kwills wrote:Okay guys, I mean Princesses and Kings and Ladies in waiting,torturers and agents here is Henning performing especially for us! (He's a bit shy so you can't quite see his face properly)
That was awesome!
It was nice to hear those words to music.
Kwills please pass on Kissingham castles thanks . We should give Henning some kind of honorary thing in appreciation of his being such a good sport - Perhaps King G could Knight him ... V would a count ever be a knight?
Thank you to you to brave little Kwills for being so daring!
oppps posted just a minute after PV - I know that there is important Henning information there - but I will come back to it
.. um, your Highness -- uh, Queen Cate, mam.. um.. no.. knights are beneath counts.. they are not noble, in fact.. but "knightly".. (and may be appointed or elected to sit in the House of Commons)..
.. so.. 'twouldn't do to knight a count.. I could bronze him, maybe.. and we'd keep him around as a statue..
.. well, doesn't seem that he himself will make an appearance, in any event.. (can't say I blame the poor man)..
Dutifully Yours,
Sweet Princes Violet (flower).. (ascending that rickety staircase..
so to write more of her memoirs, and maybe another message
to her Lordship)..
I must say, it's an odd book.. Beautiful Losers, I mean.. I mean,
you don't know where you are half the time, which suits me.. I'm
now thinking though that the narrator was not researching his long
lost Indian saint muse while his wife Edith was alive.. I'm thinking now
that he was doing this in desperation after sustaining this terrible
loss.. and it's even looking now as if he were doing so at the
suggestion of F.. (figures)..
.. "Fuck a saint".. is what F. advised.. (knowing full well that his
bereaved friend was just the sort of lost scholar to follow such
advice.. not knowing where it would lead.. not knowing, well,
anything at all, in a sense.. which was somehow the point)..
.. Catherine Tekakwitha was her name -- the dead saint, I mean..
She was a member of a tribe we will only ever know as the A______'s..
.. there were only a few left when our lost scholar was researching
this.. (and it seems he and F. fucked most of them).. (pardon my
French, but I am speaking of "Losers," after all, dear reader, who
shouldn't be reading this private message, in any event, so don't
complain.. I mean, I'm sure his Lordship doesn't mind my French in
the least, so you could at least respect the tenor unique to this our
most private correspondence).. Now where wa-- oh.. yes.. the A's..
.. his research pertains to the mid 17th century -- Canada -- when
the A's were entirely devastated by Plague.. Poor Catherine's family
perished, but she survived, a "mutant," as the narrator describes it..
her face eaten away and pock marked.. her eyes unable to handle
any sun..
.. Was it his broken heart that needed to find such brokenness in which
to store it all?.. Was his heart broken?..
.. Edith was an A. as well.. Edith, who put a grain of rice in her belly
button, believing it would grow.. Oh, she fucked F. too.. at least
seven times.. (you see our poor narrator tries in vain, it seems, to get
some precision out of F. as to these indelible numbers of his own turmoil)..
.. funny.. I've been laughing out loud reading much of this book.. (if
anyone ever needed the most comically acerbic Sermon on Constipation
ever writ.. it can be found here).. (and so this becomes the perfect tome
to keep on a shelf astride one's own porcelein thrown of the misbegotten)..
.. Still.. the truth is, my lord.. I've somehow made myself sad.. Is it my
sadness?.. or is there a stream of ineluctable sadness running through
these desperate words.. these endless laments?..
.. (oh, well of course there is.. but the man's humor can almost make
one forget)..
.. hmm.. let me find something funny for you.. after all, I can't have
my Lordship being heavy and sad feeling.. (not when his heart might
be as soft and light as those delicate hairs at the nape of this lovely
v i o l e t flower's long, white neck).. (I should like your lips there,
dearest)..
.. oh, here's something.. he's recalling how clean Edith kept their
bathroom..
.. only now.. well, he's promised the bowl it will be cleaned.. if only
it would be good to him, as it were (recalling now his, uh, constipation
problem).. I mean..
.. "you don't polish windows in a car wreck".. [was how he put it]..
.. (I was on the subway, choking back laughter reading this)..
