never-ending gallery

[LisaLCFan]

...norway is going back to normal after easter, everything is opening again - it's finished....

Not exactly! I was shocked to read your pronouncement (it sounded like something Donald Trump would say -- you really ought to rethink using him as your role model), aghast that a country would be so utterly negligent, and so I had to check for myself and read the announcement by Norway's officials to see what they actually said. In fact, this is what was reported:

“We have now got control of the virus, so we can open up the community little by little. We will do it together, controlled and over time,” said Solberg [Norway's PM] at a press conference. However, she warned Norwegians against complacency: “The contagion curve has flattened out. Together we have reached the goal that each infected person does not infect more than one other person. It is pleasing, but just a snapshot. We can't lower our guard. We are still far from half-time.”

Therefore, Geoffrey, may I suggest that you read the fine-print (and the bold print, and all the print) before jumping to such hasty conclusions and then casually spreading misinformation about such a serious situation (because goodness knows who might be reading your posts and thinking that you're right...). And, be careful out there -- things will not be "back to normal" next week (nor probably for several months).


On other subjects, at least you got this right:

i made a colourful little sticker for you to put on some of your CDs, mike, in case you get visitors who have never heard of mr cohen. you won't need this kind of thing on your zappa albums....

[Geoffrey]

that could be right, lisa - let's wait and see. my grandchildren start school again on 20th april, hairdressers and manicurists are opening up, lots of things. i won't be here at that time, circumstances demand that i disappear for a short while.
it was very nice to get a response from you, although words like 'shocked', 'stunned', etc. cannot be taken literally. wishing you well

[solongleonard]

A long time ago, years before Jeffrey was born, and even before his first fight against Muhammad Ali, he realised his sculpting career wasn't working out, probably due to his insistence in using Cassius Clay, as a result of his poor hearing when the shop person recommended Ceramic clay. He didn't have enough money anyway and would march uo and down the fjord shouting "I want Cassius Clay". The word got back to Louisville and the World Champion began to get uncharacteristically riled. He offered out to Jeffers , "he thinks he's so great, he be knocked out in 8", Jeffrey, who at that stage of his Life was potentially English, hit back in the press, "I say old Clay, I think perchance we will meet some day, you see the thing is my place the ring is, Mohammed you are right up my Ali". Emboldened by his own wit, Jeffers commenced to campaign for a match against his new rival. Following his predictable defeat after only 3 seconds, Wren switched arts and became a fantasy-animal-drawer, this early effort showing his unsuppressed fury

[Geoffrey]

you stole that picture from somebody else on the internet, mike. if you really are interested i have some old drawings from when i was at school, so let me know. meanwhile, and as i have nothing else at the moment, here is a page blackened by some simple pencil scribbles.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
"you thought that it could never happen to all the people that you became;
your body lost in legend - the beast so very tame."

[solongleonard]

I STOLE that picture? That is Scandalatum Magnatum and so so wrong. Stealing demands the essential mental element of "dishonesty". This image was indeed borrowed from the Intranet, and was indeed drawn by an artist called Geoffrey. A mere conky-dance? I rather think not! I think you should be proud, it showed early promise. Well done, indeed.

I am unclear if you are back in boxing training these days, but very good luck if you are.

I see you referred to me as "Michael" in your last post. Why?? I have no objection to the name but I was Christened "solong" after a Doctor's examination. It would be weird if my name is changed now, as I approach my mid-30's.

[Geoffrey]

I STOLE that picture? That is Scandalatum Magnatum and so so wrong. Stealing demands the essential mental element of "dishonesty". This image was indeed borrowed from the Intranet, and was indeed drawn by an artist called Geoffrey. A mere conky-dance? I rather think not! I think you should be proud, it showed early promise. Well done, indeed.

I am unclear if you are back in boxing training these days, but very good luck if you are.

I see you referred to me as "Michael" in your last post. Why?? I have no objection to the name but I was Christened "solong" after a Doctor's examination. It would be weird if my name is changed now, as I approach my mid-30's.

no need to capitalise christened, solong. no need to use those big letters at all, actually - so old fashioned. you really should learn to write norwegian, you know. the apostrophe is never employed, simply not needed. i mention this because i see it is sometimes a problem for you. (forgive me for pointing it out, but it's not necessary in mid-30's). don't take my teaching too much to heart. your writing does show a lot of promise - so well done you too
----------------------------------
draw us near, and bind us tight - all your children here in their rags of light

[solongleonard]

Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres

and so is Geoffrey's mind

1. his quick Googling

2. his memory of English lessons he nearly attended when an Eton scholar - the first Swede before Julian As'sange to achieve a full 'scholarship!

