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for my suffering -
for every minute of it

El Shaddai
You are Almighty
Bigger than religion
You are One
Forever One
Infinite Knowing
Creator of Man
Of good and evil
Of free will
Until we are One

You fuse animal
With sacred
So we sing
So we die
Angels fade
Into our behaviour
We glimpse
Your raw light
This curious ego
Until we are One

You teach Love
To the misfits
To the broken
So they know
To rise up
Murder greed
In faith
Wall Street
And empire
Until we are One

You give us Universe
You hand it over
We accept
Nervously
Yet boldly
We dance
Together
Gratefully
Oh so gratefully
Until we are One

You rest
Your handiwork open
Your mystery safe
Rational law
Understanding
Compassion
We feed every orphan
We unfurl a peace flag
We live in the moment
We are now One

LOL I see that you have jumped on Teratogen's bandwagon and have written a poem about the golf Legend Arnold Palmer. Yours is quite brilliant! If the golf Legend Arnold Palmer were alive today he would be thrilled at your tribute. El Shaddai indeed!

Thanks ‘HarryS’,

That meant something, really.

Peace mate,
Boss

PS. I’ll let you in on a secret. Please don’t tell anyone on the Forum. Okay? Okay. Arnold Palmer was a good golfer but he’s got nothing on the VFL player, Alex Jesaulenko. ‘Harry’, this guy wasn’t just good, in my book, he was the best. He was so good that when little kids took a spectacular mark (catch), we said he took a ‘Jezza’. He was the first Carlton player to kick a ton – 115 I think. He made his debut in the late 60’s, played throughout the 70’s and retired in the early 80’s. He played in four premiership teams: 1968, 1970, 1972 and 1979. In ’79 he was captain/coach. In 1980 he went to St.Kilda. Jezza never won a Brownlow but I think he came close. Take a look (be patient at the beginning!).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5J-TuG8rKc

See…

A friend of mine asserted that the most important things in life are friendships and health. I replied:

Hi _____. I agree, friendship and health are important. But I would add another. All through time human beings related to ‘Sacred’ phenomena in our world. Perhaps a place or thing like Uluru, the Wailing Wall or Stone Henge; to animals like the cow or bear or kangaroo; to the natural world – thunder, wind, the sun; and to the more sophisticated gods of religion – Zeus, Hermes, Yahweh. Very little is sacred now. Money is worshipped, as are possessions. So is the shallow domain of how one ‘looks’. A far cry from Thor or the buffalo! And it is in our emptiness we, all of us, slowly go insane. It is crucial we connect with ‘the dance’, with the numinous. It is crucial for survival…

Still diggin' in,
Boss

He hung there
Sun piercing his eyes
His hands
His feet
Knees
His side

They spat
And cursed
Sniggered
They laughed
“Where are you now?”
“Where’s ya God?”

And he screamed out
“Forgive them
They know not
What they do”
Blood trickling in his
Curly black hair*

Two boys
Wurundjeri
By the Yarra Yarra
Watching koala
Goanna
Hear a sound

Foreign
Like sharp thunder
They hear men
Different tribe
A red coat
Two more

The boys freeze
He lifts his musket
Shoots them
Point blank
Through their heads of
Curly black hair

They marched them in
Stripped them
Shunted them
Threw down the pellets
Zyklon-B
They choked

Screaming
The dark
Screaming
The poison
To kill
They died

Warm
They lay still
On the floor
Forty, fifty
They’d shaven off their
Curly black hair

The old man
Checking his veggies
All growing
Morning sun
An aeroplane drone
Deep in the distance

Nothing unusual
Get the can
Water ‘em in
BANG
White orange light
Mushroom cloud

100,000 incinerated
Evaporated
Kids, animals
Man and wife
She just combing her
Curly black hair

Two towers stand
Blue sky
Work day
A Muslim man
Talks business
His son’s birthday

Fortieth floor
Filling up
A plane appears
It is low
It hits
Walls crumple in

The Muslim man
His temple bleeding
Smoke, confusion
He suffocates
His hand in his
Curly black hair

And I do not know
How horrific
This God can be
This Adonai
Who allows
Such tragedy

Who threatens tomorrow
With nuclear write off
Ecological crack up
Social dysfunction
And the lies
Of pretence

Who allows
Counterfeit leaders
Married to business
To suck in
Your daughter with
Curly black hair

It is not Him
It is us



*I am not a Christian and, unfortunately, I don't know if I am a Jew anymore. I am Human, so are you - I think that transcends religion. We, all of us, are the progeny of 13.7 billion years of Creation; of 4.5 billion years of this planet. Do you think such an incredible story like that will just die away? Would Cohen have written, ‘The Future’, if he thought we didn’t stand a chance? He wrote it because he knew it would be difficult; he knew it would be dangerous.

