leonardcohenforum.com

Excuse this unforgivable outburst just mad im not in London
but wish everyone a good time

What about this modification to your last attempt, Jimmy

i cant understand
why nobody posts here so
fuck off and write your own

No reference to the "seasons, but it is almost a haiku Jimmy!
I enjoyed the passion and the sentiment.

Mat J

I have one for you Jimmy.

Mind's muddy waters clear
eclectic clarity
arcs in consciousness

By Matj

fireworks in the sky
colours sparkling on the brow
of winter mornings

Enjoyed that jimbo.
Thanks

coral reefs awake
clownfish circling coloured homes
survival is life

I think (technically) you need to lose a syllable from line one.

technically yes
flu - idly I'm not so sure
rheumatic Winter

byron i luv you
with your jam butties and ice
if i fucking meet u


it would be nice

butterfly wings spread
as my thighs upon your bed
sip, sweet summers dew

sip sweet summers dew
from queen bees honeysuckle
in deaths final sting

Hey Jimbo,

Thanks for playing with me, I quite like what you wrote. I enjoy the Infinite haiku but there was a pause in the game.

thanks for playing here
are your wings tired beating
or are you just shy?

or are you just shy?
no...no... she said, then glanced down
maybe a little

I’ve had a chance to read this thread from the beginning. It took me a while but I thoroughly enjoyed it. There were so many great haiku poems, very inspiring. I love how a few words can create such a vivid image in the mind. I’m afraid this is leading me to distraction though. I’ve found myself at work, repeating in my head words that someone has said and counting the syllables. Over the last few weeks I’ve made several attempts myself, I’m not there yet, but the fun is in the practice.

Here are three attempts from yesterday during a snow storm. I think I'm getting close with the first one, but the last line seems wrong.


Knee-deep snow
Trudge through
Cold air fills lungs
Winters kiss bites cheeks
I’m alive


Our Marriage Contract
I’ll take care of your body
You take care of me



Words
Gently glide into me
Out of me, through me
Fill this void of white

Our Marriage Contract
I’ll take care of your body
You take care of me

I like your sweet cleverness in this, Cate.

Your other two go beyond the standard three lines, but I like the rhythms and the visuals. I also really like "Winters kiss bites cheeks" ~ when I read it, I could feel the strength of the memory. I like, too, your commentary on words on white.

Funny how you've begun breaking down what others say into their numbers of syllables. I've done that with my own thoughts, but not with the words of others. I'll listen for it.


~ Lizzy