leonardcohenforum.com

LisaLCFan wrote:
>Thanks for all the new pictures, Geoffrey (your pizza looks good!).
>
>I only have a photograph to post today -- an intensely colourful sunset I saw recently. Cheers!

the pictures i post are mostly just sketches. it's nice to get positive feedback - appreciated!

the pizza was delicious. what wasn't eaten was frozen and heated up the following day. i was really proud of being able to successfully make a delicious tuna pizza, and therefore showed the photo i took to a bunch of friends as we sat in 'braud' cafe at moa shopping centre. they laughed and ridiculed me, saying that nobody cuts a triangular slice from a square pizza. i felt embarrassed because i hadn't thought about how silly it was, so that put a damper on my sense of achievement - and i wished the floor would just open and swallow me up.

you write "only a photograph", but i must say it's rather an amazing one, beautiful and dramatic. the landscape beneath appears quite flat, something the norwegian nature lacks. i grew up traveling mostly around the gloucestershire cotswolds, a rural place with rolling hills that are now replaced with huge jagged mountains. you are lucky to live in such a spacious environment, oxygen and a feeling of freedom.

as you may have noticed, these days i am finding more time to make pictures. a point has been reached where almost everything in the apartment is packed down and ready to transport at a moment's notice. estate agents constantly make contact and i go and view the properties they suggest. so far the right one has not appeared; they are either too small, too expensive, too high up or too far from civilisation. the right one will come along, all that is needed is patience. meanwhile, a pic from yesterday.

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Sat Aug 17, 2024 9:51 am ...i was really proud of being able to successfully make a delicious tuna pizza, and therefore showed the photo i took to a bunch of friends as we sat in 'braud' cafe at moa shopping centre. they laughed and ridiculed me, saying that nobody cuts a triangular slice from a square pizza. i felt embarrassed because i hadn't thought about how silly it was, so that put a damper on my sense of achievement - and i wished the floor would just open and swallow me up...

Hmmm, I seem to recall your recounting a very similar experience a few years ago:

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Mon Feb 24, 2020 2:39 pm ...i made a pizza the day before yesterday and was very proud of it. when i showed a picture of it to a group of friends at the shopping centre they all laughed and it destroyed everything. they said they had never seen anyone cut a triangular slice from a square pizza before. they ridiculed me, asked if i cut square slices from round pizzas, stuff like that. so i just left them and went around the shopping centre on my own.

Two suggestions:

1. Who cares what other people think of the way you slice pizza? There is no right or wrong way to slice a pizza -- it's just a pizza, for gosh' sake! Eat it any you want! (Of course, I suspect that there is more to your reaction than just the slicing of a pizza: being laughed at about something trivial can be a trigger for all sorts of past experiences that were not at all trivial...).

However, trivially speaking, as I mentioned back in 2020 when you made the first post about this, some restaurants/pizza places in North America (and perhaps elsewhere...) actually cut round pizzas into square slices. I also recall having seen square/rectangular pizzas (and other flat food items) sliced into triangles, thus your so-called friends need to expand their knowledge-base regarding various pizza slicing habits, before mocking anybody about it.

2. Find new friends, preferably ones who don't ridicule you, about anything.

Of course, they may have just been teasing you, good-naturedly, but clearly they crossed a line, since it caused you so much anguish. Teasing is one of those tricky things that can either fall into the category of friendly banter, or it can be(come) malicious verbal abuse (and probably anything in between). It really depends on the teaser(s) and the teasee(s) (their personalities and personal experiences...), the subject matter, the surrounding circumstances, the current mood of those involved, etc., as to how the teasing is given and taken, and whether or not everyone can just laugh it off, or someone ends up with hurt feelings. It is often a fine line, and it is really up to both parties to try to ascertain the possible intentions and potential reactions of those involved in any given instance of teasing, before, during, and after the event, as to how well, or how badly, it will turn out.

In my own personal experience, I think that people often fail to fully assess all of the various factors involved, for it basically requires reading other people's minds, and/or knowing a lot about them, and that can be difficult if not impossible. Personally, I dislike being teased, for more often than not, it either seems like those teasing me are being malicious, or simply completely oblivious (and even ignorant) to my feelings and sensitivities, neither of which are conducive to my happiness and emotional well-being!

