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Ooops! Hey wait a minute agent PG, didn't you tell me to ask him? It was all your idea! Who's side are you working for?

Never mind, now that we know what we're dealing with,let me tell you what we are dealing with.As you may have noticed by that secret video clip,Henning has disguised himself as the Shadowman! This of course means extreme danger to all of us! Let me give you a few tips P.G,Oh thanks I wouldn't mind a cup of tea especially Brook Bond P.G Tips! anyway, as he is now a shadow he can infiltrate any cracks and holes without you noticing! Unless of course, he happens to be a really big shadow then you might have a chance.Then again, how can you be certain that that is your shadow following you and not him shadowing you? Is it your shadow or is it his shadow? will he (God forbid ) break into song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyEf1Lp7 ... re=related

There you have been warned, oh and also even I.F will have trouble tying a shadow down!

Boss,M ,V any ideas?

Your most loyal,
Agent Bond

xxx

.. uh.. kw-- bond baby.. nice work.. this shadow stuff.. and just love Frank 'n Sammy.. (reminds me of my Rat Pack Adonis, actually.. just where does that Mr. Sirus get to?.. maybe he's still a bit wounded, as I had to give him up for the sake of my being entirely and elaborately [and masterfully, at times] ignored by his Lordship.. hmm.. he really should come back and join our offensive though.. I'd hate to have to share him, but.. I'm sure Lady Kissy K. would probably adore him)..

.. anyhoo.. Oh.. yeah.. well.. the shadow thing is no doubt just one of this insidious agent's insidious tactics..

.. okay.. well.. here's the post I was working on when you did yours, kwills:

.. uh.. to reiterate (sort of) what Lady K. just said, kwills:

.. JUST WHAT THE DUCK DID YOU DO?????????????????????????.. (actually "duck" could be used more, I think.. it's in the general vicinity, after all.. and Daffy's just around the corner.. (and then you can get into all of that lithpy thtuff.. which is under-used as well, methinth).. so.. all 'n all.. not a bad thubthtitute)..

.. Lady K. is right.. all you did was alert the enemy to all the, well, decadent goings on here at Cumalott.. kw-- uh, bondish person.. (hmm.. what's the opposite of "Bond"??.. I'll have to give that some thought).. now, baby-bond person.. what you were SUPPOSED to do, was to invite him here so that we might lure him in with our (questionable) charms.. you know, all that stuff about keeping the enemy close 'n all.. I mean.. to actually have him here before you've established any kind of -- well, rapport, at the very least.. oh, gosh.. and he was starting with Manhattan, wasn't he?.. I mean, if my appraisal of his own music can be trusted..

.. oh, but maybe that's a clue, kwills.. maybe that's a clue..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg6Q3t36VGE
FULL SCREEN..

.. if Henning means to sentence us to thirty years of boredom.. hmm.. I might consider it-- uh, no.. I mean, OBVIOUSLY.. we need a NEW GAME PLAN, kwills..

LET'S SEE.. we need a lot of briefcases.. (the kind you can lock with a key for some reason).. a big sandy beach.. oh, and we should keep things in black and white.. (gosh.. this is reminding me of Kansas suddenly)..

.. [Violet goes into one of her sad-ish "trance" moments]..

.. now, wha-- oh, briefcases.. oh, and that monkey business with the plywood violin.. (obviously it's code for something, kwills -- do some analysis work on that if you would.. seems obscure, but important somehow)..

.. as to groceries.. well, I think we all know what that's about..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqjQG-Tw9FY
FULL SCREEN..

.. (so nice when it's short 'n sweet, and EXACTLY what you wanted).. (just LOVE youtube sometimes)..

... Actually, I think THAT'S HENNING (!!!).. (I'm only just realizing).. wow.. you'll need to go into the depths of Cambodia, kwills, to get this guy.. he's out making a God of himself with a bunch of natives or something... (Germans.. they get so carried away sometimes)..

