Let's talk about A Life of Errands

[lizzytysh]

Hi Tchocolatl ~

Yes, you've been around for awhile, so definitely "here" ! I'm now on my second cup, now does "a ma sante" [absent the accent-type marks, that I don't know how to do on my computer] have anything to do with the idea of, "on me"? Along with committing a few "foreign" phrases to memory for my own use, I'm also going to need to invest in some French-/Italian-/German-/Spanish-/Chinese-/Japanese-/Russian-/whatever-else -to-English dictionaries!

I soooo agree with your reference to the Wright Brothers. Cia's signature also makes appropriate reference to this concept . In fact, as I look at the " 'details' only," particular ideas come to mind as a result........a fact that I am absolutely certain is not foreign to Sohbet [and is an integral aspect of this exercise].

This really is soooo much fun ! What a great way to begin to confront my demons of intimidation that keep me from attempting to [publicly] "interpret" Leonard's poetry!

I really appreciate your bringing this idea and exercise here for us, Sohbet.

~ Lizzytysh

[lizzytysh]

Hi Kush ~

Since this is one of Leonard's poems that you like, why don't you join in ? Fine, if you don't, of course. It would just be nice if you did. We're not to capacity yet, either .

~ Lizzytysh

[Sohbet]

Dear all, I am typing this with two degrees of fever and a hacking cough, which I am treating with an old remedy of spoonfuls of whiskey and honey, so if anything seems incoherent, it is not my fault.

Thank you for the lovely “poetry words.” However, I wouldn’t want anyone to feel a knowledge of such things is necessary to analyzing this poem or any other. These words are handy shortcuts used to talk about the regular patterns of stressed and unstressed syllables; there are many patterns. An experienced poet often doesn’t write with these in mind. His/her work will follow orderly patterns almost without thinking; poets will sometimes use such ideas more consciously when proofreading their work: “Gosh, that bit there sounds awful; I wonder if a little attention to meter (rhythm) would clear it up.” Remember, one person’s trochee is another person’s spondee!

After you brought this up, I played a while with counting words, syllables and stresses in the sentences (while I was taking my temperature). Here are some informal findings about each sentence. I don’t stand behind these figures. I’m fairly good with words, not so good with numbers.

14 words, 16 syllables, 7 stresses 43% syllable/stress ratio, 50%word/stress raio
12 words, 16 syllables, 6 stresses, 38%, 50%
24 words, 31 syllables, 12 stresses, 39%, 50%
44 words, 61 syllables, 23 stresses, 38%, 52%
27 words, 36 syllables, 15 stresses, 42%, 56%
13 words, 14 syllables, 5 stresses, 36%, 38%
20 words, 26 syllables, 10 stresses, 38%,50%
20 words, 25 syllables, 14 stresses, 56%, 80%
6 words, 7 syllables, 4 stresss, 57%, 86%

The words go from shorter sentences to longer and back again. With the syllables a bit less obvious correlation , same for stresses. Point is, a poem composed mainly of one-syllable words with a regular pattern of stresses that stays fairly consistent through out the poem until the last two lines. I played around with counting words, syllables, stresses; the only really interesting thing that emerged was that the last two lines carry a lot more “stress punch,” coinciding with a shift in the person addressed.

[Byron]

Hello. Do we have to accept that the first line implies 'good' luck? There are two types of luck. I am not moving any further down the lines until I have explored this implication with regard to Old Age and the dying embers of a century. We have all 'passed over' to a new century in which we will all die. Is that good luck? Or does 'luck' have nothing to do with age and time. Is it a device constructed to cross a bridge into the following lines?
I'll have a ponder or two.
Does the 'voice' envy the elderly? Or does the 'voice' want to tempt the reader with 'dreams,' and illusions?

[lizzytysh]

Sorry to hear you're ill, Sohbet. Maybe someone in the neighbourhood here can make you some homemade, Jewish-style, chicken soup .

Dang now, that's some pretty good figuring [percentages and all ~ loved that touch !] for someone so "out of it." Whiskey and honey. I've always liked that for a more interesting route [even if not blissful] to recovery .

Thanks for going next, Byron. I really wanted to note that there's only one line with only one word ["Commission"], which serves to indicate activities in/of another age bracket. [And I'm still not clear with myself whether the "which" phrase goes wrongfully ahead into the next phase of this exercise .]

What happened to Joe? Did you de-delurk ?

~ Lizzytysh

[Joe Way]

No, I'm still here, but will be leaving shortly for a while. While my last observation was that the narrator is a man, the lines "You Have Breasts/And A Gut" starts to blur this distinction.

See you in a week or so-have fun.

Joe

[margaret]

Of course the narrator is still a man, but he is reflecting that with the passing of the years he has put on a little weight.

