leonardcohenforum.com

In 1982 I took a creative writing course at the university in my home town. Part of our study of poetry was learning to analyse and critique a poem. To do this, we learned the process known as scansion where a poem isbroken down to its metrical basics. We would then explore it looking for the tools the poet used to accomplish what he was trying to say. This included rhythm, assonance, consonance, rhyme, alliteration, metaphor, simile, etc. We would then write an essay to explain how he used these things. The final part of the assignment was to write an imitation of the poem trying to imitate the voice of the poet. I chose a poem by Dylan Thomas because he is one of my favourites. Here is my imitation.

The Rage That Through The Darkness Thrusts These Harsh Words
(in imitation of Dylan Thomas’s ‘The Force That Through The Green Fuse Drives The Flower’)
The rage that through the darkness thrusts these harsh words
Thrusts my cold nerve; that stuns the gleam of thought
Is my discord.
And I am slow to take unto my part
How by the master’s heart such sounds are heard.

The rage that thrusts the power through the sounds
thrusts mine to sleep; that seeks the fluid voice
turns mine to sand.
And I am slow to force upon this space
How near the edge of ruin the bland heart stands.

The hand that turns the jargon into tools
Deserts no plan; that slants the easy phrase
Discards no rules.
And I am slow to look beyond the haze
How by the light of reading its darkness pales.

The test of time approves the poets worth;
Moss grips and gathers, but the hidden death
of words is done.
And I am slow to learn that secret path
How to a master’s virtues that fierce goals won.

And I am slow to share a master’s stealth
How by his gentle wisdom proves his greatest wealth.

Hi Vern thanks for the introduction to The Force That Through The Green Fuse Drives The Flower. What a beautiful yet harsh poem, I can see why you would choose it for your assignment.

I think your poem has done a good job of capturing the rhythm and some of the repetition of the original. It was a good idea to use the becoming of a young poet as your subject, it fits well with the theme.
I hope you received a good mark.

rubbish.