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I think there are two kinds of experts, the book read experts who read all about an illness and can tell you at the drop of a hand the progression of the illness and the real experts who go thru the illness and their families.

I watched someone I loved slip into dementia. To see an intelligent lovely person become a shell is one of the worst things you can witness. It did change the way I reacted amongst people with fragile minds. Anyone who works in the field of mental health has my utmost respect it is an unknown quantity and could affect each and every one of us if not as an individual then a close family member.

I agree, Paula, you can't take away from either one of them. Both are valuable to any given situation.

Love,
Lizzie

Rachel~
It was not an "idealistic" philosophy I developed, it was a 'survival strategy', pure and simple...that worked! Very practical, really. As I also said, it does not mean that you 'give up' on anything or anyone. I never stop "caring", I just don't let the things I cannot control have any power over my sense of worth, well-being or faith in the All-Knowing-Loving-Force we call God.
The only way we can ever change the perceived wrongs of the world is to first create the peace within ourselves that we want to see 'out there', or in others. Sounds like an 'idealistic' theory, doesn't it; but it is an immutable fact. We all need an ideal to strive for; when we do, and really persevere, we can attain it.
The pain and scars of our experiences never really go away - we just learn, in time, to sublimate them. They become our 'mementos', 'badges of courage' if you will. Kept in a hidden 'compartment' we only 'show' them when we feel a fellow 'battle-weary vet' may need that touch of empathy and solidarity.
(This was the reason I posted Emily Dickinson's poem, "There is a pain - so utter -" for Bonnie, under her poem: "It Still Hurts", some weeks ago.)

memento mori - memento vivere

Love,
Makera

Thanks for your responses, Byron and Makera,
Firstly, I'm not at all convinced that I look like Nigella! (though it is preferable to previous comparisons people have made with Harry Potter - this occurs less often since I grew my hair). Not that I have anything against the lovely Nigella, just don't like cookery programmes and particularly the rather sensual nature of hers.

Makera, I'm really glad you found a life's philosophy which works for you - I still haven't (am an agnostic). I find it very difficult to distance myself from the wrongs of the world and am far too critical (of both 'self' and 'other') to believe in any ideal at all. But it is my incessant criticism which keeps me sane and happy, I think.

I really liked your metaphor of empathy, Byron. One of my absolute favourite Leonard Cohen lines is from Avalanche: 'Your pain is no credantial here' etc. Sometimes I wish I had a tee-shirt with that written on it, although I know it seems a very bleak and uncaring slogan.

Biff, baff, ping, pang, poooo.....
Natt, nit, not, none, noooo........

Now dear reader stop. right now, and look at your screen...........

Look at it again but let your thoughts have a bit of a wander........

Carry on wandering for about 5 seconds...........

Now consider this. Who where you listening to while you were wandering? "OOh look," you said just now, "Byron has spelt 'were' wrong."
You sat and looked at your screen, and I allowed you to let your thoughts wander off on their own.
You heard those thoughts inside your head. Yes?
Who were you listening to?
Was it your self? Was it a string of thoughts which trickled into your hearing ?
Where did those thoughts trickle from?
What the hell is Byron going on about???
I am asking you to stop and listen to some thoughts inside your head.
Are they your thoughts? If so how did you create them?
What is it that makes your 'self,' hear those thoughts?
Who is your self? Is your self your own creation?
Why didn't you exist 150 years ago? Or 150 years from now?
You cannot answer that.
The 'Self' which is 'you' dear reader, exists in this space and time. You are absolutely unique. Utterly unique. Not to be replicated anywhere or in any other time.
Your 'Self' is here and now. Why?
You do not know where your thoughts come from inside your mind.
You do not know what happens to your thoughts when your body ceases to 'be.'
You will die one day. At some day in the future you will wake on what will be the last day of your life.
So what happens to the 'self' which has no tangible source for its thoughts, contained within what we call a skull?
Brain is animal matter. What is thought? Where does thought come from?
Who exactly are you when we take away the skull, the brain, the animal matter? You are your thoughts. But where exactly do they come from?
Top scientists cannot trace the paths of your thoughts as they progress through and around your 'self.' If they could, would they be able to listen-in to those thoughts?
So, dear reader, who are you? Why are you? When are you?
Perhaps we need to have a 'spiritual' section to discuss such things?