3. his inherent uncertainty on matter's'' of grammar



I remember once when I met his mormor, (Swedish for maternal grammar ) and she asked me to check his English in his first short abridged novella. He had already consulted me about the strange plot concerning him using 2 Colt handguns to shoot at Leonard Cohen's collection of vinyl singles to celebrate the day Geoffrey was half way into his 5th Decayed.

Oh boy, did he get himself into an Eton Mess! (Wikipedia Eton mess is a traditional English dessert consisting of a mixture of strawberries, meringue, and whipped cream.[1] First mentioned in print in 1893, it is commonly believed to originate from Eton College and is served at the annual cricket match against the pupils of Harrow School.)

Here are his early efforts for the opening lines

1. Geoffrey, midway through his 40's and still strange, aimed his '45s at the singer' 4'5's'

2. RANDY WAS STILL RANDY INTO HIS 4'0S AND DESPERATELY WANTED TO FONDLE THE BREASTS OF LEONARD'S COHEN'S GIRLFRIENDS''', EACH TIT WAS WELL INTO IT'S S’IZE '40S AND WAS REALLY FIRM, LIKE A PINK MARSHMALLOW. SHE DID NOT EXPECT RANDY TO SHOOT HIS GUNS SO QUICKLY. BUT HE TOOK THE LEAD IN PUMPING THE LEAD LEAD LOAD INTO THE'4'5S WITH HIS 245SS

I awarded marks of 2 2's out of ten's for his appalling but cutely appealing efforts. As a teacher I predicted great thing's ahead for him but his punctuation has grievously failed him, 'so very failed ye's it has.

He just can’t get his English grandmas’ right.

‘Still, Geoffers' mu'st not give up. He has a rare talent (it s’hows’ only once every few years'.)


It seems so long ago,
Geoffer’s was a drone,
Two forty fives’ inside his head,
A dog without a bone


Kindly Regardly

S'olong

[solongleonard]

"Well then Fido got up off the floor
An' he rolled over
An' he looked me straight in the eye
An' you know what he said?
Once upon a time
Somebody say to me
(This is a dog talkin' now)
What is your Conceptual Continuity?
Well, I told him right then (Fido said)
It should be easy to see
The crux of the biscuit Is the Apostrophe(')"

We all know Geoffrey had difficulty understanding the Zappa March 1974 album called "Apostrophe" and this has misled him into language error. But perhaps a more helpful source for him might to be study the following expert sources

" Words into Type", third edition (1974) takes the view:

In referring to decades, the sixties or the 1960's is generally preferred (not '60's, '60s, 60's, or 60s; the last form is used occasionally for ages of persons).

The New York Times Manual of Style and Usage (1999) agrees with Word into Type about the apostrophe,:

"decades should usually be given in numerals: the 1990's; the mid-1970's; the 90's."


I am glad that you are showing an embryonic interest in correct grammar Geoffrey and I am happy I have been able to help you in your new-found mission. Please do not despair, noone should be overcritical of your foolish, but understandable, mistakes s'o far.

[Geoffrey]

We all know Geoffrey had difficulty understanding the Zappa March 1974 album called "Apostrophe" and this has misled him into language error. But perhaps a more helpful source for him might to be study the following expert sources . . .

i wish to apologise, mike. i touched a nerve; i realise that now. some people do not have the strength of character to tolerate being corrected, and i forgot that you fall miserably into that category. yet i implore you to not give up hope, for there are ways to overcome such a socially crippling impediment. i can set you on the path to becoming a likeable, first-rate, cultured gentleman who doesn't need to feel superior all the time - but it will require humility on your part. to begin with you must put all those zappa records into the rubbish bin outside your back door ready for when the dustmen come. this won't be easy, but you will thank me later, because listening to that racket can stunt a person's ability to develop a taste for quality music. also, always remember that being right or wrong in a discussion is unimportant, the main thing is to respect each other's opinion.

https://youtu.be/2O9OfxS0r08

[solongleonard]

G, I remember when you confidentially disclosed to me your previous career, and the Scandalatum Magnatum that led to your expulsion from the Register of Dental Surgeons.


