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Ode To The Militant Wing

You guard honor well
And defend our faith
When one with less skill
Does a poem create

With Taleban torture
They will pay your price
And then they will think
More than once, maybe twice

Our literature's pure
With guards at the gate
Our standards are high
What can rebels create?

I lower my eye
I must not be seen
I prostrate to your poisonous
Pedagogy

Sean

(dedicated to Alice Miller, Psychiatrist/Author ... “For Your Own Good”)

Reading Alice Miller was the first thing that put me on the way back to (relative) sanity, Sean. She's a great writer.

G'day Sean and Diane,

Alice Miller also had an impact on my life. I read 3 or 4 of her books. Her writings should be compulsory for all students completing their final year at school. I was angry last night and very saddened. It concerned my dog. So I wrote a scramble. And as I wrote, I was compelled at the end to repeat some lines. I think reading your post, Sean, reawakened the insight Alice Miller gave me 18 years ago or so. It is 7.09 am,. At 10.52 am I officially turn 40. And, though I have tried for many years, there is still Banished Knowledge in my soul. Here is my poem:

Fuck your...

precious ticket to cohen
ditto to dylan
mobile phone
adolph hitler
hallmark card
inter continental ballistic missile
stock market collapse
oil price
oil sheik
marilyn manson
international space station
pyramid
eiffel tower
great wall of fucken china
grand prix
world series cricket
maggie fucken thatcher
brad fucken pitt
paris fucken hilton
beatles
superman
trade ratification
more trade ratification
westminster system
lawyer and accountant
politics
fragile religion
cold psychology
mt everest
paradise
bikini clad hollywood bimbo
smack cocaine alcohol
lying parent
lying parent
lying parent
lying parent
lying parent

because the vet thinks Buddy has cancer

Hello Boss
and Happy Birthday
you young thing you!

Alice Miller's first book was "For Your Own Good". It was a masterpiece. I think it was the most important book that I ever read explaining what one needs to know to be a psychotherapist or even to receive psychotherapy. She was asked about her feelings regarding "For Your own Good" a number of years ago. She said that she was very happy with the book except for a mistake that she made. Her mistake, according to her, was encouraging people to become "angry" as a necessary part of the healing process. She realised later that this was a mistake. There is never supportable justification for anger, even when one is abused to that extent.

Modern psychotherapy unfortunately still often makes this mistake.

Is Buddy OK? I heard that when many old people die from a variety of causes they discover that they had cancer too. It seems that some bodies manage to survive with it for long periods, like a problematic marriage.

Believe it or not what Buddy needs most is for you to have a calm peaceful and happy mind.
I'm no vet. I don't have a dog. I do have a wild pet lizard or two, but I don't know when they have cancer. They come and go. (when they can't fit in under the door any more... or when they have cancer)

All good things

Sean

Please update me about Buddy. I will be wanting to know how he is.

Hi Adam,

Don't why but I always remember you talking about taking Buddy for a walk on the beach one Christmas a few years back. I know he is your companion in life. That's potentially devastating news.

You've had so much to deal with in your time, mate.

The honest way you write makes it easy to love you.

((((((((((Adam)))))))))

And, even though you don't feel like celebrating, Birthday wishes for the big 40!!

Love,

Diane

Boss~

Dogs are the best.
The best friends.
The best vehicle for our unconditional love...like a lifeline when everything else is crap.

They choose us. And we choose in exchange for the delight of having them in our lives the prospect that we will one sad day have to say goodbye. It is almost inevitable.

You'll be okay. Buddy is counting on that.

L

Adam, but I have recently been interested in list poems, which makes your poem even more interesting to me, being such a thing.

Buddy.
Adam's buddy.

There is never supportable justification for anger

I don't agree with that, Sean. Anger is a natural emotion when you've been mistreated or suffered a loss. Holding onto it and 'taking it out' on other people/yourself is the unhealthy thing. And expressing anger often brings out the unexpressed sorrow for what you lost.

Diane wrote:

There is never supportable justification for anger

I don't agree with that, Sean. Anger is a natural emotion when you've been mistreated or suffered a loss. Holding onto it and 'taking it out' on other people/yourself is the unhealthy thing. And expressing anger often brings out the unexpressed sorrow for what you lost.

Hi Diane,

Nice to see you all the way down here in the poetry section. Saw your name and
opened this thread. I agree with your comments to Sean. Also, sometimes, when
people don't accept whatever the feelings are as existent, they become buried or
exist unacknowledged and get topped off with an unhealthy dose of shame.
When that happens... not good. This isn't to encourage anger, internalized or
outwardly directed, though there are times that it serves a good purpose, such
as adrenalizing a strident response to injustice that is appropriate. Of course,
wallking around angry isn't a joyous way to live.

I said that in reference to Alice Miller, supporting her view (in retrospect) that she had made a mistake encouraging anger as a response to violent, cruel and vicious militaristic parenting.

I don't have time now to explain why I personally feel the same way, but I will try to do so later today, as I do believe it is extremely important.

AGT

Sean

Hello Boss,
I am sorry to hear the news about Buddy, My dog had been diagnosed with a leaking heart valve and given 6 - 8 weeks to live. We were blessed to have him for another year and he was healthy till the end. My thoughts are with you.