Perhaps you can tell your friends that you don't like being teased, that it is upsetting to you, even if they are only joking around, and if they really are your friends, they may refrain from such behaviour in future. If they continue to ridicule you, well, again, maybe it's time for some new friends! You don't have to hang around with people who make you feel bad.

was just about to write when somebody requested i join them at borgundgavlen. it's raining but there's a cafe on the grounds, and i feel like getting away from these four walls. will be back later with the phone turned off. thanks for your message
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"Here's Johnny !" back home again:

i have read through again what you wrote earlier concerning bob dylan's song. you examined virtually every possible interpretation of the lyrics, something few people could have done without having personally experienced some of the complexities of a human relationship. to me, the last paragraph, especially, seemed to speak the loudest - perhaps because i 'see' myself in those lines; a person recognising his shortcomings and who chose "no commitments" - despite wishing "to spare another person's feelings". it seems to be a choice between either hurting someone or sacrificing one's freedom.

>. . . or is it a lament by someone who recognises his own shortcomings and wants to spare another person's feelings? Perhaps a bit of both: he may not know what he wants or who he is or how he wants to live, experiencing an internal struggle between a side of himself that wants to be the devoted lover, and a side of himself that wants no commitments, and being unable to reconcile these disparate elements of himself. Either way, "she" is going to be heartbroken, because the man she loves and wants to be with is not going to be with her, and she is not even being given a choice in the matter.
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until you reminded me, i had forgotten that i had written about circular and square pizzas earlier - and that was positive. it means that even though i was affected at the time by being ridiculed, the shame didn't have a lasting effect - i had erased it from my memory. god willing, this new episode will soon also be archived in the mind's rubbish tip. you are an excellent researcher, by the way!

when i rethink the situation, i believe the friends were probably teasing me, or at least partly doing so. i don't know what percentage of maliciousness hides within mockery, i guess it varies, or depends upon the person's psychological constitution. in any case, there is no smoke without fire, as the saying goes. i hesitate to tell anyone that i don't enjoy being teased, because that would confirm a weakness in my self-confidence, and a man wishes to be thought of as an alpha male - not a beta.

anyway, i had a nice afternoon today with a couple of wonderful people. it was good to socialise after being alone for 16 hours (!) - from 10pm last night until 2pm today.

cheers to you back

"once upon a midnight dreary, while i pondered weak & weary . . ." dance me to your beauty

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Sun Aug 18, 2024 2:36 pm ...a man wishes to be thought of as an alpha male - not a beta...

That's really funny!

I thought it was fairly well accepted that "alpha male" is synonymous with "asshole"!

Since some people seem to like photographs of food, below is a particularly tasty late lunch (early dinner?) that I had at a local restaurant, enjoyed on their patio on a beautiful summer day: tuna tartare (with a sliced pickled egg on the side), and truffle hummous, served with fresh baguette crostini, and a chilled glass of organic orange wine from Italy. It was all extremely divine!

The book I was reading while I enjoyed my lunch (slightly visible in the photo) is most fascinating: The Light Eaters: How the Unseen World of Plant Intelligence Offers a New Understanding of Life on Earth, by Zoë Schlanger. It is truly amazing what plants can do and how they do it -- absolutely paradigm-shifting stuff! Cheers!

LisaLCFan wrote:
>I thought it was fairly well accepted that "alpha male" is synonymous with "a*****e"!

news to me, and i can't recall ever having used that word. you are more enlightened that myself.

>Since some people seem to like photographs of food, below is a particularly tasty late lunch . . . It was all extremely divine!

so glad you posted with such a high resolution, allowed me to zoom in and imagine it was before me. it certainly looks delicious! i doubt one could find such an exotic meal anywhere near where i live.

>The Light Eaters: How the Unseen World of Plant Intelligence Offers a New Understanding of Life on Earth, by Zoë Schlanger.

i see there are a number of youtube videos dealing with this particular book, and intend to view one or two of them when the right moment arrives. meanwhile, thank you for hanging around. you and i seem to have this column to ourselves most of the time
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James Dean (1931-1955)

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Wed Aug 21, 2024 4:03 pm LisaLCFan wrote:
>I thought it was fairly well accepted that "alpha male" is synonymous with "asshole"!

news to me, and i can't recall ever having used that word. you are more enlightened that myself...