It was your first privately paying patient. He was a Gentleman of substance, a Gentleman from a strata of society way above your own class which possibly led to your lack of confidence in performing your professional duty. As his appointment drew near, you trembled and puked! But let noone say you are not game! My rather large following on this forum can vouch for your toiling away on this very thread, struggling with language but gamely persisting!

As the patient entered the surgery, you dropped the drill and flew into a blue funk. As I remember the newspaper articles, you jumped out of the surgery window. Is that really true? The TV that night broadcast that you were on the fifth floor!! So well done you, and in my view you are no less attractive with only 3 legs. You then attacked a road worker, beat him down, threw his family into the adjoining lake (they were all visiting Dad on a Family Work Experience day, quite annoying for them but not every single one died), you then stole from a passing vicar some mountaineering ropes and tackle , and scaled back up the building (please note with your traditional mix of respect and envy my delicious use of the word "scaled", that's what dentists do!).

You explained to your patient that your legs were actually a camera tripod and you would be taking pictures of your brilliant treatment of him. You started the treatment of which you had just posted. You told him to "open fucking wide", but he wanted an explanation of exactly how wide and you pointed out there was an "elephant in the room" and no one normally mentioned her. "As wide as that bloody elephant" you rejoined.

The important patient settled down as you nervously twittered on about how you had failed your English exams in the Air Force and were thereafter forbidden to talk for 5 years until the retakes. The second failure led to your new career as a "Tooth Geezer" and you gave up English forever. The Second time around the Examiner, whom you had once met socially at a stranger's Christening, remarked "he speaks English like a Norwegian". From that day on you invented a joke, "hello, come in, sit down, I am your dentist, can you a Fjord me?".

Sadly, it all went so wrong, so very very wrong on this occasion. You inserted the road drill into the patient's mouth. As you ripped through Mike's mouth (had I mentioned his name so far?) he began to cry in pain (in hospital for the rest of the day, so that was a disaster), (died the day after, also not good) and you, as your tiny world crumbled around you muttered the notorious words "I wish to apologise, mike. I touched a nerve".


It is such a shame that you felt the need in your post to continue your penance in this public forum where up to 3 different people can pass through every month.

However, I am a gracious Man and I accept your apology. I won't go on to read the rest of your message. I am satisfied that you have done your humble best to "atone". And now it is "at one" here in Norway I am going to eat breakfast. It will be my regular dish "fried Geoffrey on toast", mmmm lovely.

[Geoffrey]

thank you, solong - for another very interesting rant. i'm sure it was quite therapeutic to get that out of you. have you considered taking the MMPI test? i would certainly recommend it. first step on the way to recovery
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two or three weeks ago i posted a picture of a gentleman who gives me a free curry at his restaurant each time i draw a picture of him. it doesn't take long to do, so we are both happy. here are a couple of the latest ones

[solongleonard]

let me help you with the definition of "rant" - "speak or shout at length in an angry, impassioned way". I am sure you will see your blunder very quickly. I forgive you xx

see if you can find a word that applies to my post. a word that means "speak with wit and compassion".

you are not obliged to continue your learning in public and there is much to be said for you to take your time in quiet self-reflection.

I recognise the man in your drawing! It is surely the Barnet manager, Darren Curry. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darren_Currie

Here he pays tribute to the files Webmaster (although he spelt Jarrko's name incorrectly!)

[Geoffrey]

hello chum. forget about all that, here is something far more interesting - a new picture of me! not everyone dares to show what they look like, it takes courage - something of which i have an endless supply. were it possible for me to pass a little over to you i would do so in a jiffy, but sadly it's something that must be in your genes when you are born

[solongleonard]

that's a lovely photo of you, and your girlfriend in the photo below looks lovely as well. Does she live in America with you?

[Geoffrey]

solongleonard wrote:
>that's a lovely photo of you, and your girlfriend in the photo below looks lovely as well. Does she live in America with you?

i live alone as much as possible. some people kind of waste all of my very precious time.
https://youtu.be/alWuMaGCm20