I apologize for the violence of this poem. But I feel it was warranted. This is a nasty world we inhabit. Have a look at the News or a police officer's day. I am aware of love; one day I hope it reigns and that violence is some outdated aspect of the past that we, from time to time, refer to because it reminds us of how awful we were; and can be.

Tell 'em Van! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BteIwbKU_iQ

In peace,
Boss

Boss I very much enjoyed the first piece that you posted here, but the second piece really touched me. I feel affected by it - thanks for posting it.

I am not a Christian either and I thoroughly agree with what you have said about being human transcending religion, many folks don't understand that because they see that their religion defines them and who they are- which is a very obvious and valid point ofcourse! - Just doesn't tie in with how I see things that's all.
However, when you say about an incredible story - I do agree that it is (of course it's beyond true words and comprehension really )- but just because we find it incredible ...it doesn't mean that it won't just die away, (or atleast appear to just die away from our perspective) We are a part of something enormous - but we are not the central point of it. Though I am sure that there are more elements to the statement you made than just this...

Perhaps in deeper conversation we would find a great many differences in our viewpoints, but certainly what you have said in your notes, as well as your poems - rings certain bells with me.

Thanks

A
x

Boss writes:

And it is in our emptiness we, all of us, slowly go insane. It is crucial we connect…

Bowed by the weight of centuries he leans upon his hoe and gazes on the ground, the emptiness of ages in his face, and on his back the burden of the world. – Edwin Markham

Emptiness destroys ones' concept of reality based upon individual beliefs. It does away with assumptions we carry around about ourselves and the world around us. But, it also makes open to us a reality far more spectacular than we might imagine even in our narrowest of views, an infinity within every moment.

It's hard to wait around for something you hope might reshape the feelings of emptiness. But it's harder to give up when you know there is something out there that will one day make sense of all it was you ever really wanted from the start. And so, despite it all, I say my day will shine brighter than anyone, for isn't the purpose of life to enjoy every moment even though sometimes the world, this life, can appear completely mixed up, irrational and crazy.

Having said this, there are days that I want to escape reality, to be left alone to seek out that illusive fairy godmother who'll grant me my three wishes. There are days when I don't want to care about anything or anybody, days when I feel I can't move, locked in this skin and I question why everything seems to keep going wrong. Trapped, I long for an escape.

In this longing I never wish to be everything to everyone, but I do love being something to someone. I begin to realize that we are given the chance everyday, to start over, and so I take it. Why not stand up for something even if it means sometimes you have to stand alone. In the process of fighting for what you believe in, don't forget to laugh when possible, apologize when necessary, let go of what cannot be changed, play hard, forgive quickly, give everything and have no regrets.

I am who I am today because of the choices I am making right now. Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it just means I've decided to look beyond life's many imperfections, in a different way. Moving on, I always remember that what is left behind is just a chapter, so I won't close the book, but I will continue on at the turn of each new page. I will continue to connect and have faith in my family and friends because more often than not they will be the ones to catch me when I fall.

When reading your post Carm- what struck me is how much of what you said has multiple definitions, for me personally...

Emptiness destroys ones' concept of reality based upon individual beliefs.

I agree with this statement on face value- but in addition to it, in contrast to it in some ways, it feels to me that my own personal emptiness has been part of those things that have allowed me to come to my own conclusions...something that others may label (for convenience as much as anything else) as my own 'individual beliefs'. So while emptiness shatters and voids and clears out...it also, by consequence - creates.

It's hard to wait around for something you hope might reshape the feelings of emptiness.

I believe it is not a matter of waiting around as such, sometimes actively seeking is appropriate, but in place of waiting around, personally speaking I would define it as simply being constantly receptive. Being open - open all hours So sometimes being open all hours is an active thing, sometimes it is a quiet time of seclusion, sometimes the heart beats rapidly, sometimes the heart beats at a slower pace, but it never stops and waits.

