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thats how long I have spent for you writing a draft of a new poem. how long will you spend studying it to learn?


Ego aside, George, and LEARN about writing.....

no title and just some early draft but it's for yooooooo

The Imperfection Detection Vehicle
wasted round my gaff
Where I reside in splendidy splendour
And solve the World’s problems
In a tender
Sort of way

I live a faultless life


Once I was approached by a geezer,
Without formal appointment,
Or introduction,
Planning abduction,
A ransom beyond the Planet’s resources.


I live a faultless life

In my father’s album there are many photos
(Jesus, where did I get that quote from?)


Here I am aged 2
A promise for the future


And here I am aged 102
I lie sometimes


I started this poem
To demonstrate
To a friend
That he must relax
And learn to play with words


It is not an acceptable career path
For a man in his 40’s
To become
A cheap rhyming dictionary
Remaindered at a rainy school fair
For 2 and 6
(He deserves a fete better than that)

With poetry like that reality check, i would give up the aspirations to enter law, stop studying and write poetry.
Adieu
Georges

Reality Check - I think you got you in my fathers....... from

In my Father's house there are many mansions. A happy clappy turn of phase.

Don't give up the day job!!!!!!!!!!

D`OH! Paula, I think Reality Check knew that from his line starting Jesus. If you missed that then the fete/fate would have been missed as well I suppose.


I have enjoyed the RC v George debate. I do think that George´s sensitivity and his attack about RC not showing his real name is very revealing.

I am not using my real name now but that doesn´t make my comments better or worse. And George´s fans on allpoetry may or may not be using their real names either. But I bet that doesn´t devalue their praise for him as he reads it.

I was also moved to check the site and agree with others that it is a friendly place but with little proper analysis of writing. It can, as RC said, easily mislead someone into believing their writing is way better than it is.

I completley respect George´s right to post wherever he wants. He is not obliged to submit his poem to any particular place. I visited the newsgroup RC mentioned and it seems obvious to me that they would rip George´s Execution into shreds. He has no obligation to suffer that and I think we should let the matter rest there.

RC issued a challenge, George ducked it and attcked very defensively (is that possible?) on the irrelevant issue of names.

Good luck to both of them. But, with respect to George, I think RC shows a thousand times more potential. But only if one reads with care, Paula!

ps unlike RC, who as far as I can tell is a stranger, I am a regualr here. Now see if you can respond without the distraction tactics of shouting "coward".

Hi Terri - I didn't miss the "fete" play on words but the other was obviously too subtle for me.

As for the rest of RC's poem that must have all gone over my head because I thought it was rubbish, sorry RC you have to remember I am not particually discerning. So no offence intended.

I shall keep 'em peeled

PS: I have read thru that poem again can someone help me out on what I am missing because it doesn't get any better the more I read it. I know I verge on the edge of stupidity sometimes but will somebody spoon feed me with the knowledge of what the f*** I am missing. I feel like the person at the art gallery looking at a crap painting while everyone else enthuses

Paula,

I have always considered you one of the saner members of this board. You have justified my estimation of your mental state by your critique of Reality Chick's poem. The poem is indeed escrable. (Why, oh why, do the pots continue to announce that the kettles are black?) Please, everyone for the sanity of the planet, stop writing poetry.

YdF


P.S. It is disheartening to see that my work here has had so little effect.

It is significant perhaps that the "Poetry by the Forum members" section is almost the busiest area of the forum. I am sure that it must mean something! I really cannot speculate what. However I am sure that others will.

Young Dr Freud, perhaps you could spare time to examine Reality Check aka Ben Kelly. He is in need of some work.
Regards Georges

Reality Chick is a man? Ben Kelly?

But in the other thread, he said "eeek." That's what threw me off.


I am surprised at this development in your relationship with Ben. I thought you were blood brothers. D--n Poetry divides and destroys yet again!!!!
Please, everyone---STOP writing poetry--for the sake of friendships everywhere!!!

Ydf