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We need our mathematician from Matlock!

Mathematics:


What Makes 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%.

How about achieving 103%?

What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But ,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there.
Its the Bullshit and Ass Kissing that will put you over the top.
Now you know why some people are where they are!

...before the subject gets drowned in a quagmire of mathematical theorems and insightful oirish philosophy i think it's time we educated those folk....including the citizens of barnsley and dublin.......who have so far managed to travel thru life without having any knowledge of the truly historic and now officially EU protected YORKSHIRE RHUBARB TRIANGLE...this is an article from my copy of last month's 'rhubarb growers gazette'...........

..........also of interest to our walking group may be the book of walks in the YORKSHIRE RHUBARB TRIANGLE compiled by richard bell of which more later...............

Jubilation in Yorkshire's Rhubarb Triangle with the news that the region has been granted Protected Designation of Origin (PDO) status by the European Commission.

Yes, Yorkshire Forced Rhubarb, the inconceivably-pink vegetable, traditionally grown and harvested by candlelight in "forcing sheds", has joined the ranks of champagne and Parma ham on a list of Europe's specially-protected food and drink.

Janet Oldroyd of the Yorkshire Rhubarb Growers Association said:

"Awarding PDO status to Yorkshire Forced Rhubarb is fantastic news for British food. To the 12 growers left in the rhubarb triangle, a future is now certain. To the hundreds of farmers long since gone this is, in part, recognition of their hard work, dedication and steadfast belief in their product that has kept this industry alive since the early 1950s."

The word "rhubarb" derives from the Latin expression rheum barbarum, the barbarian from the banks of the river Rha (Volga), but the large-leaved Siberian native was a welcome immigrant to the Yorkshire Dales.

Local farmers developed secret methods to produce the tender and sweet version of rhubarb that has won a global fan base. It is thought the closely-guarded techniques involve an upturned bucket.

The exact location of the Rhubarb Triangle is a matter of some debate, as explained at the website of Yorkshire gardeners Sue and Martyn:

"The location of the 'triangle' is sometimes described as the triangular area formed between the three cities of Leeds, Wakefield and Bradford, (the green triangle of the map), other sources of information give the points of the triangle as Leeds, Morley and Wakefield, (the blue triangle on the map). However, the largest area of rhubarb cultivation falls outside of both of these 'triangles. The rhubarb is more accurately the triangular area of land between Morley, Wakefield and Rothwell (the red triangle on the map)."


click to enlarge

...i know that bids have already been submitted from spain and ireland for the 2013 leonard cohen biennal walking weekend but maybe a third bid for the YORKSHIRE RHUBARB TRIANGLE might be considered by the committee....i'm only too aware that henning's rule book clearly states that the designated bidder can only be someone who has both documentive proof of being born in the area and is also currently residing within 10 miles from the start point of the walk...so are there any yorkshire bred folk out here who could take up the bid for the rest of us rhubarb lovers?..............
Written and illustrated by Richard Bell

£3.99
These 9 circular walks give you a taste of part of the famous Rhubarb Triangle between Wakefield, Leeds and Bradford. They range from 1½ to 6 miles.

32 pages, full colour, picture maps, 120 watercolour illustrations, historical comic strips and three delicious rhubarb recipes by Barbara Bell. Size 245mm x 172mm (9.7 x 6.8 inches)
LOCAL AUTHOR Richard Bell has a new book of nine walks, all of which are in the rhubarb triangle with a number of rhubarb recipes.

Launched at this year's February Rhubarb Festival in Wakefield, Walks in the Rhubarb Triangle contains nine local walks, all illustrated in colour along with several family favourite rhubarb recipes from Richard's wife.

Richard states: “I first heard about the rhubarb triangle when I was a student so I included rhubarb in my first book, A Natural History of Wakefield in 1978.
“My new book is different to the others I’ve written as it is very colourful and includes picture maps and points of interest in pen and ink and watercolours. It also includes delicious recipes from my wife Barbara for rhubarb bread and butter pudding, rhubarb cheesecake and rhubarb triangles, which are a type of flapjack.”

Ossett & Horbury Review
March 2009

Rhubarb - namely Rheum rhabarbarum - is from the Polygonaceae family and genus Rheum. The use of 'polygon-' indicates 'many sides' but it is such that the saying 'rhubarb rhubarb' points to only two equal dimensions - hence the rhubarb triangle must be isosceles in nature (and also in Yorkshire).

