat, none of them can write poetry beyond a beginners' level but they all know and accept that and *still* have fun. Welcome again!
I hope your verse does not reflect where you personally are.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:45 am
by rick
critic2
how educated you must be!
do we know your credentials
or are they kept secret
stashed away behind your
keyboard courage
surely you are not using some
ONLINE PUBLISHED POEM
to stand on... are you?
you don your
keyboard crown
and stand so tall
and godly
above those who would
dare to express
well, thank you
THANK YOU!
for doing your duty
you faker of truth
and pretender of beauty
your vision is right
all others wrong
we're sorry for smearing
this site with our poems
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:46 am
by jpx
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:48 am
by jpx
This is not a place
for a poet to stop and really write <--
this is a place for cliche
the simple and the trite
p.s. : isn't there a clunk in your meter?
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 1:51 am
by jpx
jpx wrote:p.s. : isn't there a clunk in your meter?
p.p.s :

Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 2:32 am
by Makera
Hi Else ~
As you can see, Critic2 gave you a very accurate description of himself, as rick and jpx have affirmed for you.
He even provided a typical example of his poetic talent.
See one C2
You've seen 'em all:
They have no talent
But loads of gall!
Anyway, who is the "angry God" you refer to in your poem title, Else?
I took it to mean the self-created and/or man-made, as the only "angry" one I know of.
Love & Light,
~ Makera
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 5:59 pm
by Critic2
"may we develop a wary and uneasy interaction. welcome to the dance, sir...." you once nicely said.
I recall you as being far less defensive following comment on your writing than Makeera/Martine which I took as an indication of you having a degree of confidence in your own which which she/they lack (for rather obvious reasons).
ps as for the "clunk in the meter" this was hardly me writing as me.
In a thread when Young Doctor Freud exposed me as Avalon I had written in 5 minutes this tribute to a number of my friends here
George picked his nose,
asked to select his best feature
George picked his nose
When writing poetry
some scratched their head
George barely scratched the surface
The bear suggested a competition
“we write a poem
without cliché “
“ouch” said George
and chickened out.
But the bear was still in
and he approached Makera
Queen of Importance
“Makera, Queen of Importance”
he whispered,
“have you found Mr Wright yet”
or are you still looking,
the Heavens screamed at this impertinence
the Queen cast an aspersion
it landed in the pot
where something was cooking.
Was it the Bear
the Chicken
Mr Wright
or Makera
Queen of Importance?
Soon afterwards George acted with grace and maturity and invited a friendly end to this tiny spat. But it may be different for Makera/Martine who seem to respond to all my posts as if they are a written version of adrenalin, or amphetamine sulphate.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 6:58 pm
by rick
personally, since you have deigned yourself judge and jury on all things written, i'd like to know your qualifications.
one would think you would be very proud considering how highly you think of yourself.
no one here is putting on airs, no one claims to be the next great poet. no one but you that is. and all we have to go on is your word. tsk tsk. that simply won't do.
post your resume pal. show some cojones.
of course, i'm betting that won't happen. you keyboard cowboys are all alike. you hide behind your anonymity, safe in your own world, as strong and powerful and almighty as only you can imagine.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 7:15 pm
by Critic2
the anonymity point is well-worn. Your post would be just as dull whether your name really is rick, or not.
the standard of poetry here is low but I agree that no-one has pretensions to being the "next great poet" so it may matter little.
I like your phrase "keyboard cowboy". Do you want to set a challenge for a poem based around that ?
The only condition, if I may suggest it, is that the contest should be here not on allpoetry where people go "WOW" if a forced rhyme is achieved 2 verses in a row.
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 7:24 pm
by jpx
hmm....
this forum needs some counter-trolling. so let there be two sharks in the water, now ...rather one shark and one kitten with teeth.
: )
ps : you take a lot of cheap shots, troll.... i give you a C+. it would have been a B- if not for that last bit about "dull." cheap! you can do better.
HA! the irony. a C-rate troll making a name for himself criticising B-rate poetry....

see ya around, critic ...
Posted: Wed Oct 20, 2004 7:31 pm
by rick
blah blah blah.
POST YOUR RESUME!
or crawl back into that little world of make believe you've created for yourself.