.. well, alright, my lord.. I think I've managed to avoid anything too..
hmm.. off color, let's call it.. (but not to fret, there's always next time,
dearest)..
.. okay, well.. be well.. and I will try to be well myself..
ever,
your hopeful little v i o l e t (stem).. xx x.. thinking to do some
gardening today..
Where am I now? one minute I'm disgiused as a cabbage patch doll now I'm rowing a leaky boat in the jungle! What did Queen Cate the Viking Queen put in my milk bottle? ( gosh wasn't she marvelous with that horse and cart just slashing her way through those Roman soldiers?) and how come my boat is leaking? I hope it wasn't agent Orange's doing!
Phew! that was hard work rowing that boat. I wonder where agent Orange is now she's supposed to be my backup. She's probably getting babtised by an unsuspecting Priest knowing her! He'll be defrocked if he's not careful oh too late Pussy's already defrocked him!
Hey! what are you doing you bunch of monkeys put me down NOW! HEEELP!
.. baby bond.. I'm taking a break from a lovely day of gardening and bike riding.. the weather has cooled off, and so it's just lovely for these things, here at peaceful Kissingham castle..
.. yes.. I can see you're in the presence of Pure Evil from everything you've shown us.. now.. did you notice this guy?
Bond...er kwills...no i was right first time...Bond
You can’t blame me for that one, violet keeps changing the location…I don’t know what she’s taking up in that tower but she’s going on some interesting trips…(although she could be otherwise occupied by her Lordship fixation).
And I didn’t sabotage that boat, but I did find a plug in my bag, maybe that could belong to you?
Stop messing about with those monkeys (what’s it with you and monkeys, didn’t you have enough of them in OZ?)
And why are you still dressed as a cabbage patch doll with a nappy on?
Kissy K…(Pussy for short)
Sorry violet 'M' missed your post...Things maybe getting very nasty out there for bb Bond. (i'm sure he'll cope though)...
'Take the breath of a new dawn
And make it a part of you.
It will give you strength'
Ohhh Princess V – you have reminded me of my one true love and my carefree days as viking queen roaring over the English countryside in my chariot alongside my Amazon sisters taking care of any men who dared crossed our path – draining the very life energy out of them ahhh my poor other dude who I can’t really remember the name of right now but loved so very deeply … it’s no wonder I turned to evil and took to hiding ladders for fun.
Back to the plot … I am again slightly confused
soooo has bb bond been kidnapped or was he just playing some kind of elaborate role play as way to infiltrated Count Henning Secret evil liar in Cambodia? (Cambodia?) Somehow he escaped? And is now drifting down a river in a boat with a hole in it but Pussy is following in her own boat with a strange owl (okay I add that part). Somehow a priest is involved – I suspect just because of the sexy robe thing … there’s some defrocking and while bb bond does a dance with some monkeys …
sooo can we assume with all the monking around that Sir F the frog smusher is completely safe (curses) I mean purses what a relief.
---
add on from Monday Morning - I don't want to post over Kims comment
Princess V. I have some new inks for you
ink-sets.jpg (17.53 KiB) Viewed 2518 times
as well as a wax set - don't worry I picked up an extra set so that we can re-seal anything we open and it will still look fine.
wax-sets_000.jpg (17.56 KiB) Viewed 2518 times
Last edited by Cate on Mon Jul 26, 2010 3:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I believe that he is demanding that we send him weapons ... or else
- Pussy I hate to say it because you've been a loyal subject and an excellent drink mixer, but yours are are top of the line, I think you may need to surrender yourself for the good and safety of the kingdom (I'll prey with that priest of yours for your safe return ... if you happen to run into P.V. lord there please bring him back as well - I believe Count H has hidden him away to cast a sadness over our Princess and therefor our Kingdom).
Baby Bond ... I have some presents for you ...
first a cool state of the art cross bow gun
crossbowgun.jpg (2.16 KiB) Viewed 2527 times
next a poison quill - be carefull not to bite on it.
