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the dark egg of nothing cracked and allowed the light to come in
and created the concept of origonal sin
travelled across the black emptyness illuminating the edge
divided the crack and creating the Ledge
a birthplace of stars and various nebulae
that showed the contrast bewteen the wholesome love and to die
and split and generated a thought in the blue
electricity discharged and split into two
one ying and the other yang
angellic voices they rejoiced and sang
a genesis in space that ribbed the sexes
without any knowledge of love they wandered perplexed
in a primeval innocent garden, naked and free
they slipped past the gaurdian angels and discovered the golden tree
with golden fruit juicy and full of hormones and glands
exciting certain erotic body centres and the rapid movement of hands
fumbling and futtering amongst the grains of sands
planets created and fixed mathematically in space
centered around the concept of the divine human race
a matrix of spheres around the blue planet earth
to be populated in the future as the earth gardeners gain technological birth
eventually to discover the crack and the end of time
on the ledge created on the end of this rhyme
Georges

Dear George

An exotic, erotic Matrix
Linked and so complete
The slender lines of poetry
Where mind and paper meet

George, the Gothic Greek
George, the Geomatrian
George, the Great

Ben

Ben, a love matrix ever entwined.............sounds like DNA.
Georges

Hi George~

This one is very good, George. The 'cosmic egg' analogy sounds Zoroastrian. Have you read anything about Zarathustra or the Zend Avesta?

Do you read your work aloud to yourself to check the rhythm and flow? I find it helps to find where a different number of syllables (alternative word) may work better in the measure. The exception,of course, is when you want a line to 'jar' for impact or affect -- to be used judiciously,or the effect is lost.

A good thesaurus is invaluable (not to mention a dictionary )

~Makera

Makera, being half scottish and irish................i write from the heart, nae time for books of reference.............it stops the flow of creativity.
georges

Ah Georgie~

A kindred spirit! I'm half Scot, wi' some Irish on my Aussie mother's side.
So you'll no' get off so easilly(sic). Language is to an aspiring poet what paints & brushes are to an artist. Don't disdain the tools of your chosen art; to do so is to limit the scope of your creative expression -- let alone the quality. Because human language is so limiting when trying to express the infinite reaches of the Mind, we need every word & nuance we can find

It's hard to know what someone is trying to convey if their word choices don't fully match their intent. I struggle to achieve that all the time. You gotta try, at least.

Scots can be stubborn, I know, but ultimately pragmatic.

Now go use that dictionary, ya stubborn bugger!

~Makera

PS Why does 'Bangor' sound like a place in India? Where is it and what's the origin of the name?

I believe there's a Bangor, Maine, but if so, I doubt that would be George's reference.

It's Bangor, N.Ireland
A seaside town which is a dormitory for Belfast.
It's Irish Gaelic, that the name comes from.
Georges

....and there may not even be a Bangor, Maine. It may be something that just rhymes with it......or not .

There is a restaurant in Bangor, ME called Taste Of India.
at 68 Main Street.

Hi Babz ~

I'm so glad to hear that there is a Bangor, Maine . Maine just immediately followed when I said "Bangor" in my head. The restaurant sure sounds like a good one. Your giving the street address is a good sign, too !

~ Lizzytysh

Not forgetting Bangor in North Wales.

Aye, Byron and there's Bangor-on-the-Ledge
Georges

Makera,
maybe you were you thinking of Bangalore, for the India connection.?