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the world tips over in darkness
and I love you
only because you can
tip over my world
and pretends that
nothing has happend

my world tips over in darkness
whenever you are near
and I completly forget
who I am
and who is my dear

I like it because it's both abstract and personal....perhaps about the moments when personal is getting abstract....

I like this one as well Aletheia. I think I can relate to this feeling.

I like the phrasing and repetition of "my world tips over...

I think that the s on pretend(s) is unnecessary.


Welcome to the forum.

Cate

Thank you so much. I will correct my spelling later. Thank you!