I am who I am today because of the choices I am making right now.

I think that you re-define your past to yourself, as your perceptions of it and the effect your past has on you in the here and now - can change. As we all grow - different light is cast on ourselves and we start to become more aware of our journey, that is, ourselves. But at the same time, in some respects, some things cannot be gone back on whatsoever...I do feel that I am who I am today because of the choices I making about right now, but hand in hand with it I am also who I am today because of my evolved perceptions right now about some of those past choices, as well as those that I have not changed my perception about at all. If that makes sense??

Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it just means I've decided to look beyond life's many imperfections, in a different way.

This may sound peculiar, but I think that a fundamental part of happiness is imperfection, but then I think true happiness lies in being truthful and honest to yourself, not in rising above imperfection. And besides, what is or isn't perfect relies heavily on perception anyways. Perfect and imperfect are almost the same thing- they are so far at either end of the spectrum that they end up standing back to back, and therefore that means that they are in fact...standing side by side, a bit like love and hate. (This understanding relies on seeing many aspects of life in circles, (in some form or another), which I appear to do instinctively and quite a lot too, and I am still not sure as to precisely why that is yet... but I am only in my early 30's - so perhaps there is time for me to find out yet!? ) I don't look so much beyond imperfections then, for this very reason.

Carm... - you too have managed to lock into my own thoughts here

Anyhows... I dunno about golf...but I am 'instinctively wondering' about whether there is some underlying thing to do with gargantuan questions such as 'What's cricket?' (in the great scheme of things context) - in all of this...

A
x

Thanks for your recent comments Alsiony.

as Boss writes…

They spat
And cursed
Sniggered
They laughed
“Where are you now?”
“Where’s ya God?”

In the grande scheme of things, all and everything might seem trivial. If we look around, how can we deny the ills of our society; increasing homelessness, hunger, war, health care crisis, poverty, yadda, yadda, yadda. Does it all become just vaccuous chatter?

I feel some things are a matter of principle. When it is time to find our way out of the woods, many of us hope to assuage our worries and uncertainties by tidying up the untidiness of our lives. And so some of us go in one direction and prepare to mount our massive offensive while others go in the other direction and partake in a simple game of cricket, or dare I say it…golf!.

Is our life a mere footnote in the grande scheme of things or, is it something more? I suppose it depends on the individual.

Dear Carm! - I feel I may have wrongly led you to think that in my whole response I was just being flippant - definitely not so!!
I am confused about some of what you said though...

In the grande scheme of things, all and everything might seem trivial. If we look around, how can we deny the ills of our society; increasing homelessness, hunger, war, health care crisis, poverty, yadda, yadda, yadda. Does it all become just vaccuous chatter?

In the main part of my post - did I sound like I think these kinds of issues are trivial??

(The golf thing did make me giggle - as side from the over-riding serious points.
...And when I used the term 'What's cricket' it was a tie-in with the golf thing (in terms of both being a type of sport), but in a light-hearted way I was actually alluding to the phrase "That's just not cricket", because much in life does feel wrong at times - desperately unfair...)

You see... ending my heavy post on a lighter, loosely connected note - probably reflects my inclinations to get through this existence by trying to always keep smiling...Through various experiences that I don't feel comfy talking about on here... I have found that if you go at anything - whether it be for yourself, or in helping others... your frame of mind to begin with is of paramount importance.
Being positive, and also being able to see the laughter and smiles in life - although it may initially appear to be a flippant response, in deeper principle it is actually no joking matter at all.

Anyways- I do indeed hope that you haven't misunderstood me as I fear you may have... my apology is really for the potential crossed wires- rather than anything I have actually written here.

In answer to your question though... I think it is both at the same time...but then time is quite another subject altogether.

BestWishes

A
x

Alsiony, I didn't think you were being flippant at all, infact, I agree wholeheartedly with most of what you had initially wrote. And I thank you for your voice.

Alsiony writes:

I do indeed hope that you haven't misunderstood me as I fear you may have... my apology is really for the potential crossed wires- rather than anything I have actually written here.

Being positive, and also being able to see the laughter and smiles in life - although it may initially appear to be a flippant response, in deeper principle it is actually no joking matter at all.

