leonardcohenforum.com

A new poem . . .

Leonard's Guitar

Leonard
take your guitar
like a woman
caught between your
soul and your clothes

you needed her hopeless
and broke and made
her sing loneliness
for a meagre supper of
red wine and toast

you left her too
when she was old and out of
tune and out of fashion

you wrote poetry to her
like she was the
sighing instrument of your
passion
now flat and cold

you're so polished now
that platinum voice trimmed
and sewn into excellent sound
your fingers go to
other things
while she aches for you
like Marianne
to change her strings

your ghost of metal and wood
thinks that you will
knows that you should
touch her like an old friend
to make her
breathe like a woman again

Natalie Fuhr

Dear Natalie,
I hope you'll read your poem at the Victoria event; it deserves to be aired in public. I've said elsewhere on this forum that you have a voice; your writing deserves to be heard.
I like your poem (can I mail you off-board about one or two bits?)
Yours,
Andrew.

Dear Natalie,
Never mind the "bits"!
It reads like a poem and sounds like a song!
So go for it!
Andrew.

So beautiful, Natalie....insightful and aching in its truth. Excellent use of metaphor and, without knowing the minute details of Leonard's life [or many of the broader ones for that matter], Marianne seems the perfect choice for naming. I also really liked "like a woman / caught between your / soul and your clothes." That accomplishes several things conceptually and simultaneously. A poem well worth the writing and reading and that, of course, has broad application worldwide . Yet, in the personal world of Leonard, it seems so appropos, especially now somehow. I love all of it, and your last verse is stunning in its subtlety and sensitivity.
Love, Lizzytysh

Awesome, Natalie! Send it to Leonard!

Peace
Babz

Excellent idea, Babz. I was hoping someone in these parts, with more direct access, might see a FW as being in order. However, much more personal and appropriate for Natalie to do it herself. That's two votes, Natalie!

~Lizzytysh

Nice imagry and well put together, send it to Kelly, Leonards manager!!!
In time for his birthday..........
Georges

Great idea, Georges....actually, the same holds true in my mind for the one SongKathy wrote, "If The Moon Had A Sister." Not sure if gentle comeuppances make the best birthday gifts, yet can't help but feel that Leonard will still appreciate the poems with their truths.
~Lizzytysh

As a poet himself, i feel he would like it.
Georges

I agree, Georges, if that didn't come through in my post.

Wow!



Thanks everyone for your comments.

I wrote that poem about a month ago, but I didn't like it, so I changed it a bit. I like it a lot better now, but that will probably change by next week. I think I'm my worst critic.

I will probably read it at the event. I have been practising "First We Take Manhattan" with a friend of mine, Terry Gilbert Morris (President of the Victoria Writers' Society). I have no idea what the correct chords are, but I figured them out somehow, using a capo on the second fret. Terry's doing the verses, and I'm doing the part: "I'd really like to live beside you baby . . ."

September is Cohen month, especially with all these birthday tributes. Imagine what's going to happen for his 69th?

Just a tidbit: did you know that he was thinking of changing his name to September (in 1966)? The interviewer asked him, "you mean Leonard September?" He said, "No, September Cohen."

Anyway, I hope everyone is well. Again thank you very much for your comments. Holy ego-stroking!

Cheers,
Natalie

Thanks, Natalie....now I understand the moniker of one of the members here. I wondered what that was all about. It has a nice sound, yet not as good as "Leonard Cohen," which is in no danger of sounding contrived. I sure wish I was going to be at that end of the continent for your event. Please put some photos of it somewhere on here for us....maybe via a link on Jarkko's front page? Your poem will be well-received. Give your singing line all you got~
~Lizzytysh

Dear Natalie,
In the second stanza, can I suggest "broken" instead of "broke"?
"sing of loneliness" instead of "sing loneliness"?
Also, "you wrote her poetry" instead of "you wrote poetry to her"?
And (don't be upset, please), could you consider omitting "like Marianne"?
Also, "red wine and bread" instead of "red wine and toast"? (That suggestion may be an obvious reference to the Last Supper, but I think it fits the subject matter).
These were, mostly, the "bits" to which I refered in my original reply to your excellent poem.
Yours, as aye,
Andrew.

Andrew,

I like your suggestions, but I'm still bonding with the poem. I am sure you can relate to that.

It's in its infancy stage, and I don't want to corrupt it, quite yet. Corrupt it, in a good way, of course.

Thanks for looking at carefully enough to be able to see where it can be improved. I value your opinion, and your objectivity.

Take care,
Natalie

Dear Natalie,
Thanks for reading my suggestions: I fully understand the stage of the relationship you have with your poem. Allow it to proceed; it'll get there.
Best wishes,
Andrew.