.. now, you'll need a boat.. those brief cases.. (alotalot of acid, actually).. I'll give you a dossier on Henning-- no WAIT.. THAT'S what those documents were, kwills.. the ones you fed to the river dragons, remember?.. (geez)..

.. ANYWAY.. you at least have your mission now.. and what we at least have going for us is that for a very long time he's thought of us as losers, but now he's worried that we just might win.. so, it's to keep up at least the ILLUSION of that, kwills.. (if you possibly can).. [yeah, that sounds likely]..

OKAY: GOOD LUCK.. [oh, and Agent Orange.. maybe trail him.. I'm doubtful he can do this on his own]..

Signing out from all this madness.. (I get so tingly when Leonard finally turns to face camera in that music video.. my god).. now wha-- oh..
Signing out, "M"]


.. okay.. as is now customary.. this is PRIVATE folks..

NOTE TO THOSE THIS MIGHT CONCERN: I've decided to self censor some of the following letter.. I have heard that these messages are not being kept private.. and that my dove is a blabbermouth, etc.. so.. thought I'd remove some passages which were not in themselves x-rated or anything.. however, some of the accompanying, um, imagery might have been.. so.. I'm censoring your own one-track minds, as it were.. Oh, also, I think we can at least in part blame Leonard for all of this..

[My dearest Lordship,

I am already exhausted just trying to keep things moving in
the right direction here at -- well, where ever it is I am.. not
sure sometimes.. Yes, I'm up in ye ol' tower again.. brooding, I guess..
Oh -- on the Beautiful Losers front.. I'm not at a section where
"F" is really prominent.. seems this narrator person (whose name --
if it ever was mentioned, that is -- escapes me).. anyway.. he's
gone on a kind of.. hmm.. poetical-historical-incidental sort of
desperate rant -- well, not rant, exactly.. sort of a lament, maybe..
ANYWAY.. it came after he discussed -- oh, well, first: seems he's
musing on his dead wife (whose name is Edith, by the way).. now,
she, for some reason, put a lot of stock in her -- I know this is
odd to say, but in her belly button.. she stored a lot of odd stuff
in there, actually.. Oh, but.. overall.. I mean.. this is reminding
me of stuff the narrator learned from "F" about the body's erogenous
zones.. and I have to say.. I do understand why one would finally
conclude that the usual suspects (as per, well, in-put out-put
scenarious.. sexually speaking, that is).. I mean.. how a certain
kind of mind might eventually conclude that there's a grossly
disproportionate (I got that from one of your cases, actually, my
Lordship).. a grossly disproportionate use of these, well, parts of
the anatomy.. leaving the rest of one's poor body a bit on the
undervalued side, I should think.. (or, well, "F" at least thought that)..
so.. I mean.. yeah.. for Edith to have her husband use her belly
button as a, well, receptacle for.. hmm.. this is a family show,
isn't it.. anyway, I think you can fill in (pun intended).. and yes, I
would be up for -- [CENSORED] I mean, arm pits, for example..
totally underused.. I mean, here you have these two throbbing,
pulsating armpits -- let's face it, wanting just as much action as
the rest of one's throbbing being -- but do they get any action?..
(other than harsh deodorants).. (which I'm sure "F" would be entirely
against, by the way).. NO.. they get entirely ignored.. (I never
thought I would wind up identifying so completely with an armpit,
actually).. but you know, my lord.. well.. I mean.. you could
[CENSORED]..
.. (gosh.. the images that are stirring around in my head right now)..
.. (Leonard can add my name to the list of those corrupted by his
B.L. material)..
.. alright, my dearest.. need to.. uh.. probably take a shower, as it
happens.. but maybe first I’ll..
ever,
your lovely little v i o l e t (stem)xx xx x]..


edits.. I can no longer remember why there are so many edits here.. the "censored" material, yes.. but the rest.. hmm.. don't know.. my guess is it's mostly awkward sentence structure, as is usually my problem..

kwills wrote:Okay guys, I mean Princesses and Kings and Ladies in waiting,torturers and agents here is Henning performing especially for us! (He's a bit shy so you can't quite see his face properly)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVk8KX_l2F8

That was awesome!
It was nice to hear those words to music.

