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new moon ramble

Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 2:58 pm
by Cate
That damn moon is gone again.

a poet once argued
that the moon was a man
maybe,
men always leave.

In someway or another they leave
it's just what they do.

(A grandfather dies
soon after my father, his son.
Another grandfather, another son,
another uncle; all left,
all died.)

My husband torments me
at our holiday dinner
pouring clotted gravy
onto his piece of roast beef.
My stomach tightens.
After
the women go to the kitchen
leaving <just> two to stare
(suspiciously) at each other
wondering
who will be next.

(the water is running in the bathroom
as a husband clips his nails
short and round
before walking past his bedroom door
and leaving for work
an hour early.)

sure he'll be home tonight,
but what about tomorrow?


(revision 1)

Re: new moon ramble

Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 1:52 pm
by mat james
Quentin Tarantino could do something with this Cate.
It's all set for ....anything! 8)

Mat.

Re: new moon ramble

Posted: Mon May 03, 2010 7:44 pm
by imaginary friend
Hi Cate (Hi Mat),

I have come back to read New Moon Ramble several times, and attempted to comment more than once but held back. Mat's comment has said it best, I think.

The title suggested a certain lightheartedness, but each time I read it, I felt mounting uneasiness, especially the last stanza (the man clipping his nails thoughtfully – different explanations for his thoughtfulness spring to mind – none of them comforting). The poem has a deliberateness (is that a word?) to it, a cautionary seed.

PS: You and Mat always come to mind when I look up at the moon, especially when she's full.

Re: new moon ramble

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 2:46 am
by Cate
Quentin Tarantino could do something with this Cate.
Hi Mat - He'd probably have some good ideas. Maybe a crazed distraught woman could stalk greasy burger eating men at fast food places - played by Geena Davis cause she's tough!
I felt mounting uneasiness
that's good Sheila - I was aiming for anxiousness/irrational fear/paranoia. I work shopped this a couple of weeks ago at a poetry forum (hence the proper spelling and reasonable grammar :D) but I still am fiddling.

Thoughtfully - ahhh... I'm going back a forth on that word.


Thanks for your comments guys,
x
Cate

Re: new moon ramble

Posted: Tue May 04, 2010 11:56 pm
by Harry S
Cate wrote:
Thanks for your comments guys,
x
Cate
you're very welcome Geoffrey.

Re: new moon ramble

Posted: Wed May 05, 2010 12:05 am
by Cate
You did not comment Harry therefore I do not thank you

on your knees and apologize for your faux pas!!!!