Daddy's Little Princess.

[Violet]

My dearest Lordship,

If ever I get out of Kansas.. (and by that I don't mean winding up in munchkin land).. and if you were ever to extricate yourself from all, or most, at least, worldly matters.. do you think we could get away to a nice tropical island somewhere??.. (hopefully one that didn't have an evilish siren presiding over us??).. I mean, something nice 'n normal.. you know, as if we were tourists.. (I really don't care anymore, just as long as there's good room service).. then we could avail ourselves of Marisha's banana fetish all we want.. we could even get some coconut oil, and.. oh, I don't know.. I'm sure we'd figure something out.. I'd even lower myself to ordering those tropical drinks with the colorful little paper umbrellas stuck in them.. (gosh, I really do miss color).. Oh.. and the nights would be cool.. and breezy.. Oh, and no computers.. nothing.. just you and me, all sleepy and cozy and coconutty..

.. [sigh]..

... anyway.. I just thought I'd put my frail little dream out there.. in case these white doves from Kansas are exceptional carriers and can make it all the way over to you in brit land.. and in case the tropical vacation gods are bored and willing (for a change)..

Love,
your v i o l e t (stem) xx x.. or whatever it was that you used to call me.. [violet is crying now, as she lets the birdie go bye bye]..

[kwills]

Sweet Princess V please forgive me it's due to the lack of sleep lately,teething problems you could say, please don't leave me here with the Dastardly Evil Cackling Queen Cate of the very short name,I'll behave promise!
EEEK! PRINCESS V quick,oh Your Highness Queen Cccate what are you doing? ha! Ha! stop it! it tickles! Princess V swee.....

[Cate]

oppps did that tickle - feathers on the bottom of the feet sometime do
don't worry Sir F. I promise to take very good care of you until your princess returns ... and don't worry about hanging munchins - that was just a giant bird popping up. I think the King and Lady K were having a game of hide and seek and he had just spotted her - I think it's one of those trained birds that jumps to attention when it sees it's prey.

your bath is almost ready ...
. . . . . . . . . Wench please fill up the knights daiquiri for him

I think you were going to tell me about slaying dragons ... why don't you get into the bath and I'll kneel behind the tub and wash your hair while you tell the story.
shall I help off with your padding? ... you must be terribly hot in all of that.


perhaps later I can show you some of my new purchases from Dungeon Master convention I was at when, I was supposed to be locked in the tower.

[Violet]

Dear Sir Falloffhishorsealot,

It turns out Henning doctored the "Just a Bird" footage re: OPERATION HANG ALL THE MUNCHKINS.. and so it's good I sent that material. This munchkin business is FOR REAL, so don't let that evilish queen tell you any different.. she's in on it too.. you'll be hanging like a limp -- oh, I don't know what -- and SOON.. if you don't watch out.. so, STAY ALERT, and please stop your whining. You're in grave danger, so best to dry your tears and.. actually, you might want to take another little trip to the evilish haunted forrest where I pinned the queen's evilish message to that tree that time.. you'll probably see a few hanging munchkins there, and that could be a good dose of reality for you.. it could wake you up, have you fly straight and all that.. so go check see.. and report back.. this dove seems to be very serious about his profession, told me it beat trying to save the world 'n such, which was way too much responsibility he said.. so it's good I found him..

Anyway, now we know at least something about this Henning dude.. seems to have an accent of some kind -- well, he's certainly not an American.. and he obviously knows how to manipulate data.. not surprising, since he's so well thought of in the Land of Cohen (code name for hang-all-the-munchkins land)..

.. alright, look I gotta run.. there's this evilish woman who keeps trying to take my doggie away from me, and really, aside from my dreams of a tropical get away with his Lordship, he's really all I got.. Aunty Em is busy all the time baking pies 'n things.. and the other dudes on the farm all keep trying to have their way with me.. so.. it's been hard even getting to my memoirs.. maybe high up in the barn.. oh, and the stench there will no doubt remind me of you (naughty kwills) and all the lousy things you've tried to hit me with.. (projectile vomit -- please)..

.. oh, I found someone for you.. I'll bring her back with me (if his Lordship fails to make good on our little tropical get away).. she's just your size, oh, and does nightclubs too.. (so hang in there, viewing wise).. (oh, sorry.. poor choice of words)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=My_BLicnBY8
FULL SCREEN..

.. okay, gotta run.. the evilish Miss Gulch is back, and she's looking particularly ornery today.. hmm.. I wonder if that's the Evilish Witch of Wickingham sent over here to keep an eye on me by her cousin, the evilish queen.. always a possibility.. I wonder how she got here without the ruby slippers though.. I guess that broomstick she's always got with her has magickal properties.. I wonder if Nude Dude taught her such things.. gosh, he might have been more talented than I'd realized..