Also, I, too, believe that anger is just one of the emotions that make us human. I believe that I need to feel and then express my anger in order to get through it. I am in a group that is studying "facing the Fire and expressing anger appropriately" and "the missing peace" by John Lee. Writing is one way of expressing that anger in a safe way and in a way that doesn't alienate others, sharing it in that way can make people feel closer. Jill

Sean's view on anger:

First I should say that I used to be a very angry person (for conventionally justifiable reasons). I behaved like an angry person, entered psychotherapy, became a psychotherapist, became an angry psychotherapist/ psychotherapee, encouraged others to do the same and only very much later arrived at, for me, a clear, accurate, and acceptable understanding of anger.

To start with I had to learn the difference between wrath and anger. Wrath is an appropriate, forceful response designed to minimize or prevent suffering.. A good example is the reaction of a mother when her child tries to put a fork in an electric socket; she screams and takes whatever forceful actions are required, not for her benefit, but for the benefit of another person. Anger usually involves the desire/wish to cause suffering to another person.

The holy beings of this world, in my opinion, do not allow themselves to experience/express anger; the people I would suggest in this group are people like Jesus (especially on the cross) Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Leonard Cohen, Leonard's Roshi, and the many special beings that I know well and that you may not know. Of course I cannot offer this as evidence in a court of law, I offer only my guess here; I simply cannot imagine these people in that state. I can imagine them all wrathful, when necessary! If anyone had a right to justifiable anger it was Jesus of Nazareth, when he was on the cross, but, to my knowledge there is no suggestion of this at all. He did get wrathful with the market people in the temple, but that was appropriate I am sure, but it was probably misunderstood by many as righteous anger.

Repression of anger, of course is psychotic, as would repression of any other delusion like jealousy, envy, avarice etc. This does not mean that anger is either necessary or justifiable. If it manifests it needs to be eliminated, like any other delusion, usually by practicing patience.

Righteous anger is the reason why our planet is like an insane asylum. Take the middle east for example, the Israeli/Palestinian shared psychotic madness. If you listen carefully to proponents of the Palestinian/Israeli sides you will understand that they believe that they have their righteous anger. They both can't be right. This can be extrapolated to the larger Western/Muslim conflict; and then extrapolated to the world in general. Righteous anger will not solve any human problem. Patience, tolerance, forgiveness, generosity, kindness, love, these are all powerful forces capable of resolving complex issues, not anger. Anger worsens the situation.

Patience is the main antidote to anger.

This applies to microcosmic relationships as well.

Some people point to martial arts as an example of anger being beneficial. Any competent Martial arts expert will tell you that it is a liability. The states of mind that one needs to win do not involve anger. Anger is well known to cause irrationality, errors in judgment, foolhardiness, silly risk taking.

Anger also is a spectrum of minds. At a minor level it begins with impatience, irritation. At the extreme end we find aggression, rage, The place that it can be easily managed is in the early stages of impatience, irritation. Most people don't even view these as minds of anger, only full blown rage is regarded as 'anger', and this is a big problem. Many people permit themselves to be passive aggressive or sarcastic, because these are not identified as negative, angry states of mind. In my opinion we need a zero tolerance for 'anger' in all of it's degrees of manifestation. I see it as a poison.

It is often pointed out that the expression of anger allows one to tap into their sadness. It is not necessary to access the sadness this way, it can also be accessed directly. I remember many people saying 'I am not angry' when it was obvious to everyone else in the group that they were, so of course one's anger needs to be pointed to but not encouraged or viewed as something good, or necessary. They need to understand that they are angry and, why they are angry, and then to stop being angry. If they are sad they need to know that they are sad, know why they are sad, and stop being sad. This does not mean at all that sadness or anger are beneficial states of mind to be encouraged, accessed, or cultivated, like the virtuous human qualities. Here is where I believe modern psychotherapy has caused many problems and misunderstandings, and has too often actually interfered with the healing of relationships.

I do not pretend to have my own anger completely subdued. I find myself too often indulging in sarcasm, permitting impatience and subtle grumblings of hostility in my mind.

I realize that my opinion on anger is not very poplar, especially with those who have been schooled in the modern psychotherapy world; but there you have it; never justifiable, requiring an attitude of zero-tolerance, like drinking and driving.

Also ask yourself how you feel when you are with an angry person? I personally do not like the experience at all!

AGT

Sean

Hi Sean,

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I agree with you on most of what you've
expressed. If you'd like me to respond to anything in particular, for whatever
reason, let me know. Lots of people can't recognize anger, in themselves,
at times (not just the passive aggressives) because of their own blinders.
Helpful can be mindfulness practices that nuance awareness of anger cues
in the body (with a skilled teacher), as you'd probably agree. There are
practices to soften the anger (usually at first around the edges) and to
facilitate more wholesome states, and sustained Metta can do wonders.

Hi Boss,

I feel for you with the veterinary situation with your dog. I never owned a dog.
Owners of good dogs who have good owners share a real trust. I did own one
particular snake for about eight or nine years. My friends found it for me; it
was an adult snake, very large and wild. For about the first two weeks, every time I
handled it, it was like a livewire. Then one moment, he instantly tamed.
From that moment on, he and I knew that we trusted each other. It had
a brain, maybe the size of a large pea or something similar, but it knew
and I knew that he knew. And though it wasn't a dog capable of real affection,
that bond of trust, alone, really mattered to the two of us. It eventually got
cancer which the vet said wasn't treatable and I, after a while, opted to euthenize it as I
had no sure way to know if it was suffering. I cried. Take care.

G'day Steven,

Pets are not essential, anger is.
One day we won't have pets - they will be free.
The day Humanity denies its anger we will languish in a cage.
Can you remember when you were 4? Did you get angry?
And how did your parents/guardians react?


Peace