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Posted: **Sat Jan 14, 2012 8:46 am**

.. Leonard, my love.. I'm on fire for you tonight. Just.. on fire. [??]

[I'm not too sure how to punctuate that] [I mean, a sigh doesn't seem enough somehow]

.. anyway.. [collecting myself here].. I was just reading that the Paris/Sony event isn't 'til Monday.. so.. don't know when you'll be heading out there.. [without me, I mean]

[yes, now a sigh]

.. anyway, it seems an old thread just surfaced that has that dream I had of you and I having tea together somewhere atop the Chrysler Building. God, I haven't thought of that in a long while. In the thread, I was ruminating on its meaning having to do with the "phallus" or power symbol represented by that building.. even as there was parity between us, given we were enjoying a tea together up top this symbol of power.

.. my god.. so much has gone on since that time. Agent Longing and Violet started in with their adventure.. and.. well, these love notes I've started writing you.. [which I believe the erotic sections may have led to, in fact].. [at least in part].. [now that I try to put this whole thing together].. and.. well, now there's this feeling I have that you are in some manner there for me, my love.. [even if I can't really know that for certain]

.. anyway, now there's just to finish this writing, and see what the gods have in store.

.. and as to the writing.. I've been terribly frustrated today. I wanted to put some older material back in.. [given this new "idea" I have going].. only, I couldn't find it. And I searched and searched. I think that, in my alarm at the prospect of being sued, I may have lost some of the writing I removed, although that's not like me to do that.. but.. seems I did.

[another sigh]

.. I honestly don't know why this is taking me so long. It's hard to re-enter it, I guess, at this late stage [given I've read it over and over at this point].. and yet, I really need to in order to grasp the scope of the thing.. so.. I guess this is just a tough spot, at the moment.

.. [as to other conditions].. it's been gusty cold outside today, and so I didn't make it out to our lake. I really could have used that, too.. but, it would have been rough going in that bitter cold wind. [my angel]

.. anyway, my love.. you're to Paris.. (or soon, at least).. and I wish you just the loveliest time.

[just a sec]

.. I just looked up the weather forecast for Paris, and it looks to be rather cold. By Monday, it will be colder than the weekend.. so, it will be in the upper thirties.. and no chance, it seems, for snow. [I guess that's only fair, given you should only be in "snowy snowy Paris" while with me] [so the gods are with me on that one]

.. but, yes.. it looks to be a bit nippy.

.. okay.. let me see if I'm inspired by anything on youtube..

.. [time lapse].. [quite a bit of a time lapse, in fact]

.. anyway, this isn't exactly Paris, but I've always liked this scene, my love.. (it's what one has to do at times).. (especially on frustrating days like this one)..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKTQ4a3B ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. only, my list would start with you.

.. also on my list would be this film.. which puts us in Agent Longing territory, as well as Paris.. [oh, excuse me, Alphaville].. [or do I mean, Chinatownshire.. uh, ville].. [possibly]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGnQPpu2 ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. and lastly.. well.. something terribly moody, my love. Or "atmospheric," maybe I mean. If I could tell you what I feel for you on the piano, it might be like this, I think.. .. [has a bit of a noir feeling, too]

.. but first, my most tender kiss to you.. x.. (my angel).. (that we may meet tonight in our dreams)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeFTuW6s ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xx xxx .. x xxx x.. xx x ..

Posted: **Sun Jan 15, 2012 10:08 am**

.. my love, how are you?.. I'm wondering if you're in transit.. or.. don't know. Anyway, where ever you are, I do hope all is well.

.. it's been an interesting day, I'd have to say. Meaning, I'm feeling a bit better now, after having to look at a few things rather squarely. Too squarely, for my taste.. but sometimes one needs to do that. For me this meant breaking down, sobbing.. and then just letting go of all that, since what good does it do, anyway?.. And, surprisingly.. (as I said).. I'm feeling quite a bit better now. I just have my work cut out for me, and what else is new?

.. things are coming along writing-wise, so that's not at issue. Not directly, at any rate.

.. but, you know, my love.. given you're traveling 'n all.. [or about to be].. I really didn't want to make this a "heavy" post or anything. I thought.. gee.. if my beloved stops in here, I'd like to have something that might be, well, sort of fun to read, and to look at.. so.. let me see if I can get back on track with that..

.. actually.. as for the earlier part of my day, I thought.. [to keep things a bit on the lighter side].. but I thought I might invoke for the second time on this thread, the "F. Clause" [I think I'll call it].. [and no, my love.. this has nothing to do with Beautiful Losers, even though I know F. had some real doozies in there].. Actually, maybe I should call it the "C.F. Clause".. [just to make a clear distinction]

.. anyway, the point is.. uh.. I don't know.. when I get to this point with things, I do find it therapeutic to have this acted out for me in some way. I can't explain it, exactly, but somehow this helps.

.. so.. without further ado.. I again invoke "the C.F. Clause".. [oh, the "clause" itself is the second half of this, by the way].. [since I like to be "technically correct" with stuff like this]..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LN23qEr ... ure=relmfu
FULL SCREEN..

