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I love you

Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 3:16 am
by Aletheia
the world tips over in darkness
and I love you
only because you can
tip over my world
and pretends that
nothing has happend

my world tips over in darkness
whenever you are near
and I completly forget
who I am
and who is my dear

Re: I love you

Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 2:14 am
by iveta
I like it because it's both abstract and personal....perhaps about the moments when personal is getting abstract....

Re: I love you

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 12:04 am
by Cate
I like this one as well Aletheia. I think I can relate to this feeling.

I like the phrasing and repetition of "my world tips over...

I think that the s on pretend(s) is unnecessary.


Welcome to the forum.

Cate

Re: I love you

Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 1:22 pm
by Aletheia
Thank you so much. I will correct my spelling later. Thank you!