.. okay, well..

signing out,

"M".. [here you go, birdie.. oh, and please tell kwills to get a grip]..

[Karren B]

Sir F Wrote or scribbled.

Look, ever since I happened along Cumalot, I've been hurtalot! buckedalot!insultedalot! orderedaroundalot! how would you like it? NOTABLOODYLOT!
So excuse me if I show you gratuiously (is that how you spell that word?)how I was spewed on!

Was it really my fault that my horse Buckalot bucked me into the alligator infested moat,as if I wanted that to happen? Was it my fault that Princess V threw ,what I hope was turps, through the window? Give me a break here Lady!( I can't remember the third reason I lost the papers) ah the pigeon got lost!

Dear Sir F...I am so sorry Sir F if you feal at all undervalued... I am grateful that you brought the King back in one piece...And i can forgive the projectile vomit (just about). I have had a very good day today, which was much better than yesterday (ooooh you don't want to go there...and I don't want to remember it to much). I will do all I can to protect you from the Evil One... But sometimes I think Obliviom is it's own defence!! And i think you're quite good at that....

Lady Kissy K (under the influence-is there an alternative?)
XXXX

[Cate]

.. oh, I found someone for you.. I'll bring her back with me (if his Lordship fails to make good on our little tropical get away).. she's just your size, oh, and does nightclubs too..

nightclubs....What?! Why!?
Princess V/Dorthy - can't you see I'm trying my best to get Sir F out of these quilted things
why are you distracting him with video's of some young and very cute thing. You know it's not easy being an evilish queen. we need love too! and the king well - it's been years since he even glanced at me (mind you I kept hiding from him. The sword thing was a bit ... overwhelming and seemed a bit dangerous, somebody was going to get an eye poked out with behaviour like that!)

Don't watch Sir F - I don't even think it's her real hair - It's fake I tell you!!!

(Ummm sir F - just to make sure ... the baby thing is part of your disguise right? you are over 18 right and legally able to consume alcohol? - it's just I'd hate to loss my license).

[kwills]

Phew! it's hot here in this bath,but I must admit it is so nice to have that armour off,I don't think Princess V appreciates just how heavy that thing is.Phew! it REALLY is hot here.The wenches have just gone to get more logs for the fire underneath this tub,I must admit it's a jolly good idea to keep the bath water warm but I'm starting to boil here.
Cackling Queen Cate has just gone cackling away to herself,but will be back soon she says,phew! that woman makes me nervous,phew,phew, phew, I need some cold water in here I'm really starting to boil! Wait a minute I AM STARTING TO BOIL!!!! HELP! BUCKALOT! Buckalot thank heaven's quick buck this tu.....Splash! ouch,ouch ouch.Oh Buckalot you are the bravest,don..horse in all Cumalot,now where's my armour? Away,Buckalot, run like the wind to the haunted,creepy forrest where Princess V has pinned a note on a tree by the evilish,dastardly,cackling Queen Cate of the very short name.Why pin it there I don't know? Didn't I tell her that Henning is German? How remiss of me I suppose that will be another black mark against me!Sigh! Thud,ouch!

[Cate]

Dear Sir F...I am so sorry Sir F if you feal at all undervalued... I am grateful that you brought the King back in one piece...And i can forgive the projectile vomit (just about). I have had a very good day today, which was much better than yesterday (ooooh you don't want to go there...and I don't want to remember it to much). I will do all I can to protect you from the Evil One... But sometimes I think Obliviom is it's own defence!! And i think you're quite good at that....

Lady Kissy K (under the influence-is there an alternative?)
XXXX

a today which is better then yesterday is always a good thing!
I have a present for you to help celebrate and in honour of your great service and non-complaining of your polishing duties (I've noticed you've started hummming around court recently that's kind of nice - livens things up a bit I think)

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Card
For Lady K who has so very kindly taken to polishing things … although I do miss the days when she would bring me drinks. I’m not exactly sure what this is but it’s called a pear does look like it would require polishing. The salesperson told me that simply showing it to a fella could make them behave exactly how you please … so it might come in handy if the king gets out of line.

one for sweet Princess Violet flower

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Card
Dear SPV this is for you – it’s had made and you would look wonderfully tragic in it hanging over the alligator filled river while a monk named chip slowly chewed at the peanut cover ropes … His lordship would surly swoop in to rescue you rather then let a single petal be torn.

and for sir Fallsoffofhishorsealot

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This is for Sir F to help make him a little taller so the Princess V will finally be able to see into his eyes where she will fall hopelessly into them finally realizing his love and true devotion … she will then return to pinning for his Lordship leaving poor F distraught and needing to suckle … being queen I will do my best to comfort him … then I’ll smush him just like he did to my poor nude dude (oooh I don’t think I was supposed to type that last part out load)

[Violet]

.. by the way, guys.. did I mention how quiet things are, here in Kansas?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tWkf5L6ooEM
FULL SCREEN..