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This one might be a little hard to see – it’s loosely based on the great spy Max smart – remember his shoe was a telephone?
information-medieval-crossbows-120X120.jpg (16.22 KiB) Viewed 2527 times
since we don't have phones have very cleverly designed this helmet (with the blacksmiths help) – you see it has secret compartment to keep a squirrel (or pigeon if you prefer hidden away) if you find yourself in trouble just scribe a quick note attach it to your vermins leg and bing bang boom message sent. ohhh gees I almost forgot to get the princess a new quill and a some more velum! I'll go shopping in the morning.
Wow, why all of these comments about father daughter relationships? No parents do the "right parenting", how about the girl herself? This poem is beautiful in speaking to the hidden life that lays within all of us. The surface is always so lovely isn't it? As is this lovely poem.
Thanks for your comments on the poem, it seem such a long time ago since I posted it…I think most people looked at it from the parents point of view because they could relate to that. I think we all have our doubts about being a good parent, but some do try to over compensate and spoil the child, so the girl herself was just a product of that indulgence. Some spoiled children just grow up to be spoiled adults but some are not that lucky…
You may have noticed that this particular thread took a completely different angle somewhere along the way, but in Leonard world that is quite normal, you never know which way your thread will go. It’s a bit like a roller coaster ride, just remember to hold on tight…
Karren B
xx
'Take the breath of a new dawn
And make it a part of you.
It will give you strength'
Oh Queen cate I didn’t realise you were that 'Q'…The gadget genius… But will these gadgets be safe in the hands of one so small (as in Baby Bond)…
So I take it that I have to go off after baby bond and give myself up to that evil Count Henning (ooh going to have to watch my spelling with that one or I could be in big trouble). Find violets lord, bring him back (what if he doesn’t want to come)... I know you will look after the priest for me but who is going to look after the King (he needs a lot of looking after)... And my only weapons are...my natural assets...so would that mean my dynamic brain and virtuous self control?...No i thought not!...Ah well a girl has to do, what a girls has to do!
Don’t worry kwills…er …bb Bond… I am right behind you! …unless you turn round then I’d be right in front of you…never mind, just thinking there for a moment…I really shouldn’t do that, it’s very bad for me!…Bond?...Bond?...Where are you Bond?...Bond?...
Lady K(Pussy G)
xx
'Take the breath of a new dawn
And make it a part of you.
It will give you strength'
I feel things at Kissingham are getting rather complicated...
Right now, lets just take a step back and see the bigger picture here, then maybe I might be able to explain where this plot is now going. Yeah right, like I know!
The plot so far…
Now ‘M’… the lovely princess V, is still up in the tower.
She’s writing of the days, when by her lord she was de-flowered.
She often gives instruction to her team of cunning spies.
Or writes letters to his lordship, and sometimes sits and cries.
But she never lets her passion for her Lord get in the way,
She tells us of the evil ones, in Cummalot today.
The evil Count named Henning, we think has took her lord.
So we’re on a quest to free him, when we find out where he’s stored.
Now Queen cate she is a player, with more than one disguise,
Sometimes she’s good, sometimes she’s bad, she’ll change before your eyes.
She also play’s the part of ‘Q’, a genius I’d say.
She’s given Bond some gadgets that could help him get away.
Ahh little Bond, what can I say, he’s sensitive and cute.
You’ll find him with his bottle and his little romper suit.
But do not fear, for underneath his fearless and he’s brave.
He drew Count Henning from his lair and made him sing on stage.
And dressed up as a cabbage doll he boarded Henning’s boat.
But Henning somehow slipped away and now the boat won’t float.
Pussy had pulled out the plug. Bond didn’t find this funny,
He quickly had to save the day, and plugged it with his dummy.
Now Henning’s asked for weapons. We know that this is true.
And Pussy will deliver them, and do what a girl must do!
She’s had to leave the priest behind, the queen said she’d take care,
But who will polish King G’s sword if Pussy isn’t there?
So Pussy follows baby Bond, and Bond of course gets lost,
Is captured by some Monkeys, and in the air gets tossed.
Pussy’s in a boat with Owl, he’s one of Q’s insiders.
They wished they’d bought Miss Money Penny and Miss Honey Ryder.
So Baby Bond is lost once more, or maybe under cover.
And Princess V is in the tower writing to her Lover.
Evil cate is helping out, we don’t quite know what for,
But the priest she’s looking after is running for the door.
