leonardcohenforum.com

linda_lakeside wrote:Dear mr. tom d. stiller:

Yes, yes.

that's exactly the bit I got to in your epic short film "One Lady, 2 Lakes and Three Horses", you were just saying "yes, yes". and Tom was saying "oh, not again! can't a man play snooker in peace?"

I think Linda's record may have a skip in it.

C2:

May I share a a bit of my painful past with you? I can only hope you will understand.

Being burdened with the name 'Linda' has not been easy. Ever since that Lovelace person hit the scene, me and every other Linda on the planet have been the butt (oh, that would be cheap) of many bad jokes, puns and all manner of verbal abuse. Just because, in the innocent 50's, my parents, not gifted with vision into the future, named me Linda, my life has been a nightmare of smutty jokes, innuendo and just plain pain.

I'm opening up to you, C2, as I know that it must have been torture for you growing up with the name of Critic. I'll bet your little friends in the schoolyard taunted you relentlessly. I don't know what kinds of evil spins they put on your name but just being called Critic, Critic, Critic must have driven you near madness. You see my use of the word 'near' therefore giving you the benefit of the doubt - I'm sure you're not what they say you are. I suspect your father was also called Critic (hence the 2). I hope he guided you well. To be strong, as he was not (most likely). Should you have any offspring, I hope you had the foresight to not call them Critic 3, 4, etc., particularly in the case of a girl.

Do you see my distress? Do you feel empathy? Can you find it in your heart (?) to lay off the whorehouse humour? Please and thank you.

Yours with deep feeling,

Miss Linda Lakeside

linda_lakeside wrote:C2:

May I share a a bit of my painful past with you? I can only hope you will understand.

Being burdened with the name 'Linda' has not been easy. Ever since that Lovelace person hit the scene, me and every other Linda on the planet have been the butt (oh, that would be cheap) of many bad jokes, puns and all manner of verbal abuse. Just because, in the innocent 50's, my parents, not gifted with vision into the future, named me Linda, my life has been a nightmare of smutty jokes, innuendo and just plain pain.

I'm opening up to you, C2, as I know that it must have been torture for you growing up with the name of Critic. I'll bet your little friends in the schoolyard taunted you relentlessly. I don't know what kinds of evil spins they put on your name but just being called Critic, Critic, Critic must have driven you near madness. You see my use of the word 'near' therefore giving you the benefit of the doubt - I'm sure you're not what they say you are. I suspect your father was also called Critic (hence the 2). I hope he guided you well. To be strong, as he was not (most likely). Should you have any offspring, I hope you had the foresight to not call them Critic 3, 4, etc., particularly in the case of a girl.

Do you see my distress? Do you feel empathy? Can you find it in your heart (?) to lay off the whorehouse humour? Please and thank you.

Yours with deep feeling,

Miss Linda Lakeside

point well made, point taken. enough of the LL jokes.

yours sincerely

critic2 (originally critic1 but I forgot my password and couldn't recover it!)

This is MOST interesting.

YdF: have you any alter-egos of your own?

I was interested to read that you estimated the true number of individuals in this forum at 15. THat's a lot of alter-egos per person. Sounds too much like hard work!

Ok, this has been going on long enough and I've been studiously avoiding it, but if no one else will step up to be the judge, then I will reluctantly volunteer. My reluctance is based solely on my credentials so anyone entering can safely say-"he doesn't know what he is talking about."

There is now snow on the ground here and I must go cross-country skiing whenever the opportunity arises. So I may not hold to strict timeframes for completion of the judging.

Linda Lakeside, I will PM my email address to you so you can forward the poems. Do people here have a preference for starting and ending and am I supposed to decide the "topic?"

Joe

Joe Way wrote:Ok, this has been going on long enough and I've been studiously avoiding it, but if no one else will step up to be the judge, then I will reluctantly volunteer. My reluctance is based solely on my credentials so anyone entering can safely say-"he doesn't know what he is talking about."

There is now snow on the ground here and I must go cross-country skiing whenever the opportunity arises. So I may not hold to strict timeframes for completion of the judging.

Linda Lakeside, I will PM my email address to you so you can forward the poems. Do people here have a preference for starting and ending and am I supposed to decide the "topic?"

Joe

yes, I have a preference for starting *and* ending or the contest will never actually happen.

C2:

Can I ask you a very straight forward question and get in response a very straight forward answer, pls?

I know I could go digging in the cellar for all the stuff that happened in the last comp. You were there. Approx. how long did the process take?

linda_lakeside wrote:C2:

Can I ask you a very straight forward question and get in response a very straight forward answer, pls?

I know I could go digging in the cellar for all the stuff that happened in the last comp. You were there. Approx. how long did the process take?

from idea to keyboard- 3 minutes
from keyboard to forum- 1 minute
from thread to start of comp- about 2/3 weeks
from start of comp to baby trolls remembering previous engagements and disappearing - 0.001 seconds
time allowed for entries - about 8 days
judging- about 6 days
posting all the results- about 3 days
from results announced to baby trolls starting conspiracy theories- 0.001 seconds

this time around there need be less discussion about how we run it. just pm the reigning champ. Lizz and she will satisfy your every need.

But note to Joe, it is best to publish every entry in a separate thread with your results as it is easier to follow the crits. and comments.

As before every entry is anonymous as it reaches the judge and you can enter as many times as you want in as many and varied styles as you choose.

During the comp. period it is hoped that the trolls will again go somewhere quiet to sulk as they did last time, but if any crawl over to the forum it is more important than ever to ignore them.

That's excellent news, Joe . . . let the game begin.

Linda ~ Any help I can be to you, I'll be glad to help you.

Lizzy~

You can be assured of my further correspondence!

Linda,

The poetry comp is just the tip of the iceberg. Click on Critic2's profile and look at his posts since he joined. You will see what a generous kind soul he has been to those who have posted poems here in the poetry thread. Of course he has since edited some of the terrible things he has said about the hapless writers who did not come up to his standards. But you can still get the gist of what Critic2's personality is really like.

He accuses YdF of trying to run you off the board. But you are still here. Ask him where Else is. Critic2 with his hateful, unkind, spiteful words ran off a new member who had just posted a poem for the first time. Don't be taken in by Critic2.

linda_lakeside wrote:Lizzy~

You can be assured of my further correspondence!

Lizzy, charge her! You sweated blood as the first official interthingy, and LL wants it for free, ha!

If Lizzy can charge me, I guess if follows that you guys should be paying us for all the time and effort Joe and I are putting in. Not to mention the heartache that will possibly follow.

So, the only solution seems to be - this is a new concept to some, perhaps - sharing.