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Re: Whips of Seven
Posted: Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:37 am
by Violet
quaileyedsnowsausage wrote:in a dark allusion alleyway nostril horse
the whips of six were insuffiecient
and also not enuff
in the light airing cloud umbilicle courdorys
in the Modest Corner of the circle
why bemused, it is not Paris 1746 any
more!
here we gaze down the barell of a licquorice syphon
steadfast
Urban
barock
and if you in denial roam
there is indeed
no place like
Berlin
.. sausage, huh?.. (hmm).. you know, given it's made of snow, it would probably mel-- [I'm not even gonna say "never mind".. even that seems like too much of an effort, at this point]
Anyway, I think you're wrong. Topeka, Kansas, not Berlin, is the going spot these days. Need to update, fish.
And Denial is in Egypt, you may recall, not Rome. So, let's at least establish some ground rules.. (at the very least).
.. so.. when you bifurcate you don't bring your pic along anymore?.. (oh, sorry.. you may not know about your other fish identities, unless you did as I suggested and contacted Joanne Woodward). [seems unlikely]
Oh, and Anais Nin might allow us a later date for Paris still being rather hot, by the way. Maybe not as hot as Topeka.. but.. Of course, you probably have some secretie-frenchie 1746 fetishie thing going on that you're not likely to
[yes, dear reader, this is an uninspired post that I am seeing to the end ANYWAY] [please understand: it's the principle of the thing]
Actually, "umbilical corduroys" [if I'm correcting you correctly] gets at something I wish had never been gotten at. I'm not sure what that "something" is.. but it's disgusting, I'll give you that much. Maybe it has something to do with the liquorice siphon you mention, though why that's baroque I have no idea. Oh, unless you're speaking of a certain American President, who might in fact be more urbane, than urban.. though probably both, I guess.
[yes: we are all asleep now. I do understand that]
As for: "why bemused".. I mean.. why here?.. couldn't you insert this ANYWHERE in this poem?.. I mean..
Why bemused.. (geez).. (I'll tell you "why bemused".. why don't you just come over here, and I'll tell you real good, in fact, why bemused).. (my god).
Alright, you win. Six whips aren't enough. Oh, and thanks: "not enough," needed to be qualified by "insufficient." Now here I'm not bemused, fish.
.. oh, as to "the Modest Corner of the circle".. you know, that reminds me of when Hollywood people give little secretie messages to their "insider people" when they're giving their Oscar acceptance speeches. (Really obnoxious, fish)
Okay, well.. I think I'm about done here. Actually, because I'm particularly annoyed, I'll require your corrections to be double-spaced.. oh, and in Latin, if you don't mind. [just for the fuck of it]
Ms. V.
Resident Fish Monger[er]
Re: Whips of Seven
Posted: Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:47 pm
by Violet
quaileyedsnowsausage wrote:pucelike alleyway
who is to say
pavement artist
in rococo cocoa
cheers to Art
bastard pipework
Oh. So, I see you've spoken with Ms. Woodward [Sybil's psychiatrist, for those not up on these crucial details].. and so your pic [your only semblance of unity, I suggest] has been restored.
[sigh of relief]
Now, at least you might score some lucrative dates, since it's doubtful your seductiveness could strictly rely on your literary prowess [though leniently, it just might] ['course, with this poem, I might add a bit more suggestiveness] Speaking of, for someone so interested in the Baroque, your poem seems a bit sparse. In the future, you might consider adding a few more word ornaments, as it were. [just a little pointer] [ornately twisting up toward the heavens, maybe] [actually, more likely twisting in another direction entirely] [no doubt]
"Puce" is a word that interests me in that it seems onomanopeiac. I mean, it really captures the sense of heaving, I'd say-- oh, okay, "puking" [and what better place to do that than an alleyway] [pucelike, of course]
Now, somehow "who is to say".. evokes my now favorite [of yours]: "why bemused." Now, just WHY it is you feel.. oh, I don't know.. entitled, even, to insert such queries [from on high, as it were] is really what gives what otherwise might just seem trite or pointless, a prominent place of readership perplexity. And that, fish.. is what keeps me coming back. [I mean, it had to be something, didn't it??]
Cheers to Art.
[notice how I
oh, never mind]
Oh.. you might want to let us in on just why the pipework merits being called "bastard." Is it born of separate pipes??.. Is it strictly rhetorical?.. or is such epithet conveying a contempt having to do with the pipework interfering somehow with all the cheery artwork on the pavement in your [pukey] alleyway?.. or am I being far too literal now? [we can't have that] No, for you, fish.. there must be something really and truly obtuse [so to rhyme with "puce"] involved.. and who can really say what that might be..
You know, if I'm crying into my lavender-scented hanky now, it's because of the range of emotion you tend to raise in me. Yes, you're a cheap trick trying to defile what might otherwise be [as I've pointed out before] a prestigious literary forum.. and yet.. well, it's true that the fact that you take some time between johns.. [or, even between puking in alleyways] [uh, better check your method of contraception, fish] [might not be too effective, turns out].. now wha--
Oh. That you would take the time to write even the most mediocre of poems, when you might otherwise turn to pass times far more
.. well.. anyway, it moves me somehow, I guess.. or is it merely that I’ve
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HroAq_E075Y
FULL SCREEN..
Signed,
Ms. V. [in her "Professor Higgins" mode]