Kwills please pass on Kissingham castles thanks . We should give Henning some kind of honorary thing in appreciation of his being such a good sport - Perhaps King G could Knight him ... V would a count ever be a knight?

Thank you to you to brave little Kwills for being so daring!

oppps posted just a minute after PV - I know that there is important Henning information there - but I will come back to it

kwills

I must admit kwills/bond I did make a suggestion, as to you approaching Shadowman, but I didn’t tell you to blab about the cummings and goings at Kissingham castle did I? ….

Oh and as for the PG initials…


I don’t mind being Kissy K
Or even agent O
I don’t mind being Pussy G
But PG has to go.

To many things I can relate,
I’d be first to admit.
But I just won’t be compared to
A cup of PG tips ……

‘Dad! do you know the piano’s on my foot?’ (don’t worry violet it’s a very British thing)

Loved the Frank and Sammy clip….

Must teach me how to do that subtle innuendo thing sometime kwills…you do it very well! Or maybe it’s just the way my mind works….



Dear SPV(f)

What is it about Mr. Sirus you think I’d like violet? …Remembering that Adonis is not a word to be used lightly (you wouldn’t want to get a girls hopes up, would you).

Speak for yourself violet . my charms aren’t questionable! Direct yes but not questionable!

And as for trailing baby bond, Do I have too??????

Kissy K (Pussy G)
xx

Dear SPV(f)…’M’

Have been trailing baby bond for some time now, (walks very slowly with those lickle legs of his, nearly trod on him once or twice)… I followed him into a Public House where he ordered a couple of pints (semi skimmed I think it was), then proceeded to answer any question that was asked of him, and he wasn’t even being tortured…

Did you ever check to see how baby bond would fair under torture, (maybe I F could sort that one out for us) because from what I witnessed he’ll tell anyone anything…

Has just left the Public House and got into a what looks like a Go-Kart…no hang on a minute …it’s a Pram…Can’t quite make out who’s pushing the pram…it’s a shadowy figure…no can’t see who it is…looks like he has a guitar case under his arm. Mmmme…Methinks something is not right here…I hate to worry anyone but it looks like baby bond is being kidnapped by…HENNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I would take chase but in theses stilettos I might break something…Sorry kwills…BB…

Pussy G...xx
Heading back to Kissingham for reinforcements.
(is there anyone at Kissingham?)

Ha ha Kissy K I liked your poem!

Here is the clip from the PG advert,my father thought it was hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgzEBLa3PPk


I will not call you agent P.G anymore,is agent P.Galore better? You know maybe if you cut down on the drink you wouldn't have to go so often. I can give you some of my nappies (diapers) if you like.


Oh, by the way agent P Galore, I wasn't blabbing everything to everybody in the pub. I was taking part in a pub quiz, as I've heard that our nemesis Henning is a keen kisser...er quizzer..so please be careful of your story or you might get me spanked by I.F!wimper.Very catty of you I thought!
I'm beginning to suspect that you are trying to get me into trouble,could be a case of jealousy perhaps?I noticed you didn't try very hard to rescue me when you thought I was being kidnapped! In actual fact Agent Orange I have fooled him into thinking that I am a cabbage patch doll and he is taking me home to his daughter!Howzat for a brilliant infiltrating plan! Will let you know as soon as I can where I am so that I can receive further orders!

Signing out

Bond kwills IS Bond!

Nice to see you are safe kwills...er...bond IS kwills...or is that kwills IS bond...whatever...

Liked the clip, i remebered it from when i was a kid. Jeez i was eight when that came out, i didn't realise it was that long ago...I can't believe i remembered it ...I can just about remember yesterday...