Well, let's just say that, these days, the term "alpha male", when applied to humans, generally has negative connotations: in addition to the word I suggested, it is associated with men who hold archaic gender stereotypes, and who are bullying, overbearing, domineering, sexist, insecure, narcissistic, and aggressive, and who feel the need to assert power and control over others. It is not, to say the least, a desirable trait. In my social circles (which include a lot of men), anybody who calls themselves an "alpha male" (or who acts like one) will inevitably be met with derision, for it is seen as an absurd fantasy at best, and a contemptuous toxic personality at worst.

Furthermore, "alpha males" do not actually exist as a real thing in human populations (likewise "beta") -- it is a pseudoscience construct derived from the non-human animal world (in which certain groups of animals do actually live in hierarchical communities consisting of alphas and betas), but which never should have been applied to people, because it creates unrealistic stereotypes that perpetuate unacceptable social behaviour and attitudes.

You may wish to rethink your use of the word, because it really is not something to which anyone should aspire.

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Wed Aug 21, 2024 4:03 pm meanwhile, thank you for hanging around. you and i seem to have this column to ourselves most of the time

You're welcome! It does, indeed, sometimes seem like you and I have this place to ourselves, but I think that is probably an illusion, for there are undoubtedly others who drop by to see what we're up to (or rather, what you're up to -- your posts tend to elicit responses from other people far more than mine do -- in fact, other than yourself, most people seem to ignore me around here! ), even if they seldom (if ever) choose to post. The number of "views" seems to suggest a steady stream of visitors, anyway.

Cheers!

LisaLCFan wrote:
>You may wish to rethink your use of the word, because it really is not something to which anyone should aspire.

after googling 'what is an alpha or beta male?' i am a little confused. there is no suggestion that these are terms with negative connotations - but perhaps i should dig a little deeper. in any case i will take your advice and refrain from aspiring to be an alpha male. despite all of the books on psychology i have read, i have yet to determine my own personality type - so frustrating.

by the way, leonard cohen, in his second novel, mentions several times 'a luckless tribe called "the a-----s", who's very name became a synonym for loser.' if there had been six hyphens instead of five i might have guessed their name

google:
alpha male: a man tending to assume a dominant or domineering role in social or professional situations.

beta male: a man ranked lower in the dominance hierarchy, perceived to be less successful than an alpha male.

>. . . your posts tend to elicit responses from other people far more than mine do -- in fact, other than yourself, most people seem to ignore me around here!

one reason why people are quiet could be because they believe they have no talent for sketching, or that they have little command of the english language - and that would be so wrong of them. it's great to see other people joining in, no matter what pictures they make or words they write - nobody is judging anyone.

>The number of "views" seems to suggest a steady stream of visitors, anyway.

yes, i have noticed. it is a pity the number of 'views' is visible, because it could be off-putting to anyone wishing to start a new thread.

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Sat Aug 17, 2024 9:51 am ...you write "only a photograph", but i must say it's rather an amazing one, beautiful and dramatic. the landscape beneath appears quite flat, something the norwegian nature lacks. i grew up traveling mostly around the gloucestershire cotswolds, a rural place with rolling hills that are now replaced with huge jagged mountains. you are lucky to live in such a spacious environment, oxygen and a feeling of freedom...

I would be inclined to say that you are lucky to live amongst mountains, an environment of which I am very fond! But, yes, where I live, the landscape is primarily flat -- "Big Sky Country" is a nickname sometimes given to the area, and for good reason. I do love the spaciousness of it, and it does, indeed, give one a sense of freedom, especially outside of urban centres, for one is seemingly surrounded by nothing but openness and sky, the latter of which can often be quite dramatic in its magnitude, particularly when clouds are present. I have tried to capture the essence of it in an acrylic painting I did a while ago (which was based on a photograph of a rural area: the land features on the horizon -- a farm, some trees -- I copied from the photo, but I took some artistic licence with the clouds). Cheers!