.. okay, that helped somehow. And while I'm still in the C.F. mode, I thought I'd post what I think of as an homage to.. well, to the "creative" sort.. and why it's just so difficult for artists, or entertainers, etc.. but why it is that--well, how they think about things doesn't always seem to mesh with "the real world" 'n stuff. [thankfully, I don't suffer from this in the least].. [by the way].. [in case you were wondering]..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2XvxDaIwCw
FULL SCREEN..

.. and, lastly.. (my love).. just in case you thought I was the only one who.. well.. check this out.. [I think we can all learn something from this, actually]..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=en ... IQQ2c&NR=1
FULL SCREEN..

[gosh, I feel redeemed somehow]

.. hey--wait.. why don't I

“THE DAVID SPADE”
1 bottle Whiskey
Serve on rocks.

“THE CHRIS FARLEY”
12 oz. Raspberry Vodka
12 oz. Lemon juice
10 oz. Ice Cream
Combine in highball glass and serve.

.. oh, maybe so you can see that better..

“THE CHRIS FARLEY”
12 oz. Raspberry Vodka
12 oz. Lemon juice
10 oz. Ice Cream
Combine in highball glass and serve.

.. okay, I'll get this done quickly, since I'm getting fast at these. So.. [as I think we've all noticed].. Spade's "Whiskey" is spelled with that dreaded 'e.' Now, you would think the consummate straight man would at least merit some proper whisky.. oh, and maybe the Fab Three over at Drinkify taking the time to venture a decent brand name, in fact. Of course, I think we all know the score by now.. [over at Drinkify, that is].. so..

.. oh, and that Spade should "Drinkify" to a whole bottle.. [when several would have been just as easy to manage].. well.. I'd chalk this up to laziness--as concerns the Fab Three, I mean--but, once again, I think we can recognize their methods. Actually, if you just concluded that the Fab Three were "smashed" by the time they got to Dave Spade.. [you know.. that fateful night they boozed their way through to the medicine cabinet].. [and you can take that any way you choose, at this point].. but, yes, if that were your conclusion, then you would be correct, and can move your place forward in line, as you await the final part of this contest.. and the chance to drink "THE LEONARD COHEN" and "THE VIOLET FLOWER".. not necessarily all at once, as that might set you back some.. but, at least throughout the evening. [however, only those of you from Bayonne, New Jersey, are eligible].. [sorry about that]

.. so, anyway.. [moving along here].. at first glance, one might think the "Ice Cream" in the C.F. "Drinkification" to be like the maraschino cherry atop the 12 ounces of Raspberry Vodka.. but I think we all know Drinkify a bit better than that.. [by now, at least].. and when you factor in the Lemon juice, and the stakes involved when "Combining in highball glass".. [not even bothering to call it 'a' highball glass] [by the way].. well.. I hardly think I need to spell this out for you. Oh, okay: s-p-e-l-l t-h-i-s o-u-t.

[you know, I'm really spoiling you guys]

.. alright, my love.. Oh. I did manage to get out to our lake today, even though it felt to be sub-zero out there. It truly did. I was wearing ski gloves and about a million layers of warm socks, but my fingers and toes--and face, even, were literally frozen when I got back. Also: as my hair was still a bit damp when I went out, I came home with "frozen curls" cascading down my back.(!)

.. so, yeah.. it's getting harder and harder, my love, to get out there. But, at least it was a fairly clear day today, and so there was a lovely early evening sky, with a vibrant gold sun peering out from between soft purplish clouds.. and when heading back, the clouds I saw were the sweetest pink.. and looked just like cotton candy..

.. anyway, stay warm, my angel.. and.. well, you are always in my thoughts, my love.. and, yes, I'm missing you.. but excited somehow that you'll be in Paris. [even if I'm not with you]

.. actually, I thought I'd leave you with another of this singer's numbers, as it's rather a nice melody, I think.. [oh, it appears the cameraman was really into her legs, seems like]..

.. okay, my kiss to you, my love.. x.. (keep safe)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqtCmMS7oKY
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx xx .. x xxx x.. xx x..

latest edit: I thought "spelt" should be spelled "spelled." [I needed a C.F. injection this morning: thus, my being here]

Posted: **Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:03 am**

.. my love, if you're in Paris.. well.. it must be in the middle of the night, and so you'd be asleep by now.. so, this is for your morning, to go with your coffee, and maybe a nice croissant. Oh, and then I guess it will be on to that Sony press event.. [where I understand a few fans are being smuggled in--okay, at least one of them won that German Rolling Stone contest, and it sounds like you both met once.. so.. yeah.. that might actually be a rather nice little reunion then].. .. [my angel]

[hmm.. let me see if anything strikes me over at

.. well.. I guess, no matter what happens, my love.. we'll always have Paris.. our own Paris, I mean.. (far from the..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QM1Nsvs ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. sorry if that ended on something of a dramatic note.. but.. well, you know how I get sometimes. I don't know, I feel both terribly pessimistic and ridiculously hopeful at the same time. I guess that's not the worst place to be.. (though I'd rather be in your arms, my love)

.. well, I was up way too late last night writing that last post, so I guess I need to get ready for bed now. I'm thinking of a nice mineral bath, in fact.. and I'll be thinking of you, my angel.. having just the most lovely thoughts of you..