It is even more interesting to note that the Pythagoras Theorem is a derivative term from ''gather us rheums for pie' - an ancient Yorkshire tradition borrowed from the Greeks ( 'agoras' - greek gathering) where Yorkshire lads met each alternate Wednesday to gather rheums. Difficulties occurred due to not knowing which were the alternate Wednesdays but enough rheum was gathered to make pie - thus, 'rhubarb pie', which is less than a mouthful than 'pie from agoras rheum rhabarbarum'

Now, here's the exciting bit......
The rhubarb triangle must be right angled such that Pythagoras theorem can be applied and, with it also having two equal sides (rhubarb rhubarb - remember?), it must therefore have two angles which are 45 degrees each or half-right - thus supporting the evidence that the rhubarb triangle must be in Yorkshire.

A confusion arises due to the fact that some Yorkshire lads in about 1769, or thereabouts, did not collect rhubarb for the gathering but misheard 'pies for us' and collected pyrus instead - which everyone knows to be a genus of the rosaceae family - namely pears.
These 'breakaway' Yorkshire lads (and their descendants) continued with their gathering of pyrus and laid them on the lie of the land next to the rheums. Difficulties arose because Yorkshire folk preferred rhubarb to pears and there became a surplus of pears - and these were placed on a new side i.e. the non- rhubarb side.
This is how the ''gather us rheums for pie' (Pythagoras theorem - keep up!) gave us the mathematical properties for the rhubarb triangle
..the sum of the pears on the rhubarb sides is equal to the pears on the pyrus new side (that's the best I can do...it's late!)

Q.E.D.

Pete

Sweet lamb of divine!!! What have I started?

Maybe we should have left this thread in hibernation for the winter. I think University Challenge has just taken over

pete...i will admit to having a bit of difficulty in following your very detailed history of the mathematical properties of the rhubarb triangle...but nevertheless first thing this morning i sat down with a bag of sweet william pears and a few sticks of rhubarb to see if i could make a model of a rhurbarb triangle out of the information you have provided.....looking at the finished triangle somehow i think i have either misread or misunderstood some of the data in your post.......i think it was the introduction of pears that has baffled me the most........any suggestions where i have gone wrong?....ta ken

I love your mathmatical theory that much Bernadine I have applied it domestically and it has provided me with some pretty damming information on the effort my lovely Jean is putting in . For instance when she does the IRONING (5+18+15+14+9+14+7) the effort she is putting in is only 82% the CLEANING is even worse at(3+12+5+1+14+9+14+7)= 66% but what is the most upsetting is when we make LOVE it's a paltry(12+15+22+5)=54% I can only assume she is going at it in a half hearted way . This worried me so much I confronted her on the subject and her immediate reply was :
Once for my birthday (54%) and once at christmas (54%) = 108% proved I was getting more than my fair share . Cannot argue with that theory can I !!
Cheers YL

liverpoolken wrote:pete...i will admit to having a bit of difficulty in following your very detailed history of the mathematical properties of the rhubarb triangle...but nevertheless first thing this morning i sat down with a bag of sweet william pears and a few sticks of rhubarb to see if i could make a model of a rhurbarb triangle out of the information you have provided.....looking at the finished triangle somehow i think i have either misread or misunderstood some of the data in your post.......i think it was the introduction of pears that has baffled me the most........any suggestions where i have gone wrong?....ta ken

adam.jpg

Ken, you've created an equilateral triangle by mistake. Usually this would not be a problem in normal, euclidean geometry but because you have placed the pears on the junctures of the rhubarb and not along the lengths then it makes it very unstable indeed. I hope you dismantled it carefully as hasty dismantling of a triangle of this composition can cause a butterfly effect rippling across the Pennines.
Creating a right-angled isosceles triangle is the suggested course of action to negate any possible disastrous consequences - and don't put the pears on the corners!!!!!
Pete

