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sotto la stella
Posted: Mon Oct 04, 2004 7:57 pm
by LaurieAK
with apologies to ee cummings for lamely borrowing from his style.......
Sotto la Stella
i dream us
sleeping bag close
and full moon romantic.
Sipping silky kisses
till we're puddles of
Warm Applesauce....
And........
OH!!!!......
our chandelier sparkling sighs
light small fires
in a coupling of places
Where genies in a bottle
are yearning to
come out.....and.....
i dream us
happy ever,
after all.
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 5:55 am
by lizzytysh
Sensuous, sensual, and lovely, Laurie. Clever last, two lines. Very clear images throughout.
"Sipping silky kisses
till we're puddles of
Warm Applesauce...."
WoW ~ these just blow me away [hurricane style
] ~ how did you
ever comes up with those three lines? Hugely wonderful, they are. Experiencing them viscerally, as I read and reread.
~ Lizzy
Posted: Tue Oct 05, 2004 4:52 pm
by jemima
yeah, i love the way that you move between the images.reminds me of plaths style..though obviously without all the death ect(btw,i love her stuff
)
its good to read a poem that is sensual and romantic,yet steers well clear of the cheese and re-runs of every other "love"poem.
well done
jemima
Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2004 12:33 am
by LaurieAK
Lizzy~
Juicy stuff, eh? hehe.
You always seem to pick up on the stuff that i like the most in my poems.
I have always thought of those 3 lines as literally "juicy" with alliteration and warm as cinnamon in their insinuation. Whenever something seems that good to me (in retrospect) falls to the paper, i consider it a gift...not a talent. So should you
Glad you like.
Jemima~
Thanks! I am NOT a love-poem kinda gal...so this was just pure (fantasy) fun. This probably helped keep it outta the "re-runs" category (my ineptitude in the love poem genre). Glad you liked.
Thanks for the comments,
Laurie
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 8:28 pm
by LaurieAK
Dear, dear Ydf~
How can i resist your bad-boy (whatever your sex!) attitude!! Your insults and projections of superiority as taken place in the "i am your butcher" thread.
Sigh.
To paraphrase Plath, 'every girl loves a brute.' Heart be still. To treat me sooo badly, so arrogantly...you must like me very much (hehe)....with this in mind, i dedicate this poem to you...but only for the next 24 hours...because, well, i am very fickle. toodles, L
Posted: Sat Oct 09, 2004 9:22 pm
by lizzytysh
Thank you, Laurie. I appreciate your comment very much. Yes, juicy indeed
. YDF better hurry along here, or he may miss the coup of his career
.
~ Lizzy
Posted: Sun Oct 10, 2004 2:33 am
by Sandra
if I wouldnt have known who the author was ........I would have said......it was a woman´s....., very feminine indeed Laurie....that is the core of your poem
Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 4:15 pm
by Young dr. Freud
Lizzytysh,
You are the coup of my career.
YdF
Posted: Mon Oct 11, 2004 4:24 pm
by Young dr. Freud
Laurie,
I am sorry that I missed the dedication ceremony. I was away on call. Florida.
As for the poem. I liked it. It reminded me of I Dream of Jeanie.
YdF
Posted: Tue Oct 12, 2004 5:34 am
by lizzytysh
How could I have
missed something of such significance
?