Byron~
That was indeed inspired. Speaking of which, and synchronicity, I had been thinking of posting the following Emily Dickinson poem here, when I logged in; then I saw your post -- and there was the cue!

The Brain - is wider than the Sky -
For - put them side by side -
The one the other will contain
With ease - and You - beside -

The Brain is deeper than the sea -
For - hold them - Blue to Blue -
The one the other will absorb -
As Sponges - Buckets - do -

The Brain is just the weight of God -
For - Heft them - Pound for Pound -
And they will differ - if they do -
As Syllable from Sound -

c. 1862 ~ Emily Dickinson ~

Love,
Makera

PS. Rachel, being 'agnostic' is not a bad place to start - meaning you 'don't know'; as opposed to 'atheist' - meaning denial of (disbelief in) the existence of God. An open mind is a good thing.

Makera It is so kind of you to explain the difference between agnostic and atheist I am sure Rachel had no idea what it meant and just typed the first word that came in to her head and even if she knew the meaning there are bound to be others on this forum in need of an explaination

How dare you explain to the poster the meaning of the words they have just posted. Who the hell do you think you are to preach your "gospel" at people. I am agnostic if I wanted to hear the word of God I would opt for a religious site. You are the computer equivalent of the Seventh Day Adventist/Born Again turning up on your doorstep, foot in door, uninvited but in full flow. If you believe great but don't cram it down our throats.

I don't really know what to say now!
I would like to point out though that being an agnostic is an informed decision and I cannot imagine ever beginning to believe in a deity of any kind. I realised I was an agnostic after doing some study of the philosophy of religion and deciding that none of the arguments concerning the existence of God were convincing - though that is not to say they are not coherent, not at all.
Either some sort of 'creator' or 'first mover' exists, or it doesn't. Personally, I do not feel in a position to decide between the two.
'Agnostic' does not only mean 'undecided', it can also mean the distancing of oneself from the whole notion of belief in something, the existence of which cannot be proven. I do not believe or disbelieve in the existence of extra-terrestrials either. And in general, I don't pose myself questions I cannot answer very often!

I would like to point out though that being an agnostic is an informed decision and I cannot imagine ever beginning to believe in a deity of any kind. I realised I was an agnostic after doing some study of the philosophy of religion and deciding that none of the arguments concerning the existence of God were convincing - though that is not to say they are not coherent, not at all.
Either some sort of 'creator' or 'first mover' exists, or it doesn't. Personally, I do not feel in a position to decide between the two.
'Agnostic' does not only mean 'undecided', it can also mean the distancing of oneself from the whole notion of belief in something, the existence of which cannot be proven. I do not believe or disbelieve in the existence of extra-terrestrials either. And in general, I don't pose myself questions I cannot answer very often!

Brilliant answer !! I was never satisfied with definition of "agnostic" but this is more satisfying "distancing of oneself......"

Aww, thanks Kush I didn't mean 'oops' like the icon says, I'm really blushing!
Strictly speaking I'm cheating a bit to use this in my definition of agnostic, as it really means I'm a materialist - only believing in what I can perceive with my senses. But I should stress that I don't find belief in a deity (or multiple or pantheistic deities or whatever) in any way absurd or illogical. Belief and non-belief are equally logical, in my opinion.

"Belief and non-belief are equally logical, in my opinion."

Excellent concept , Rachel .

~ Lizzy

So folks, what caused the 'causality' ?
Plato and Socrates are alive and well and living in two seperate universes, or a mutiverse ???

Yep, and though I really like discussing such things I wouldn't want to bore everyone here with them. Or shall I post my 4000 word essay on the subject?
(That really was a joke by the way, I'm certainly not fishing, it's just a boringly standard undergraduate essay on the logic or illogic of theological arguments)

Alright Byron, I don't know too much about Plato and Socrates I admit, and I'm not entirely sure what you mean, are you talking about the chain of infinite regress and modal logic?

Or, more likely, responding to someone else's post on a different subject entirely?

Changed my mind.