.. if only I had the perfect song.. or the perfect words.. or..

[let me see if I can find something

.. okay.. I rather like this, and its tempo is maybe a good way to start your day, my love.. (and I do hope it will be a fun time--I'm sure it will be)..

.. but first, my most tender morning kiss, my angel.. x.. (my perfect.. perfect..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G4EQjFU ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx.. xx xx xx x.. xx..

Posted: **Tue Jan 17, 2012 2:27 am**

.. Leonard, my love.. how is Paris?

.. as to Going Home.. all I will say for now is that you should probably keep up the lazy bastard in a suit lifestyle, as I think you've been doing some terribly wonderful songwriting that way. [my angel] The experience of listening to this song, with the pace of it--the near "spoken-ness" of it--really does have me hanging on each and every word. It's odd to say that, as I usually hang on each and every word of yours, in any event.. but.. I don't know, it's to think out loud almost just to listen to it.. or to this.. well, prescription from God, it seems.
.. anyway, I want to keep listening to it before I say more.

.. as for me.. it's not been the easiest couple of days. Could it be my not being with you in Paris?.. is that why I keep finding myself fending off this yearning sadness that's encroaching on me?.. I honestly don't know, my love.. it's just hard not to feel blue right now..

.. my kiss to you.. x.. (my angel)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3uI08WU ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. x xxx.. xx x..

Posted: **Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:01 am**

.. Leonard, my love.. my angel.. how are you?.. I assume you are home.. and safe and sound. [x]

.. I thought I'd take another look at your song tonight.. though I fear I won't be able to conjure what it stirred in me this afternoon. It was so entirely moving, and somehow nurturing in its complexity.. as if it had "underlined" itself, in such a way which had met with me such mind and feeling.

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/c ... -song.html

GOING HOME
by Leonard Cohen

I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a sportsman and a shepherd
He’s a lazy bastard
Living in a suit

But he does say what I tell him
Even though it isn’t welcome
He just doesn't have the freedom
To refuse

He will speak these words of wisdom
Like a sage, a man of vision
Though he knows he’s really nothing
But the brief elaboration of a tube

Going home
Without my sorrow
Going home
Sometime tomorrow
Going home
To where it’s better
Than before

Going home
Without my burden
Going home
Behind the curtain
Going home
Without the costume
That I wore

He wants to write a love song
An anthem of forgiving
A manual for living with defeat

A cry above the suffering
A sacrifice recovering
But that isn’t what I need him to complete

I want him to be certain
That he doesn’t have a burden
That he doesn’t need a vision

That he only has permission
To do my instant bidding
Which is to SAY what I have told him
To repeat

Going home
Without my sorrow
Going home
Sometime tomorrow
Going home
To where it’s better
Than before

Going home
Without my burden
Going home
Behind the curtain
Going home
Without this costume
That I wore

I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a sportsman and a shepherd
He’s a lazy bastard
Living in a suit

.. there is great "dramatic build" to this song.. [which the violin so poignantly "elaborates"] [to borrow that word]..

.. and which eventually is emotionally underscored with the women's voices. [beneath Leonard's, I mean]

[I've italicized first where the violin comes in.. then the women's voices]

He wants to write a love song
An anthem of forgiving
A manual for living with defeat

A cry above the suffering
A sacrifice recovering
But that isn’t what I need him to complete

I want him to be certain
That he doesn’t have a burden
That he doesn’t need a vision

That he only has permission
To do my instant bidding
Which is to SAY what I have told him
To repeat

.. what's interesting here is.. well, as one experiences the emotional build of it.. while following as well the "prescription," as it were.. [what I referred to before as "God's prescription"].. but.. at the end of it all, what one is left with is.. well, no clear prescription, or directive, at all.. and yet, one has just had this momentous and moving experience in this "ascent"..

.. it's interesting too.. with the two stanzas below.. that on the one hand.. [as per the second stanza].. there is this rather demanding God here, who only grants "permission" to do his "instant bidding".. but at the same time.. [as per the first stanza].. this same God is concerned not to burden "Leonard" with needing to have a vision.. [nor, too, a "burden"]

I want him to be certain
That he doesn’t have a burden
That he doesn’t need a vision

That he only has permission
To do my instant bidding
Which is to SAY what I have told him
To repeat

.. but.. [as to such "vision"].. is it not "Leonard's".. "love song?".. his "anthem of forgiving?".. his "manual for living with defeat?".. his "cry above the suffering?".. "a sacrifice recovering?".. in telling us, is it not complete?

He wants to write a love song
An anthem of forgiving
A manual for living with defeat

A cry above the suffering
A sacrifice recovering

.. only.. as this "God" sees it.. this isn't what he needs him to complete.