[Violet]

.. gosh, I think I'm having a FLASHBACK..

.. hmm.. didn't realize I was blonde as a child..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eZGqxwb4KU&NR=1
FULL SCREEN..

.. OHMUGOD this seems to explain a lot.. my aversion to Pink Floyd, for one.. oh, and my incessant pining, I guess.. (my poor poor papa)..

[Violet, even in her FLASHBACK, is holding back tears]..

.. it also explains why I became a brunette weather woman.. (well, maybe not the brunette part).. it's strange though.. I mean, I don't even remember having that job.. I wonder if Georges was there with me.. I'll have to ask him some time..

Anyway, all this trauma will no doubt resurface in my memoirs.. (geez).. I wonder if this has anything to do with my world turning black and white at some point.. hmm..

[Violet kneels to pray that she will wake up soon]..

[Karren B]

cate said

For Lady K who has so very kindly taken to polishing things … although I do miss the days when she would bring me drinks. I’m not exactly sure what this is but it’s called a pear does look like it would require polishing. The salesperson told me that simply showing it to a fella could make them behave exactly how you please … so it might come in handy if the king gets out of line.

Thank you Queen cate for the generous gift but unfortunatley I already have one.(picked it up in italy some years ago).



The screw mechanism doesnt work as well as it did but i'll just give it a quick polish and it should do the trick...I think if the King knew i possesed such a thing he would always be getting out of line... I myself feel they could have done without the pointy bit at the bottom!

Many thanks anyway but maybe you could find a use for the spare one. (Maybe Sir F would like to try it?)

Oh...by the way...You only have to ask and I will always bring you a drink, after all i am still your lady in waiting...And getting much better at doing very evilish things!!!!

Lady in Waiting Kissy K
xx

[Violet]

.. I gotta get out of here.. never liked that screen door anyways.. oh, and where's the fam when you need them, by the way??.. (geez)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-432u6vrOTI
FULL SCREEN..

.. it's so strangely moving to see my little house go whirling down and down like that.. it pulls at all my heart strings.. plucked to lovelorn soreness though they may be by my beloved Lordship.. may he still come and rescue me some day.. or at least condescend to having some tea with me, maybe.. or even.. well just one champaignie kiss, I think I'd settle for.. in that deep closet where all the guests' fur coats are kept.. those that have fallen on the floor by now.. given the one kiss has led to some passionate groping, and such silly-sweet-champaignie-falling-upon all these lovely soft furs..

.. finally I'd know your tender kisses.. and caresses.. as if inside our shared secret life.. thousands of tender and sweet and maddening kisses deep.. as deeper we fall into the endless fur-lined closet that only lovers know.. all the while, there's the stupendous-cacophonous din of the party just outside.. making our kisses all the more urgent somehow.. (stolen as they are).. still, I'd hear your love-whispers.. and you'd know my ache.. and my hurt.. and my want..

.. oh, god.. I'm drifting now.. with my love, finally.. lying beside me.. far off in some Stupendous Champaignie Future.. how perfect to finally feel your hands upon me.. to have them forcibly find my flesh beneath my satin gown.. how I longed for your lips.. and to so tenderly kiss your saddest eyes.. to taste, even, the salt of tears there.. how tender, and achingly sweet.. and sad.. to have you inside me, finally.. my eternal beloved..

.............. [a deep deep sigh].......

.. now where was -- oh... oh yes.. Kansas..

.. I guess I'm not in Kansas anymore.



edits: .. I come back here occasionally and tweak it a bit more.. all for you, my lord..

[kwills]

Flaming Heck Buckalot,lets forget the Haunted Creepy Forrest,and just keep on running this place is getting too weird and dangerous!

[Karren B]

Sir F You've Dropped Your Bottle!

He drinks a hell of a lot of this milk...Bet he's got good bones...Hang on a minute, that doesn't smell like milk...This bottle doesn't contain milk it's just a white bottle with a clear liquid in...smells like...no can't be...it is...it's full of neat Gin!!!

Sir F... no wonder you keep falling off that horse of yours...Try putting some tonic with it...

Oh I think Queen cate has a present for you...

Lady Kissy K
xx

[kwills]

Hic! She put gin in my bo hic le? how underhannnnnnnnnnnnnnnhicded! SNORE