Hennings hiding somewhere near, but we are not sure where
We know he’s got His Lordship, they’ve tied him to a chair.
So whilst we’re running here and there, poor violets left alone,
We need to sort this plot line out and bring her Lordship home.
So come on V, or is it ‘M’ I can’t remember who,
You need to tell the Boys Upstairs, exactly what to do.
Tell them that you need their help, do not let them say No.
And we will find His Lordship, or even Mickey ‘O’…
See violet (M) we are doing our best, for goodness sake what do you expect from a Baby and a Nymphomaniac…I’m not saying which is which! …
(cate, I may have worked in the Owl the Pussy cat the Honey and the Money but if I see any mention of a Bong Tree or a damn Piggy Wig, I will not be pleased…)
Lady K (aka Pussy G)
xxxx
I think I need a lie down now...
'Take the breath of a new dawn
And make it a part of you.
It will give you strength'
.. oh, hi.. Lady Kissy K.. thanks for the update.. I'm trying to discern the salient facts to it all myself.. I hardly think b.b. should be disguised as a Cabbage Patch Doll.. I think Kur-- uh, Henning would probably sautee him (thinking he was a cabbage) and have him alongside the roasted bison he was planning to munch on, after the native animal sacrifice about to take place.. [so maybe warn him, the poor little thing].. as to the unplugged boat.. uh.. please plug it up, Agent Orange, if you would.. it might be a bit dangerous to manage in your stilettos -- but try..
.. oh.. and as to his Lordship being tied up.. hmm.. I wish you well with getting him untied 'n rescued 'n such.. (he might like a few lashes before you do that, however.. just to give you a head's up.. I mean, he'd maybe be more manageable after that, probably, as it soothes his nerves, I find)..
.. okay.. well, here's what I was doing as you were doing your [wonderful as usual] summer-upper poem for us:
.. [Sweet Princess Violet (flower) is up in her tower, as usual, this time waiting for kw--uh, baby bond to radio in her-uh his coordinates in.. (yes, Queen Cate, Count Kurt-- uh, Henning is camped out in Cambodia, not Vietnam.. but, unless you're as obsessed with this film as I am, I can understand your confusion)..
.. the sweet princess seems a bit sad, though that's not entirely unusual (as we all know by now).. oh, what's this?.. she's found an old quill of hers that looks to be fairly unused.. hmm.. a very slight smile seems to be forming, as she takes out some rather tattered looking vellum (that she keeps all rolled up under her bed), as she commences to write]..
My dearest Lordship,
Okay.. I know this is kind of weird.. but.. well, it seems that F. and Edith sort of
accidentally invented what F. would later call the Telephone Dance.. and.. well.. it
made me wonder what it would be like to try.. with you, I mean.. Anyway.. what
they did was.. well, there were odd circumstances that are maybe too cumbersome
to go into now (especially since I don't know how long this quill is going to hold out)..
but they were facing each other.. in the basement lobby of one of those old movie
theatres -- you know, those old art houses that used to be around, that smelled of piss
and semen, even when the movies were probably just imported from Europe, and not
x-rated or anything... except maybe to American or Canadian or, let's face it, British
sensibilities..
.. ANYWAY.. there they were in the seedy rancid lobby of this art house movie theatre,
waiting for the narrator person to finally come out of the bathroom (F. claimed he knew
what his friend was doing in there, by the way, and when reading a book such as this one,
the reader's own conclusions go towards our poor F-beleaguered narrator probably jerking
off yet again.. only.. why then?.. was it the movie they'd just seen?.. possibly.. I mean, his
wounded saint hadn't come on the scene yet, so.. what else would he be jerking off to?)..
.. ANYWAY.. F. and Edith were alone, as it happens, and facing each other.. oh, also,
they were standing by the old telephone booths that lined the wall (the kind that used to
be everywhere, of course, before all this cell phone nonsense got started).. and they --
F. and Edith, I mean.. hmm.. don't know who did it first, or why, even.. but they stuck
their index fingers in each other's ears.. they closed their eyes to do this.. while
kissing, just slightly, "like friends".. (no tongue involved, in other words)..
.. Well, F. said (and, of course, listening to such details really did drive our poor narrator
person nearly mad.. I mean, the details of F.'s and Edith's, um, obscure sexual[ish] dalliances,
in this instance)..