How do we try to make sense of it all when dealing with the complexities of life? If everything does have to make sense, what’s the criteria for making sense? And if some things don’t have to make sense, how do we know what is right and what is wrong? How do we even begin to categorize it as such?

Thankfully we've been given the ability to think, reason, discern and dream and so we have a means by which we can at least try to make sense of things. As we get older some of us learn to enjoy life and reason with ourselves and others that not everything can be as we wish it to be. When I am exhausted and need to be alone for a while so as to rid myself of the stresses and pressures of daily existence, somewhere inside I try to muster up enough courage to face my inner struggles while holding myself responsible for the consequences of my actions and beliefs. Like some, I go off in a certain direction as I prepare to mount my massive offensive towards life’s uncertainties, while others choose to go in another direction and partake in a simple game of cricket, or dare I say it again…golf!

And so, in the grand scheme of things if we are able to find truth at those particular places of balance between the various extremes, perhaps then we will find some sort of middle ground where we can stand tall, lift our head high and stay strong as we assuage our uneasiness and collect our thoughts.

There's no doubt that at times it is difficult to be impassioned and receptive to such uneasiness and disturbance despite our best intentions, however, patience is a virtue. I do feel that the way one deals with life's uncertainties always depends on the individual and what their sense of principle and belief is, and maybe that is why an eerie aura of uncertainty tends to hang over some.

Boss writes:

I am aware of love; one day I hope it reigns and that violence is some outdated aspect of the past that we, from time to time, refer to because it reminds us of how awful we were; and can be.

It is crucial we connect with ‘the dance’, with the numinous. It is crucial for survival

U2’s Sunday Bloody Sunday

I can't believe the news today
Oh, I can't close my eyes and make it go away
How long, how long must we sing this song?
How long? How long?
'Cause tonight we can be as one, tonight? 


The lyrics describe the horror felt by an observer of the troubles in Northern Ireland, mainly focusing on the Bloody Sunday incident in Derry where British troops shot and killed civil rights marchers.

And it's the strongest way of saying, 'How long? How long do we have to put up with this?' I don't care who's who - Catholics, Protestants, whatever. You know people are dying every single day through bitterness and hate, and we're saying why? What's the point? And you can move that into places like El Salvador and other similar situations - people dying. Let's forget the politics, let's stop shooting each other and sit around the table and talk about it... There are a lot of bands taking sides saying politics is crap, etc. Well, so what! – Drummer Mullen

At times life isn't a joking matter, but we musn't ever lose our sense of humor either. It is what helps get us through.

I wrote this some months ago…

Snowflake’s Chance In Hell

All said and all done
Bare facts they will tell
Whittled to nothing
Snowflake’s chance in hell

They call me a madman
They say I’m naive
They call me a killer
Of this no reprieve

Labelled a Judas
A joke and a thief
A liar, a Jewboy
A true Sadducee

The judges they gloat
The critics they rage
Laughter, sarcasm
Remove the false sage!

Imams hurl insults
And rabbis at night
A minister smiles
His place in spot light

So what is the charge?
To be human for sure
Guilty of knowledge
I deem you impure

You fashion your ways
Of deceit and bad dreams
Your words are but lethal
To my greedy schemes

You poison the young
Your irreligious crap
Give hope to the hopeless
This hippy claptrap!

My son he is your age
Has a brand new V-8
Knows bible verse backward
Its love and its hate

He throws out a line
Isaiah fifty-three
“Here is the proof, Dad
I’m sure of it, see?”

I escape this confusion
It rankles my heart
I look back to you
And ponder the start

On that old yellow sofa
When the telly did lie
Only six hours after
I told Him I’d die

Sleeping together
In the sin, in the car
Wracking our brains out
A sacrifice scar

If I see you in Rio
Or down by the Thames
I’ll kiss both your eyelids
Bring roses on stems

The stakes are so high
As high as the moon
I come for you love
On a hot afternoon

When palm fronds are bowed
And time ticks its way
Through baggage and loss
And stigma’s decay

When little white secrets
Are heard on the breeze
Through sanctification
We’re brought to our knees

Privacy needed
We ask in retreat
“No dice,” is the answer
“You’re on Popular St.”

