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the shadow of your discontent

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 4:55 am
by siren
I tarried at the foothills
Of your discontent
Swept away by scenic
vistas yet to be named.
I lingered - eyes locked
to the fading sun
As shadows grew upon
my frozen form
Starstruck
beneath the moonlight
-in a leap of faith
I grabbed mine own hand
and flew away
Doomed to wonder -
Did I leave, perhaps,
Just a moment too soon?

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 5:36 am
by lizzytysh
Welcome to the Forum, siren :D . I really like your phrasings in the first, three sets here. The last, oh my, how I can relate.
I tarried at the foothills
Of your discontent

As shadows grew upon
my frozen form

I grabbed mine own hand
and flew away

Doomed to wonder -
Did I leave, perhaps,
Just a moment too soon?
~ Lizzy

Posted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 11:23 am
by Makera
Yes, Siren, this is beautiful....with profound suggestiveness and poignancy.

The answer is, probably, yes.....
The timing of some opportunities are too easily missed through distractions and haste. That need not mean they are necessarily lost....there is always a way of return; one only needs to believe it possible.

See, I said it was 'suggestive' :D

Love & Light,
~ Makera