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Mouth full of love
Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:23 am
by Aletheia
with my mouth
full of love
and eyes full of tears
I had to tell you
that you no longer
was my lover
with the mouth
full of silence
and your eyes
full of anger
you slapped me
one time or two
until you fell down
but your fall
is deeper
than you ever
will see
that is why
my friend
that is why
Re: Mouth full of love
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 12:35 am
by Lion of Lions
det er et underligt digt, med nogle underlige ideer og grammatiske fejl
Aletheia wrote:with my mouth
full of love
and eyes full of tears
I had to tell you
you should never talk with your mouth full
that you no longer
was my lover
were, not was
with the mouth
your mouth
full of silence
and your eyes
full of anger
you slapped me
one time or two
until you fell down
from the effort of just two slaps?
but your fall
is deeper
than you ever
will see
was there a hole in the ground?
that is why
my friend
that is why
that is why what exactly?
I really liked your expression "mouth full of silence"
welcome to the forum
Lion of LIons
Re: Mouth full of love
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:19 pm
by lizzytysh
Hi Aletheia ~
but your fall
is deeper
than you ever
will see
that is why
my friend
that is why
Very effectively you speak of how you took your stand. Good on you. Welcome to the Forum
.
~ Lizzy
Re: Mouth full of love
Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:25 pm
by Aletheia
Thank you Lizzie and Lion of lions for your comments. I will correct my spelling later.
Thanks!