.. instead, he wants

... him to be certain
That he doesn’t have a burden
That he doesn’t need a vision

That he only has permission
To do my instant bidding
Which is to SAY what I have told him
To repeat

.. I don't know.. I'm "in the sense of" something.. a predicament, I guess. There is the mind, there is "volition".. there is "intention".. a wish to do right.. or to "write a love song." There is "activity" in this. Intent. Action. At the same time, we sense there is some manner of "surrender" in life. There is "that which moves through us." It is not to relinquish the mind. Nor the will to do good, or write of love, even. But there is resignation in understanding, perhaps, the ineffectiveness of our personal designs.

.. somehow I'm put in mind of Hamlet's

.. Our thoughts are ours.. their ends none of our own.

.. Leonard, my love.. [as per the youtube link below].. this cinematic image came to me today.. [you'll know which one I'm referring to, as you come to it]

.. but I thought to posit this image here astride your elaboration of Self that is this song, and so much of your prior work. [Suzanne, of course, can't help but come to mind] As noted in this film, there is simply "state of mind".. it needs no "vision".. no forcing to "conclusion"..

.. but first, my angel.. I send again my tender kiss.. x.. (you're my treasure)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bow1ZJTV4L4
FULL SCREEN..

Going home
Without my sorrow
Going home
Sometime tomorrow
Going home
To where it’s better
Than before

Going home
Without my burden
Going home
Behind the curtain
Going home
Without this costume
That I wore

I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a sportsman and a shepherd
He’s a lazy bastard
Living in a suit

Posted: **Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:30 am**

Dear Violet,

You are my/our treasure. Thanks for the Chauncey Gardner clip.

XO

Posted: **Wed Jan 18, 2012 10:40 am**

.. thanks, I.F.. I'm still up.. fixing that post (!)..

.. the wind is a' howlin' outside.. I fear I'll be "powerless" soon.. [we'll see]

.. night night, and.. it's always nice to see you here..

v. xx x

Posted: **Thu Jan 19, 2012 9:41 am**

.. my love.. how are you?..

I'm so tired.. am up WAY too late again.. and so decided to take my "Monkees" material back to Santa's workshop for now. [I need to hit the hay, it seems]

.. anyway, I'm missing you more and more these days.. though I'll try not to dwell on that right now. I'm so looking forward to hearing your entire new album, and I don't even want to read any reviews of the songs I've not yet heard, just to keep "pure," as it were, my first "listening"..

.. anyway.. [youtube wise].. I'll leave you with something far too short, but terribly romantic..

.. my kiss to you, my darling.. x.. (my angel)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHkLSi7o ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xx.. xx xx.. xx xx..

Posted: **Thu Jan 19, 2012 5:50 pm**

.. my love.. here's the thing. I'm to Gotham tomorrow to pack the remaining stuff from my storage in Brooklyn, and crazy cuz will help me haul it all back here on Saturday. This means I'll be gone from these premises for a while. This all bodes well, actually. I'll pretty much have my entire, uh, "legacy" as far as "stuff" goes in one location, and can maybe toss a bunch of it, and.. I don't know.. start anew. I feel like "shedding" somehow. Starting fresh. One's history can encumber one sometimes.. and

actually, I may use "Violet" as the first name of a pen name, I'm thinking. I'm actually thinking I've become the person I've portrayed myself as here. I mean, I've tried to be faithful to "myself," as it were, in and amid these pages.. but in so doing.. I've somehow "become" this person I see as well. Odd, that. But it's sort of true. I'm not sure I can explain it more than that. Something about "writing" oneself affects you. For me, in a good way, I think. I mean, I've helped myself to keep going.. even when it almost seemed impossible to. Even now.. when I'm a little bit scared, and uncertain as to what the future may bring.

I still hope to be done with the writing before your album is widely released at the end of the month, but it means working like the devil.. so.. I'll try not to focus too much on these posts, then. I don't know why.. sometimes they come easily.. and sometimes they're frustrating to write--I mean, if the goal is to put something together worth reading, or at least in some way entertaining.

.. anyway, my love.. I'm excited for you. I just read the Guardian interview, and.. well, you sound good. In a good place to work, and even tour. I'm so very happy to read that.

.. all my love, and hope, too.. for new beginnings..

.. I'll leave you with this right now.. and my kiss.. x.. but this, not in order to be sad.. but sweetly hopeful..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b_Yh1f3 ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. x xx.. xx xx.. xx x.. xx xx.. xx..

Posted: **Sat Jan 21, 2012 8:33 am**

.. my love.. how are you?

.. I am back in the Northernlands, given there were snowstorm warnings, and all I could think of was having another unfortunate U-Haul experience--only this time with snow. So, I bagged the whole thing 'til next week.

.. I did go to Gotham, however--oh, and I got the New Yorker, and raced to find your poem.. and it made me all tingly just to see it. (!)

[I'm actually going to stash this issue in some "special" place where I won't lose it] [after I get tired of keeping it under my pillow, that is]

[have I told you how much I adore you lately?].. [my angel?]