Rearrange order
Zone in a chief
Ambush an army
This hundredfold grief

Kafka’s house, Praha
Los Angeles haze
Summer night, Kenya
Jerusalem stays

So long,
Boss

Ooo Boss! You've done it to me again! Haha.
From an entirely selfish point of view, it is a complete joy to read someone else's words that seem to so perfectly encapsulate what I think.
Though I can't (and wouldn't anyway) - offer any constructive critisism about the structure of it, because I am not a professional (though I personally love the way it has been written!) - I can say that this poem too pierces my heart and soul.

I could sit here all day and write about it- because there is so much that makes up my full response. There is so much that sparks discussion - from that point of view it is delicious. But I shall spare you! And be as concise as I can instead and I hope you won't mind what is going to be such a personal response ...

It's hard to decide which bit to cut my comments down to...but I know I would like to comment on this part -

So what is the charge?
To be human for sure
Guilty of knowledge
I deem you impure

You fashion your ways
Of deceit and bad dreams
Your words are but lethal
To my greedy schemes

You poison the young
Your irreligious crap
Give hope to the hopeless
This hippy claptrap!

I grew up as a Christian. For the bulk of my childhood my Mother raised me alone. She is an atheist, but deliberately sent me to a Christian teaching school so that I might gain what she could not offer me - a strong idea of God somehow. We would debate about it all quite thoroughly at times - I was fully aware of her take on things, but she provided herself as a place to debate and never tried to tell me that I was wrong. I guess she helped me learn the ability to question what I believed. Due to certain events, that strength and ability to question myself in this regard came into serious play in following years of my childhood and teens. And I believe became a serious asset to me. The long and the short of it is - for one reason or another, I suddenly became aware that it all felt wrong! Not completely and absolutely wrong, but very fundamentally flawed partly because of other people, because of how I saw my faith was being used. I began to feel quite alienated about it all, and also guilty for feeling it all a slightly different way. But also because of a very strong dream that I had... in which (to put it simply because it was very vivid indeed) I saw myself with something like a bolts of lightening coming out of my own head and reaching up to the sky. (That is a very simplified version). All of these things taken into account - I became aware that any spiritual connection I was to have with absolutely anything - actually must come from, and be managed better, directly through just little old me. I stopped going to church and endeavoured to basically skip the man-made rubbish (as I personally saw it- NO offence to anyone!) and looked for a direct path, above all of that which I found so confusing. I realised that I did not need labels and boundaries to find my spiritual side.
I must stress here that I have absolutely no problem with organised religion whatsoever!! I think that if I did - it would have to therefore feel somehow threatened by the fact that others do not see the way that I do - and I'm just not upset by differences such as that.
How things now appear to me...is an essay in itself and new layers are always being added as I grow and learn, and I shan't labour you with it here.
There is so much more within your poem for me, but I could go on for ages I am afraid, if I haven't already done so apologies for waffling on so far...and for any differences that my part response may actually have to your intended meanings of your poem... but I felt compelled to reply...mostly to say thanks to you, and to explain why a bit.
I am having a 'time of my life' again lately (never a bad thing overall - when it happens, despite all of the elements involved) - largely inspired by the fact that it is my 33rd birthday next week (a big one for me personally).
Anyways, with all that in mind, the timing of your words appearing to my eyes is perfect,

Thankyou!

A
x

Double 3's Alsiony!
It's sure to be an auspicious year for you, Happy Birthday now just in case I miss the actual date. xxx

Hi Adam, I like how you move from present to past and from solid images to thoughts that are not as tangible (for me). I'm not sure if this is the same poem from yesterday or a different one (I tend to remember images over words) but parts that stood out then where the 3 woman/nurses and Buddie.

On that old yellow sofa
When the telly did lie
Only six hours after
I told Him I’d die

Sleeping together
In the sin, in the car
Wracking our brains out
A sacrifice scar

If I see you in Rio
Or down by the Thames
I’ll kiss both your eyelids
Bring roses on stems

I've only read this version a couple of times, but this part for me stood out. There is love, pain and loss but also a softness 'If I see you...'
I like how you say "In the sin" not in sin - what a difference to meaning the makes. I also like your use of the wracking instead of racking - a fantastic word play that adds a lot to the texture of your poem.

I'm glad to read your poems again Boss,

x
Cate