Yorkshire Lad wrote:I love your mathmatical theory that much Bernadine I have applied it domestically and it has provided me with some pretty damming information on the effort my lovely Jean is putting in . For instance when she does the IRONING (5+18+15+14+9+14+7) the effort she is putting in is only 82% the CLEANING is even worse at(3+12+5+1+14+9+14+7)= 66% but what is the most upsetting is when we make LOVE it's a paltry(12+15+22+5)=54% I can only assume she is going at it in a half hearted way . This worried me so much I confronted her on the subject and her immediate reply was :
Once for my birthday (54%) and once at christmas (54%) = 108% proved I was getting more than my fair share . Cannot argue with that theory can I !!
Cheers YL

Phil - you cannot give Jean more than 100% !!! So who's had the extra 8% I ask?
Pete

liverpoolken wrote:........any suggestions where i have gone wrong?....ta ken

adam.jpg

Ken
You have made a triangle of pears instead of a pair of triangles

Well after reading all that, if anyone ask me a question now, about the Yorkshire Rhubarb Triangle, I think I will have the answer they are looking for.
I't's amazing what you can learn on this thread.

Amazing!

denise knowles wrote:Well after reading all that, if anyone ask me a question now, about the Yorkshire Rhubarb Triangle, I think I will have the answer they are looking for.
I't's amazing what you can learn on this thread.

Denise may I just bring to your attention *section 5 of the official secrets act which I think you will find relates to among other things the secrets surrounding the said triangle so if you have at any time signed the aforementioned act I would think very carefully about divulging information on the subject to any Tom Dick or Harry and if you haven't then please don't speak to any Russian looking strangers .

*(1)Subsection (2) below applies where—.
(a)any information, document or other article protected against disclosure by the foregoing provisions of this Act has come into a person’s possession as a result of having been—.
(i)disclosed (whether to him or another) by a Crown servant or government contractor without lawful authority; or.
(ii)entrusted to him by a Crown servant or government contractor on terms requiring it to be held in confidence or in circumstances in which the Crown servant or government contractor could reasonably expect that it would be so held; or.
(iii)disclosed (whether to him or another) without lawful authority by a person to whom it was entrusted as mentioned in sub-paragraph (ii) above; and.
(b)the disclosure without lawful authority of the information, document or article by the person into whose possession it has come is not an offence under any of those provisions..
(2)Subject to subsections (3) and (4) below, the person into whose possession the information, document or article has come is guilty of an offence if he discloses it without lawful authority knowing, or having reasonable cause to believe, that it is protected against disclosure by the foregoing provisions of this Act and that it has come into his possession as mentioned in subsection (1) above..
(3)In the case of information or a document or article protected against disclosure by sections 1 to 3 above, a person does not commit an offence under subsection (2) above unless—.
(a)the disclosure by him is damaging; and.
(b)he makes it knowing, or having reasonable cause to believe, that it would be damaging;.
and the question whether a disclosure is damaging shall be determined for the purposes of this subsection as it would be in relation to a disclosure of that information, document or article by a Crown servant in contravention of section 1(3), 2(1) or 3(1) above.
(4)A person does not commit an offence under subsection (2) above in respect of information or a document or other article which has come into his possession as a result of having been disclosed—.
(a)as mentioned in subsection (1)(a)(i) above by a government contractor; or.
(b)as mentioned in subsection (1)(a)(iii) above,.
unless that disclosure was by a British citizen or took place in the United Kingdom, in any of the Channel Islands or in the Isle of Man or a colony.
(5)For the purposes of this section information or a document or article is protected against disclosure by the foregoing provisions of this Act if—.
(a)it relates to security or intelligence, defence or international relations within the meaning of section 1, 2 or 3 above or is such as is mentioned in section 3(1)(b) above; or.
(b)it is information or a document or article to which section 4 above applies;.
and information or a document or article is protected against disclosure by sections 1 to 3 above if it falls within paragraph (a) above.
(6)A person is guilty of an offence if without lawful authority he discloses any information, document or other article which he knows, or has reasonable cause to believe, to have come into his possession as a result of a contravention of section 1 of the M1Official Secrets Act 1911..

PS Just to warn you the winters are very cold in Siberia!!!

....pete.....reading the review of kate bush's new album '50 words for snow' i came the following which i thought might bring back some happy memories......not that i'm implying any inappropiate behaviour on your part......ta ken

It devotes nearly 14 impossibly beautiful minutes to Misty, a song on which Bush imagines first building a snowman and then, well, humping him, with predictably unhappy consequences: "He is dissolving before me," she sings sadly, not the first lady in history to complain about an evening of passion coming to a premature conclusion.