.. so.. I had lunch with A. [haven't seen her in quite some time].. She's in rehearsal for some wild Baudelarian play of some kind. I have no idea what to expect, but I guess I'll find out. Actually, she told me that one of the ensemble was fired due to "irreconcilable diva issues" , and so A. suggested me.. [as in "moi"].. for the part. [?????????????].. [I had no idea was in the running as an actor, by the way].. Luckily I was passed on due to the fact that I can't yet pronounce that difficult in-the-back-of-the-throat French 'r' sound.

[sound effect: no comment]

[A. is such a trip, I have to say].. [gosh, what if they decided they wanted me for the part??.. I'd have to learn how to act and perfect that difficult in-the-back-of-the-throat French 'r' sound, all in the same play!]

"LE PAIN"

.. so, we had lunch at one of those "Le Pain de Quotidien" places that keep cropping up all over Manhattan. [I'm not too sure of the translation on that, but I'm guessing it has to do with how you feel after receiving a poor real estate quote].. [pretty sure]

.. actually, "Le Pain," as I like to call it.. has some fairly, uh, distinguishing features, I have to say..

First off, this place is TOTALLY into bread--fairly nice bread, in fact--which comes with just about everything you order. But does any BUTTER come with that bread?.. No. It doesn't. And this isn't just once that this has happened. No, this happens EVERY time, and I've been to quite a few of their various locations, at this point.

.. so, anyway.. A. mentioned butter to the waitress, and she returned with exactly one pat of butter. One. Well, there was quite a bit of bread on the table, and after giving it about one second's thought, A. decided she wasn't going to make do with just one pat of butter.. [I mean, this is A. we're talking about, after all].. but the place was pretty busy, and so it took quite a while to get the attention of someone [bussing tables, as it happens] who A. thought might possibly afford us a few more "pats," as it were. Well, that person disappeared, and before we knew it SEVERAL waiters came.. one at a time.. each with a handful of individually wrapped pats of butter. Oh, and one of them noticed what had happened and tried to take his pats back.. [to where ever they stealthily horde them in these places].. only A.. [who, of course, is extremely quick-on-the-draw with such things].. grabbed 'im, and said:

"Nu-uh."

[well, that showed him]

.. oh, and.. [on another such occasion].. after I got the waiter to bring me that "one" precious pat of butter, I then realized I had no butter knife. Well, I mentioned this to someone.. [I think it was another person bussing tables, in fact].. and before I knew it.. SEVERAL waiters descended upon me with butter knives--all at the same time. (!)

[and people complain Groucho is passé??]

.. SIMILARLY.. [while still on this "Le Pain" situation].. when you order a nice big pot of Breakfast Tea, they do NOT bring you any milk. Now, there is sugar on the table.. but no milk. THEN.. when you get a waiter's attention, and ask for some milk to go with your tea.. they always ask you the exact same question:

"Real milk?" .. [they ask] [with an emphasis on the "real"]

and you answer:

".. uhh.. yes." [is there any other kind??]

oh, and when they DO bring the milk, it's in this itty bitty little pitcher. [itty bitty]

.. okay.. this place.. [given this sort of thing happens every time with these people].. but, I mean, I think it's fairly safe to say at this point that this place is obviously trying to discourage butter and milk consumption. Of course, when they DO bring such items, it's all organic, and so they care enough to offer you just the very best. They just would rather you had never asked for these disgusting items in the first place.

.. alright.. well.. that pretty much sums up what is rapidly becoming.. [to those of us who are still disgusting enough to be consuming dairy]:

"Le Pain in Le Ass"

[could you imagine if I asked for an ashtray?..

[okay, I was going to suggest, "Le Pain in Le Ashtray".. but that doesn't seem quite right. "Le Pain in Le Butt".. [maybe].. [or, at least getting closer]..

.. my love, what do you think?.. of my first restaurant review, I mean. And, I mean, if I combine that with my new booze-talking skills, I think I might make a fairly nice little go of it. [possibly].. [if all else fails, that is]

.. anyway.. I miss you. But, I feel a bit excited somehow, and I'm not even sure why.

.. I did bring a print-out of the writing with me today, which was reading fairly well.. so..

.. anyway.. I guess I'm still pretty tuckered, after staying up way too late several nights this week.. so.. [need to stop doing that]

.. let me see if I can find something at

[yes: gone to youtube]

.. okay.. this somehow reminds me: I'm going to have to bite the bullet soon, and try that open mic. [my Birdland number is getting pretty tight, actually.. so].. [we'll see]

.. but first, my beloved.. I guess I'm excited because.. well, because you excite me. [I honestly don't know what else to say about it]

.. okay, my angel.. I send my kiss.. x.. and my love.. x.. (and just everything)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsGWAyjo ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. x xxxx .. xx xxx.. xx

Posted: **Mon Jan 23, 2012 5:43 am**

.. Leonard, my love.. my angel.. how are you?

