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I remember well
the hunger
rising from the hunger,
romance and relationship
filled with expectation
and deep desperation
devotion to distraction
but from what?
constant wanting
experience of a peak
some thing I couldn't keep.

I saw a movie once
“The Hill”
with Sean Connery
(well worth a watch!)
about punishment,
orchestrated torture
with a British twist
for desert foot soldiers
who had misbehaved
emergency remedial boot camp
for reactionary types
(like communist re-education)
they were made to climb a hill
in full battle gear
in full desert heat
in the searing sun
the same hill
and then to descend
and climb again
and again, and again
and again and again
all day
every day
every week
every month
the same hill
well past the point
of exhaustion
until they were broken
and if they survived
being broken
they were useful again
for a while
on the front

(sounds (to me) like a love story... 'one of my love stories', I should say)

Sean

Hi Daka,

Another "Hill," here. There was one in "Happy Hunters." Relationships can heal or
hurt or point to where healing is needed... Never saw the movie you spoke of
(it is one that I'd like to see), but the exercise reminds me of Sisyphus' ordeal,
a bit. But, unlike an exercise in futility, probably every experience we undergo has within
it a lesson that can be helpful, even when it leads to knowledge that we can prevail in
difficult situations -- creating an awareness, perhaps, that we are more
capable than we think.

Hello Steven

You are quite right about the challenges of life pointing to learning opportunities, there is always something to learn, there is always that 'crack' to be experienced, revealed, understood.

That particular poem manifested as a result of a friend describing her "Hill"-like relationship drama. This caused me to reflect on my relationship experiences and then the movie "The Hill".

It seems that there is the odd non-"Hill"-like relationship out there, apparently healthy and mutually satisfying and non-dramatic. I rejoice in the good fortune that those people have to experience such a relationship. I did not have such good fortune.

I hope the poem doesn't sound overly pessimistic, I was just focusing on the 'Calvary'-like truth that was my experience and that of others. I think Leonard summed up the correct attitude to have towards relationships in his song, Hallelujah.... the 'cold and broken Hallelujah'.

I don't know anything of

Sisyphus

. I suspect it was a 'Greek Tragedy. I will google it.

cheers

Sean

One of the most interesting hill movies that I ever saw was "The Thin Red Line"

an interesting thing about the movie was the amount that was filmed and never used including the following actors : Billy Bob Thornton, Martin Sheen, Gary Oldman, Jason Patric, Bill Pullman, Lukas Haas, Viggo Mortensen and Mickey Rourke who acted in the movie, but their scenes were eventually removed. Reportedly, the first assembled cut took seven months to edit and ran three and a half hours, with Thornton contributing three hours of narrative voice-over material, none of which was ultimately used.

Another country heard from.

Hi Daka

Sisyphus - Features in Greek mythology. A mortal - a nasty piece by all accounts. He abused Zeus' friendship by broadcasting tales of his (Z's) secret sexual escapades. Pluto was instructed to bring him to Tartarus (the part of the Underworld reserved for really evil people). He tricked Pluto and made him his prisoner, causing havoc because no one could die without Pluto to guide them to the Underworld. For this he was punished by being made to roll a boulder up a steep hill. Each time he got to the top it rolled back down again so he could never complete his task. He's still doing it.

Sometimes he is confused with Tantalus, also a mortal, punished for trying to fool the Gods. He invited them to a banquet and dished up his son to test if they would know what they were eating. He too ended up in Tartarus - his fate was to have food and drink placed near him but just out of reach. Each time he reached out it moved further away. He continues to be 'tantalized'.

Thanks for the wonderful new understanding of 'tantalizing'!

I googled Sisyphus, they referred to Tantalus, but not to tantalizing!

Sean

Oh, to Jack, thanks for the recommendation (Thin Red Line), I will see it when i can!

"It seems that there is the odd non-"Hill"-like relationship out there, apparently healthy and mutually satisfying and non-dramatic. I rejoice in the good fortune that those people have to experience such a relationship."

Hi Daka,

Such relationships are rare.

Dear daka,

Sometimes a man is forced into asceticism. He does not seek it like old Siddhartha or you. It is thrust upon him.
It can be any man, down on his luck, religious or irreligious. Wealthy or poor.

We, all of us, are running up and down the 'hill' - even the 'enlightened'
It has something to do with 13.7 billion years of existence.

There is no escape from desire/suffering.
As there is no escape from joy.

The hill is but prelude
to the feast.

Adam

Hi Daka.

I liked this part:

until they were broken
and if they survived
being broken
they were useful again

The trouble I have with this poem is that it doesn't seem like it came from you. It starts with some Cohen lines, a little rant, then summarizes a movie. Would you be willing to write the poem that is about your love story? With all the slopes & curves that make up a woman, both corporeally & metaphorically, I think it could make a more interesting poem, and one that would have to come more intimately from you.

Dear Manna

Thank you for your comments. I agree with most of your critique. It was a sloppy effort, careless, lacking much and only offering a few redeeming qualities. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have been taken to task by one of the more gentle members of "The Militant Wing"!!!

I did try to give you what you asked for, and I will keep trying, but there was obviously some major resistance. That moment of poetic truth simply has not arrived.

This is the best I could come up with on short notice with a reasonable amount of effort.

Dear Susan

I received an invitation
To visit you again
To tell the tale
Of you and me
About our hill and vale
I was asked to speak
About the slopes, about the curves
But I don't have the heart
And I don't have the nerve
Our heaven became hell
Searing cold, and horrid pain
I'll be happy if I never ever
See that place again

Sean

Hi Sean

I'm glad that you were able to visit heaven first before landing in hell. Maybe some places are best avoided, unless there is something to learn there.

Cate

Perhaps hell is the crack in an ordinary being's heaven.

Sean

I don't know how long ago this took place, Sean. Seems like you still have some bitter feelings about it, and if this exercise is causing you pain, please know that's not my intention. Maybe you're still climbing this woman. If that's true, are you climbing up or climbing down?

or maybe he is climbing inside where everything looks daka.