leonardcohenforum.com

my world has only black snow
dead squirrels and lonely hate
slowly sliding into the fear
that ever was

your world is stupid and
warm white skin
and I know for certain
that you will look death
straight into her eyes
full of love and boring details
like response
like rent
like life

thank you
it seems to me grotesque, cynical and self-ironically wise

full of love and boring details
like response
like rent
like life

sounds like a nice view of a sceptic over naivity

Unless you really are a suicidal cutter, the first stanza is over-dramatic. But the second stanza is really good. Well, most of it is.
this:

your world is stupid and
warm white skin
and I know for certain
that you will look death
straight into her eyes
full of love and boring details

Of course, I realize chopping it down to this undoes your entire intent and would also require a title-change. But does the world of the second stanza have to be contrasted? Isn't that world unusual enough without it? Your reader will use it to contrast against his/her own world, and weather the reader's world pleases him or not, it is likely a contrast to stupid & boring.

I'm not sure what inspired this, but it makes me think of a baby who is destined to die shortly after birth. Or a suicidal cutter.