LisaLCFan wrote:
>. . . where I live, the landscape is primarily flat . . . I have tried to capture the essence of it in an acrylic painting I did a while ago (which was based on a photograph of a rural area: the land features on the horizon -- a farm, some trees -- I copied from the photo, but I took some artistic licence with the clouds).

magnificent! my efforts could never get anywhere near such work. i hope you are making pictures regularly, because you have the gift. it's always good to see people using some artistic licence, because capturing things a camera doesn't see adds to the interest, and it can also sometimes take courage - but gives an extra dimension. lovely clouds; one can almost feel the fresh breeze blowing through one's hair
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as for me, still no colour, i'm afraid. my pencil continues trying to get the hang of cubism

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Thu Aug 22, 2024 11:19 pm magnificent! my efforts could never get anywhere near such work. i hope you are making pictures regularly, because you have the gift. it's always good to see people using some artistic licence, because capturing things a camera doesn't see adds to the interest, and it can also sometimes take courage - but gives an extra dimension. lovely clouds; one can almost feel the fresh breeze blowing through one's hair

Thank you! I do make pictures regularly (and I post them here selectively), although I am not as prolific as you: I am rather slow and meticulous with such things (which I enjoy -- I'm never in a rush!), and it usually takes me a few hours, and sometimes even a few days, to do a single picture, depending on the medium, size and detail.

I don't think that I could copy a photograph and do a "realism" picture -- some people can, but that is a skill that I do not seem to possess, nor do I want to: paintings or drawings that look exactly like photos are not really my thing -- I prefer those with impressionistic/expressionistic elements, an "extra dimension" as you say, something personal reflecting whoever made it. It's like perceiving the world from a different perspective and in a different way, and ultimately, that can enhance the way a person perceives everything, if they are open to it!

I like your "cubism" drawings -- I think they'd be a lot of fun with some colour! But, of course, I am biased towards colourful things, and you must follow your own path! Cheers!

LisaLCFan wrote:
>. . . it usually takes me a few hours, and sometimes even a few days, to do a single picture, depending on the medium, size and detail.

well, whatever your modus operandi, it works very well.

>I don't think that I could copy a photograph and do a "realism" picture -- some people can, but that is a skill that I do not seem to possess, nor do I want to . . .

agree. it's clever stuff, and deserves respect - but one's eyes do not find much to investigate. i guess it is a form of art, but there is nothing of the artist in the image.

>I like your "cubism" drawings -- I think they'd be a lot of fun with some colour!

concerning the drawings: thank you! phases, experimentations, trying to land somewhere new - it often feels like an unattainable goal. almost nothing i do gives a complete sense of satisfaction. yes, colour would be nice. the earlier pictures had colour, but that process took longer than a pencil or pen, and it started turning into disagreeable work(!). perhaps colour will return . . . one never knows. like leonard sings "kindly leave the future, leave it open!"

there exists organisms that see in monochrome only, and dogs' eyes have limited access to colour, as you know. it can make one wonder what colours we humans are unable to see!
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yesterday i enjoyed an evening of live music

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:23 pm ...yesterday i enjoyed an evening of live music ...

Live music can be very enjoyable, if the musicians are competent, but I prefer mine without religion. Hopefully the food was good.

Geoffrey wrote: ↑Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:23 pm yes, colour would be nice. the earlier pictures had colour, but that process took longer than a pencil or pen, and it started turning into disagreeable work(!)

True, if a hobby/passion ends up feeling like (or being) "work", it can quickly kill one's enthusiasm. Best not to venture into that territory!

LisaLCFan wrote:
>Live music can be very enjoyable, if the musicians are competent, but I prefer mine without religion. Hopefully the food was good.

the food was excellent. spicy vietnamese dishes with rice, followed by coffee and some kind of hard ginger biscuits. i am not at all religious, but am entertained by observing people.

>. . . if a hobby/passion ends up feeling like (or being) "work", it can quickly kill one's enthusiasm.

i concur. the less enjoyable an activity seems, the more like "work" (in the negative sense) it becomes.

thank you for taking the time to comment
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hopeless, but gave me something to do on a rainy day.