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an hour crawls by
but the cat still waits
by the mouse-hole

even as i write this down
it sits poised to strike

we all want to catch something
and i just caught you

Hi Geoffrey,
I enjoyed this little moment.

The last line may be true and funny; but in my opinion, it cheapens/ruins the poem.
The poem is delightful without it.

Mat.

mat james wrote:The last line may be true and funny; but in my opinion, it cheapens/ruins the poem.

the goodness in my nature prevented me from doing a good job, mat. my aim was to uplift the spirits of other writers here; make them feel superior - the same principle as an ugly girl who makes her friends look pretty.

I really loved this sweet poem and the writer is very talented. But he must watch out for slipping into lower-case i! He made this boo-boo twice.

I think the other poster is being horrid for calling this beautiful verse cheap. IMO he should be chemically castrated and then have his head chopped off but that is only my 5 Cents worth.

I loved the word-play about "strike". My mum always says if I am sitting still, "Helen, are you on strike?" Depending on my mood, I will reply, "yes, Mum" or "go fuck yourself, you dirty Bitch".

I do hope you will write more tails about your lovely cat.

Best wishes

Helen

Animal Lover wrote:I really loved this sweet poem and the writer is very talented. But he must watch out for slipping into lower-case i! He made this boo-boo twice.

I think the other poster is being horrid for calling this beautiful verse cheap. IMO he should be chemically castrated and then have his head chopped off but that is only my 5 Cents worth.

I loved the word-play about "strike". My mum always says if I am sitting still, "Helen, are you on strike?" Depending on my mood, I will reply, "yes, Mum" or "go fuck yourself, you dirty Bitch".

I do hope you will write more tails about your lovely cat.

Best wishes

Helen

A.L.,

I did notice that you share a trait with a lot of other self-proclaimed animal lovers, and that's this preoccupation with capitalization. I just thought I'd point this out since, well, it's only through awareness that one can change such things. I mean, do you honestly think your cat gives a rat's ass if you call him a cat or Cat??????.. I'm pretty sure not. [pretty sure]

.. my god.. time to get a g-Grip.

Signed,

Self Proclaimed Animal Lover's Linguistic Advisor,

Dr. Violet D. Flowers [yes, again, uh, Agane, that's: Ph.D.]

edit: I faux pas'd meself, lacking the possessive in "Lover's".. [it happens, even with Ph.D's]

No criticism from me, I just enjoyed it for what is were, a very nice poem. Now if I try to write one, that would be criminal.

I had a cat
it was very fat
fell off a cliff
splat
that's that.

Animal Lover wrote:I had a cat
it was very fat
fell off a cliff
splat
that's that.

yeah, well I smell a rat.

[tit for tat]

Stooling around.

That Helene
Geoffrey
seems nurtured by criticism.

My dog,
with delight, woofs
the local cat’s excrement
and his own.

?

Survival and pleasure
often illuminate
some road less traveled by.

Mat.


The Road Not Taken (Robert "Geoffrey" Frost.)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

mat james wrote:Stooling around.

That Helene
Geoffrey
seems nurtured by criticism.

My dog,
with delight, woofs
the local cat’s excrement
and his own.

?

Survival and pleasure
often illuminate
some road less traveled by.

Mat.


The Road Not Taken (Robert "Geoffrey" Frost.)

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

2 toads mated in a yellow wood
Norwegian Wood
4 Beatles
mated in a group
50% dead

and animal deaths have gone up since Obama, with lefties and pinkos concentrating their mighty minds on racism and sexism and leaving small animals to fight for freedom to eat small scraps and every time you clean your scraps into a bin you are killing a kitten in your greed and good-breeding. so sleep well tonite knowing you murdered 6 small cats but at least your bellies are full

G

Geoffrey wrote:

mat james wrote:The last line may be true and funny; but in my opinion, it cheapens/ruins the poem.

the goodness in my nature prevented me from doing a good job, mat. my aim was to uplift the spirits of other writers here; make them feel superior - the same principle as an ugly girl who makes her friends look pretty.

Dear Princess Geoffrey … you can dress up with an ugly floppy hat all you’d like – you can even wear purple lipstick with green shadow and big shoes but we will still know that you are a princess underneath the mask.

~~
It's a good poem G - fun and light but Mat's right ending it with "we all want to catch something" would give the reader more pause and feel connected to the cat.