[Sohbet]

The longest sentence has a heavily left-branching double prepositional phrase at the beginning.

[lizzytysh]

~ ok, Sohbet, time to get out the grammar books so I can understand your last observation ~ not saying I can't, of course. It's a good thing I'm not trying to top anything here, though, cuz I sure couldn't top that one . At least one here knows what you said [meant] ~ Vesuvius, you go next......it's back to the drawing board for me.

~ Lizzytysh[/i]

[Helven]

Hello,

Funny thread! [Elizabeth, thanks for the invitation]

The longest sentence begins with the words “in spite of”.
(Sohbet, this commentary duplicates yours partially, but the elaboration seemed important)

PS And this poem was written in English!

[Makera]

="Tchocolatl"]A LIFE OF ERRANDS

If You Are Lucky
You Will Grow Old
And Live
A Life Of Errands.
You Will Discern
What People Need
And Provide It
Before They Ask.
You Will Drive Your Car
Here And There
Delivering And Fetching
And Neither The Traffic
Nor The Weather
Will Bother You
In The Least.
You Will Whip Down The 405
To San Diego
To Pick Up An Acorn
For Someone's Proverb
And So On And So Forth.
In Spite Of The Ache
In Your Heart
About The Girl You
Never Found
And The Fact That
After Years Of
Spiritual Rigor You Did Not Manage
To Enlighten Yourself
A Certain Cheerfulness
Will Begin To
Arise Out Of Your Crushed
Hopes And Intentions.
How Thirstily
You Embrace Your Next Commission:
To Sift Through The Sunglasses
At A Lost And Found
In Las Vegas
Just A Few Hours
Across The Desert.
Your Hair Is White
You Have Breasts
And A Gut
Over Your Belt
You Are No Longer A Boy,
Or Even A Man
But A Sense Of Gratitude
Enlivens Every Move You Make.
Yes, Sir, These Are The
Very Gold-Rimmed Pair
She Left In The Plastic Tray
Beside The Dollar Slot Machines.
No, Sir, I Am Not Lying.


December 31, 1999

I bring it here. I know. It is very easy to go to the Blackening Pages to read it, but it is even more easy to stay here to read - and comment, hopefully.

Tchocolatl~

Thank you for your thoughtful posting. Without any intention of pedantry, (though known for it, at times) only for the sake of accuracy, I would remind that the "last day of the last century" occurred on December 31, 2000, not 1999. It is a common assumption, but when we count we count from '1' not '0', do we not? I have found that the easiest way to remember where they really begin and end. No "lapsus" on your part that I could really see. (?)

As for the discussion, in general, I am reminded of the maestro's own words: "You can add up the parts, you won't have the sum -- You can strike up the march, there is no drum"

Personally, I find it much more interesting to watch a trochilus....but that's just me. Have fun, that's what it's all about.

Best regards,

Makera

[Byron]

je swiv
il swov
elle swif
nous swifvf

vous swivle

tu swivffe

[lizzytysh]

Great observation on the English, Helven, and one not to be taken for granted!

I'll have to look for Sohbet's comment to understand your elaboration comment on the longest sentence. It's great to see you here !

Byron ~ I know you said something, just can't find my French dictionary to see what!

~ Lizzytysh

[Byron]

Ah... Elizabeth, I believe that Makera has hit the spot/target/eye of the thing.

For poetry makes nothing happen: it survives
In the valley of its making where executives
Would never want to tamper, flows on south
From ranches of isolation and the busy griefs,
Raw towns that we believe and die in; it survives,
A way of happening, a mouth.

W. H. Auden, 'In Memory of W. B. Yeats', Collected Shorter Poems 1927-1957 (London: Faber and Faber, 1990), p. 142.

[lizzytysh]

Ah well, so we won't be seeing you two here. We'll just have to carry on

I'm loving it, and finding it a very unique way of looking at poetry from "outside the box." Always room for plenty of boxes, and plenty of outside the boxes, as well . Are we only allowed to approach poetry in one fashion? Looks like a few of us slipped in through that side door over there. S-h-h-h-h-h-h, don't say anything, okay? The Poetry Police might have us arrested and ousted.

As for me, I'm [as already said elsewhere] thoroughly enjoying it ! And look forward to whose name will appear next, and what their input will be .

The essence will never be destroyed by the dissection. [And as the phrase doubly repeated in the poem confirms, "it survives." Just as turning a picture upside down to look at it, will reveal new things, it's also a technique [by getting outside of your hand's and finger's ingrained habits in drawing] for more accurate recreation of it, if you're trying to draw a picture of the picture, yourself.

Thanks for relating the jist of your French conjugations ~ it keeps my delayed projects for today at 3, instead of 4 .

Love ya, Albert ~ I mean Byron ,
Elizabeth