I don't need to cut down on my drink...I am quite happy with my liquid intake as it happens, and no i won't be needing your nappies... My pelvic floor muscles are extremely good thank you very much!!!!!

I would not try to get you into trouble(though you do probably deserve a good spank...but you already know that) and I don't understand the concept of jealousy...I just thought you were being very loose tongued...How was i meant to know you were at a pup quiz.

I have to say that was a brilliant plan to get Henning to take you home...A cabbage patch doll (I can see the resemblance...ok you asked for that one).
No seriuosly that was very quick thinking...have you ever thought of doing improvised comedy? Let us know where you are as soon as you can... by the way have you seen some of those outfits for those cabbage patch dolls...and they have their own little nappies for Hennings children to change you into...
Hope you thought this one through agent Bond IS kwills...

Lady K (aka Pussy)
xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1b26BD5KjH0
FULL SCREEN..

.. [pssssssst.. Bond Kwills IS Bond.. I see you've made it to Saigon.. Now, before you head down river, just know that this Henning monster is Pure Evil, kw-- uh, Bond.. that's why I spent so much time showing you footage of the Wicked Witch of Westwood (now I'm changing that name on purpose, since I noticed I keep changing it inadverdantly).. In so speaking, I wanted to make an impression on you as to just what Evil looks like.. well, except that Henning isn't a witch, a woman, or green, as it happens.. but.. (hey folks, one has to improvise around here)..

.. (by the way that old advert is choice.. I really enjoyed that, and had no idea Bill Shakespeare was a monkey or wore a bowler.. the piano part I suspected)..

.. now down there in the jungle, kw-- Bond, I'm doubtful your Cabbage Patch doll approach is going to work.. instead (as per the footage I provided), your cover is: a man with blue eyes, whose head is upside down for some reason.. that is who you are down there.. now, pull yourself together and find a boat.. your passage to hell awaits.

M.]

Dearest SPV(f)…’M’

You can’t really expect Baby bond to go to a place like that on his own…He could get eaten by alligator’s…mosquitoes…Henning…
And how is he suppose to row a boat…those lickle arms can only just reach his…um…well you know!

Oooh …Oooh…Violet…em…’M’…I just had a thought ….If Henning is pure evil…Can we get in a priest….PLEASE!…(ok kwills…Bond …whoever…you may be on your own )...I need to find a priest…I knew I’d get one eventually…(that’s the last one on my list…A Priest!).

Oooh Bond, Me thinks you have a hole in your boat….Ahhhh well! never mind, things could be worse…It could be my boat!…

Lady K( pussy G)
xx

.. hi Lady Kissy K.. didn't see your post.. don't worry, there'll be priests galore around here very soon.. I think the evilish queen plans on turning this into some manner of monastery or something.. it's a cover (probably) for all of the evilish things she has planned for us in her dungeon..

.. anyway.. check this out:

While we await word on baby-bond’s exploits.. [pub bound, as they seem to be at present].. I thought a little background info. on our lovely, if evilish Queen Cate would be in order..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgSaGmNO ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. hmm.. a temptress turned warrior.. oh, and we understand now her thing for whips 'n things... (it seems she's come under the whip at times herself, in fact).. and how 'bout that cage, huh?.. (to think she intended that for me.. and after I served her that nice High Tea 'n all too)..

.. okay, well, with this as our queen's deep dark past.. is it any wonder that Kissingham has devolved into Cumalott??

.. oh, and King G.. where do you fit into all of this?.. (maybe he caught her on the rebound, I'm thinking)..

Signed,
Sweet Princess Violet (flower).. Cumalott's Resident Historian.. (back up top the tower.. oh, Q.C.. I really do need some more quills)..

So we're definitely getting a priest?????...Oooh good...

Maybe we underestimated Good Queen cate? ...Looks a bit P**** off in that clip...

And as for King G...I find he fits very nicely!...

Lady Kissy K
Or pussy G...
(depending if you want pussy or Kissy!!!!!!!!!!!!)
xx