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a sepia boyish face
with a cheeky smile
just like a male mona lisa
once heard, the voice will forever touch
and will never ever, never ever, gona leave you
it was 68, when i first heard those songs
the type that burrow and burn themselves in your soul
and transfix your mind
towards your place in mankind
and allow you to accept, your destiny to find
and help you towards our common goal
"The Stranger Song" and "Suzanne"
and of course the classic "So Long Marrianne"
thirsted your desire to get to know him
with published books and poetry too
so many sampling of tasting to go through
and his genius would always amaze you
once sipped, you know that you are never going to stop
Glimpsing the knowledge within you a lot
and now at three score and ten
after a long refuge with Zen
and the long awaited release of the Ten
he is still here to guide and be adored by you
Georges

male mona lisa
good one!

Dear George,


Start over. Use the first three lines. Throw the rest away.


M

Hi George ~

and now at three score and ten
after a long refuge with Zen
and the long awaited release of the Ten

I sure enjoyed how this worked out!

George

TEN, Bo Derek doesn't stand a chance!

Cheers

Ben

Thanks to all of you for your comments. I wrote this with a high regard for leonard.
Georges

Ben, if Bo Derek has no chance, what about Dudley moore???
Regards....Georges

George

Dudley is now to busy with Peter Cook upstairs to even consider the charms of Bo, fun, music then the poetry of beauty, in that order.

Celestial cheer


Ben

Ben or romping about with the tribes of Dan???
Georges

George, I do like your writing, as well you know. That said I trust that my quibbles will not offend or insult.

and will never ever, never ever, gona leave you

Something about the syntax of this line does not work. could you try re-writing it?
Though I am inspired by Leonard's work and in awe of his skill and artistry, I do not adore him nor is he my guide. On that basis I would delete the last line or write his praises another way.

My comments are personal opinion with no intent to judge the piece as a whole. I appreciate your contributions past and present.

Cheers, Witty Owl.

Thanks Witt for your views. I wrote this piece very quickly and as you pointed out needs some corrections. It was the way i was feeling at the time towards LC.
Georges

and i will never, never again see you
would that be better Witt.
Georges