.. ANYWAY.. F. said that once they'd done this with their index fingers the sounds of the lobby
completely disappeared.. and he found himself listening instead to Edith.. oh, he said her
ears were very tight.. which was something he termed "highly developed" for some reason --
though who knows why.. I mean, it is "F." after all.. Oh, and she had long, red-painted nails
that were digging into his ear drums..
.. ANYWAY.. in the throes of all this, he said he became a telephone.. and that "Edith was
the electrical conversation that went through [him]"..
.. (hmm.. I wonder if drugs were involved -- no, scratch that.. I honestly think that with
F. no drugs were ever really needed, even though they may have been employed at times..
but that's just a theory)..
.. ANYWAY.. F. said the experience of listening to Edith in this way was that of "ordinary
eternal machinery" [??].. and that it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard..
.. well.. maybe you would find me odd if I asked that we each put our index fingers in each
other's ears while closing our eyes and kissing each other gently.. you would no doubt find
that odd, I guess.. but.. anyway, it's occurred to me that it's something we might try some
day.. maybe when we least expect to do it.. I mean.. we might be walking somewhere..
beside the water somewhere maybe.. I'm not sure about a movie theatre lobby.. I mean, I
don't think there are a lot of rancid old theatres like that anymore.. and I think you'd need a
kind of dirty, rancid-seeming one somehow.. oh, and with old telephone booths too.. I mean,
in honor of B.L.. but I think if it were somewhere entirely different.. and when we least
expected it to happen.. I think that then there might be some possibilities for it..
.. actually.. maybe I'm thinking of water since it's reminding me of sea shells, come to think
of it.. it would be to make of each other these sea shells, I think.. the Sea Shell Dance, we
could call it.. and who's to say what we might each sound like to each other.. who's to say..
until it's tried..
.. oh, I thought I'd be talking more about Catherine Tekakwitha.. the fact of her being a
saint, I mean.. how her sainthood began to unfold, as it were.. but, maybe I'll leave that 'til
next time..
.. well, I do hope you're getting these messages.. I know my white dove claims to be efficient,
and at times I believe that's been born out.. still.. I've sort of lost faith in him somehow,
given all the blabbing, I mean.. but.. it's the best I can do for now, my dearest..
.. actually, returning to our Sea Shell Dance for a moment, I don't know if you would sound like
"ordinary eternal machinery" or not.. but I do think that, whatever it was you sounded like, it
would be the most beautiful sound in the world.. I honestly believe that.. and I wish we could
both plug up each other's ears right now, and just see what happens.. I do so wish you were here..
and that we could do that.. or.. maybe on our little tropical getaway.. maybe you'd let us try then..
on an abandoned beach somewhere..
.. (from here to eternity?)..
.. ever,
your eternal [though not very ordinary] v i o l e t (stem).. xx x (missing you.. and I do hope you're
the victim of faulty intelligence, and that you're not actually tied up somewhere.. well.. unless you
wanted to be, I mean).. xx xx
edits.. came back here a few times and tweaked a few things, just slightly.. (as is my v i o l e t-ish proclivity)..
Last edited by Violet on Tue Jul 27, 2010 7:08 pm, edited 2 times in total.
oh, what's this?.. she's found an old quill of hers that looks to be fairly unused.. hmm..
Princess V - look up - way up ... there is a quill in your new colourful ink set ... I thought you'd like it, It's bronze, solid bronze no feather, which is I think fashionable right now and a little sexy as there is something just a bit masculine to it - you of course are very feminine so I thought that might be nice. There's also a nice wax seal that you can use for letters or to drip on any guests that you might have tied up - up there, your choice of course
.. oh, thank you so very much, your Highn-- Queen Majesty Cate, mam.. I am so indebted to thou-- thee.. (I'm getting rusty already on the thees and thous, actually).. I wish I had the wax before, to go with my s.p.v. (fl.) seal.. then maybe that blabber mouthed white dove might have had to mind his own bees' wax, as it were..
many thanks, queen (!)
Sweet Princess Violet (flower).. (fully fashioned for further.. "F" revelations)..