.. it was terribly cold out today, with the world that winter wonderland it looks to be when it's freshly cloaked in such newly fallen snow. Still, I made it out to our lovely lake. I waited too long, of course, and so didn't have the benefit of what little sun there was today. Consequently, my hands froze.. [my hair again, as well].. When I wash my hair, I'll tie it to the side, and so it takes some time to dry--but this makes for some wonderful curls that way.. only.. well, you see what happens come wintertime. [most especially on cold bike rides] Oh, and my fingers (!).. I really thought that that was it this time.. that they would be frostbitten by the time I got home (!)

.. but our lake, my love, lay beneath a pure white blanket of snow.. and somehow--perhaps its being covered that way--but it had me feeling you were very far away.. when sometimes it's as though you are with me.. all around me, even.

.. actually, I was watching some of the film "Lion in Winter" today, with Kate Hepburn, and Peter O'Toole.. with the dialogue just so brilliant in that film. At one point, the queen.. [played by Kate, of course].. speaks of how she couldn't bear losing him.. [should she grant her husband, the king, an annulment].. and O'Toole exclaimed something to the effect of: how can you "lose" me?!.. I have you locked up in a tower.. I neither converse with you.. nor write you letters, etcetera.. and so, how could you lose me??.. And she merely said something to the effect of: can't you feel the connection?

.. and I couldn't help laugh at that.. [or cry, possibly.. if I chose to]

[sigh]

.. alright.. I won't spend too much time here this evening. Last night I tried to post something twice, but each time I was just so very tired.. and I knew if I pushed myself, I'd get my brain all stimulated.. and I'd never catch up on sleep, which is what I need to do just now.. so, I instead forced myself to just go to bed, hoping I'd at least have a dream of you. Well, it wasn't last night, but I did dream of you just recently.. only, I never mentioned it, as it was such a frustrating dream. We were wanting to kiss, only the circumstances were not amenable to that happening.. and so, I awoke dismayed feeling. [yes: dismayed]

[another sigh]

.. okay, well.. tomorrow starts a new week, and another opportunity to get this blasted thing I'm writing finished with. Or, at least, finished enough for now.. at which point you will no doubt show up on your white stallion.. [the one you armed yourself with in France, given those pesky Maosits you were being confronted with].. [wait--later to be replaced by pesky mystics?].. and then we shall ride off to parts unknown.. [where at the very least you will buy me that chocolate ice cream cone you will by that time owe me.. (methinks).. followed by a nice cup of tea] [perhaps].. [now, anything after that is not yet in the script].. [the one pertaining to my life, that is]

.. alright, my angel. As I may have mentioned before, I adore you.. x.. (and yes, I'm missing you.. very much)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuTzxvid ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xx .. xx xxx .. xxxx .. xx..

Posted: **Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:55 am**

.. my angel, I've got good news. I just found the material I thought I'd lost when I realized the "libel" problem I was facing--you know, when I started removing sections of what I'd written, which I now realize I can use.. [given that "idea" I keep rather cryptically referring to]..

.. so, yes, my love.. I am happy.. [for the moment, at least].. and want to celebrate by kissing you up and down and up and down and all over the place (!)

[sigh]

.. how are you, by the way?.. it looks like total pea soup out there today, so I'm abstaining from bike riding, although I may do some "dancercise" later.. [even though I barely have the room I used to have for that.. still, I have just enough, I guess]

.. anyway, I thought I'd "re-post" my Monkees material, which I took out last week--after posting it for just a short time.. but it was something like three in the morning, and I could no longer think straight at that point. So, apologies to the few of you who may have already seen this, although I have tweaked it, just a tad.. [my love, I'll get back to you in a sec].. [although you're included in this section as well, come to think of it]

.. okay, so.. here goes..

BACK TO THE STRIP

.. my love.. It looks like you had a nice time in Paris.. [oh, and in London].. but, I mean.. this google translate thing has GOT to be stopped. Check this out:

"I love to speak with Leonard
He’s a hunstman, not a leopard
He’s a motivationally deficient person born of unmarried parents
Living in a suit."

.. I mean, just WHO do they think they're fooling with that bul--

oh, wait.. I think that's FOXWOOD.

[never mind]

.. anyway, speaking of the Monkees.. [couldn't think of a good segue].. but, yeah.. I wondered how they faired indivi--

actually, what am I talking about?..

do you remember, my love.. (my angel).. (I miss you so much, by the way).. (and seeing such recent pictures of you I think only enhances that feeling).. but, anyway.. do you remember when I wrote about going out to dinner a while ago--when I told you I was imagining you next to me, as we massaged each other's thighs under the table?

actually, what was I jus

oh. So.. yeah.. one of the people who was there that night had JUST gone to see Peter Tork perform in New Jersey. [????????????].. I mean, what are the chances that someone would bring up seeing an ex-Monkee, given what I've been researching and writing about these days??.. but, yeah.. seems she's been an avid Monkees fan since she was like two-years-old, or something.. and so she just dove at the chance to see Peter Tork.. in New Jersey.. [Bayonne probably]

[first recorded "sigh" of the evening]

.. anyway.. it got me wondering what the other boys in the band were up to once the band split up.. and.. well, just the thought of looking them up individually on youtube sunk me into such a deep albeit momentary [thank god] depression that I decided to take care of things with one fairly painful youtube item.

now, while watching this.. [Dear Readers].. you might ask yourself the following:

1. Why is Micky Dolenz wearing a laminated outdoor tablecloth?.. [we may never know the answer to that one, I don't think]

2. Why is Micky Dolenz wearing a laminated outdoor tablecloth?.. [oh, I think I already asked that]

.. actually, since I'm something of a brit slang fan.. I rather love Davy Jones' reference to "the--

alright, I won't spoil it for you, but it's something of a euphemism for, well, "punch-up".. which I've also never heard before. Now, "fisticuffs," yes.. but "punch-ups??".. [sounds like something you do for your abs].. [silly brits]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DvLWSxbg8Hw
FULL SCREEN..

.. wait, was the break-up "real??".. [I'm entirely confused, at this point]..

by the way, don't you love these serious "historian" types brooding over the fate of "the Monkees?"..

.. okay, let me just see if I can quickly

“THE PETER TORK”
1 bottle Pinot Noir
Serve at room temperature.

“THE MICKY DOLENZ”
8 oz. Cachaça
8 oz. Grenadine
6 oz. Talisker Scotch
Combine in shaker and strain into cocktail glass. Serve.

“THE MICHAEL NESMITH”
4 oz. Sipsmith Gin
Serve on rocks. Garnish with wedge of pineapple.

“THE DAVY JONES”
2 oz. Vodka
Serve neat. Stir vigorously.

.. alright, that just took me seventeen hours to color code.. [in the correct font size--oh, and in "bold'].. so.. just briefly, then:

"Noir" just happens to be a favorite film genre of mine, so we can skip that one. [although I think the Fab Three over at Drinkify are perhaps being a bit "taunting" with that] [quite likely]

"Nadine".. is no doubt a code name. [or maybe just a favorite girlfriend].. [your call]

"Talisker" brand scotch just means I have more booze reading to do, since I really can't comment until I do that.

.. now.. "shake".. "cock".. "serve".. together seem to have some wild implications.. [and just might explain Micky's laminated loungewear, in fact].. [if you really start to think about it]

oh, and that Michael Nesmith should Drinkify to "Sipsmith".. well.. [actually, I'm drawing a blank] [it turns out]

oh, and: serving "neat".. and stirring "vigorously".. Well.. I may be somewhat new to booze talk, but this suggests the Fab Three think we're way stupider than they even think we think they think we are.

[sound effect: I'm actually just practicing my fast-paced forties "noir talk," which is a bit like booze talk--except it actually sounds like it's about booze, instead of racket ball]

[sound effect: that last line, except read by Woody Allen]

[end: insert]

.. anyway, I need to get back to work, my angel. Or, I need to at least start moving my body around, after sitting at the computer all day. Anyway, at least now I know where a lot of that excised material is, which gives me a bit more confidence with this whole thing.. [my perfect perfect specimen of a human being, and All of Manhood--Sexy Manhood.. for Ever and Ever and Ever.. throughout All of Time].. [I haven't done that in a while, my love].. [thought I'd upgrade a bit, too]

.. okay, let me see if I can find something that strikes my fancy over at

[yes: once again, gone to youtube]

.. okay. Actually, I'm sorry about the nasty feedback on this version of this song, but I rather like its mood.. it's very "summer".. and.. well, I think it will inspire some good dancercise this afternoon.. [need to get into my cut-offs now]

.. but first.. I send my kiss to you, my angel.. x.. (I'm sending it Express, in fact).. (my dearest love).. (my perfect perfect..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vk6GmiBS ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

.. xx xxx .. xxxx x.. x xxx. xxx .. xx..

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2012 12:54 am**

.. okay, my love, I couldn't help it. I'm like a child, and it's Christmas.. and

.. well, I had to take a sneak peek at your new album, especially as I received an email from Sony.. sending me to where I could listen..

.. so.. anyway, I just listened to Amen for the first time. [not to any of the others I haven't heard yet].. now, I won't say much yet, except to say.. well, I'm loving this entire album so far. I'm so very happy this is so. I'm just so excited (!)..

.. oh, and as you know, this makes me want to just kiss you up and down and up and down.. for sheer joy (!)

[sigh]

.. okay.. I'll keep listening to this song. It's such a nice long number too, and it really feels relaxed in itself and its length.. it just seems perfect.

.. well, as I said, I won't say more, until I listen more.

.. as for me, I'm taking a different tack than I had been, and going through the writing not budging once I hit a spot that needs further information--where formally, I'll have a note to "fill in," but I'll sometimes move on.. just to get the sense of the whole thing. Only, now I'm determined to fill it all in, and be finished.. at least for now. There's still a ways to go, but this is the best approach at this point. Then, I can look at the whole thing, once I'm done with this niggling stuff.

.. okay, I'll keep it together. You are such a wonderful artist.. you move me just so very much.

.. anyway.. my angel.. it looks like I'm to Gotham tomorrow to pack things.. then I'll be there again Friday and into Saturday, as I'd planned last week. So, things are moving forward, my love.

.. oh, but I can't help it, I feel like a kid. And I want to jump up and down, and dance around.. and

[well, you know the rest]

.. what can I give you right now that might equal my happiness?

.. actually.. I've wanted to post this for you for a while.. but.. I don't know, it never seemed quite the right time. But it's writing of mine that I feel rather good about. It's from a screenplay I wrote, and even if I never manage to make this film, I'm still quite proud of it as a piece of writing. It's my take on Ophelia.. and here, it's.. well, it's the first soliloquy I wrote for her. At some point, earlier in this thread, I did post the one I wrote as her last soliloquy, as well.

.. I don't know.. maybe I feel this character as I wrote it contains the very best in me. All that I came to be, at some point. All that I am. Not in the tragedy aspect , but in Ophelia's person. The order of person I made her.. even as she couldn’t entirely bring together the disparate pieces of herself, so to become what she might have become. I wrote it in verse.. avoiding much of the arcane language of Shakespeare, but keeping to word choices that felt to me to be "Shakespearean" sounding.. at least to my ear. I enjoyed writing it a great deal.

.. so, here it's that I have Ophelia realizing how her actions--her complying with the wishes of her father, Polonius.. [in having her maid turn Hamlet away at the door].. but it's her realizing how her actions may have destroyed all her chances with her beloved Hamlet.

I’ll send you this kiss first, my love.. x.. (as all my heart is in that, too)

[later note: post this excerpt was a timely thing, and so, now it's been removed]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_h1ept8r ... re=related
FULL SCREEN..

Posted: **Wed Jan 25, 2012 7:41 am**

OPHELIA
(almost a whisper)
What have I done?..
(lighting a candle)
Hamlet will judge me harshly, even as I
am my father's servant alone.. and not
my own..

Ophelia sits before the mirror at her dressing table (where
there stands the oval portrait of her father). She's in her
nightgown, her skin pale and luminous in the candlelight..

I read this early tonight on my phone at the library. I’m so glad that I choose tonight to ease drop on you. This is lovely violet, very well done. I hope one day that I get to see it on screen though it plays very well in my mind.

Posted: **Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:49 am**

Cate wrote: I read this early tonight on my phone at the library. I’m so glad that I choose tonight to ease drop on you. This is lovely violet, very well done. I hope one day that I get to see it on screen though it plays very well in my mind.

.. thank you, Cate. That's a charming image of you reading Ophelia's soliloquy on your phone at the library (!).. I hope you get to see it on screen as well. I have a few lines out in that regard, but.. well.. we'll see. Never say never, I guess. Although it's true I've come close to saying that. [at times]

[sigh]

.. Leonard, my love.. I honestly can't get enough of your song Amen. I wish I weren't so tired just now, as I'd like to do it justice.. but I'll just briefly say that you are really maintaining your edge with this song--it conjures Everybody Knows in that respect.. though of course with the sound and pace of it entirely different. It's also the second song of yours that to me has a wonderfully Waitsian quality.. the other being That Don't Make it Junk. [which I know I spoke about earlier on this thread] Anyway, I'm somehow reminded of your speaking of writing in terms of what Yeats called 'the foul rag and bone shop of the heart.' To me that's what you may well share with Waits. Perhaps it's how you have these foul rags and bones lay claim to the heart, which is sort of the magic of it all.. your special kind of magic, I mean.. [which you seem to be in complete command of with this new album, my love]

.. oh, and gosh.. I guess, given I'm trying not to really read too much in the "review" department just now, as I'd like to do so after I've heard the entire album first.. but.. I mean.. I hadn't noticed your Joe's Pub Press Conference, even (!).. oh, and that ain't a shabby little sign on Times Square neither (!)

[my god]

.. well, I'm terribly terribly excited. It's really all I can do not to just listen to the whole album at this point.. but.. well.. we'll see how I do. It's only a few days, I guess, before that precious CD will arrive up here on I'm So In Love With You Mountain. [as I just renamed it]

[double-triple sigh] [to go with the double-triple scoop of chocolate ice-cream you are going to owe me, very very soon].. [my angel]

.. speaking of.. I actually didn't do the Gotham thing today, as I decided I could take care of business this weekend. And it was a good thing too, as I had a very good day writing wise. I actually think I figured something out that I didn't even realize I was trying to figure out. .. but, yes.. I now have a deeper understanding of something, which yielded some rather choice lines, I think.

[I just love writing you as Agent Longing, by the way].. [although I believe I've already mentioned that]

.. alright, my angel. My saying I miss you doesn't quite say enough, I don't think. But, yes.. I miss you.. and

what I've decided to post for you is a version of this song I was listening to today, not realizing before just how very sexy it was. I mean, it's rather a sad song, actually.. but this version takes it in a slightly different direction.. (although.. perhaps it does speak of my sadness, too.. with wanting you so much)

.. my kiss to you, my angel.. x.. (I do hope all is well)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP-m1RSAY6k&feature
FULL SCREEN..

.. x xx .. xx xx .. xx xxx .. xx..

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