A work in progress

[dangermouse]

I think your lyrics are really cool Kjex.
"Descend
Upon
My bed
Deceased"
Wow, like some kind of necrophilic love affair, awesome!

And I agree with LIzzy.
I love Anjani's song "Kanaloa."
But then I think her music is cool anyway, especially the Sacred Songs CD.
Amazing things happening on there.
I don't understand why that CD wasn't a huge hit.

[KjeXXXer]

.



Thank you, Dangermouse. I aim to please, innnit?

I was thinking that there were words/lyrics that would follow that bit of hope. It seems there could be a way bringing it back around for a sturdy, dramatic ending. Of course, you are hearing what you're thinking... and I'm only guessing. A rather different perspective, to say the least .


~ Lizzy

Oh, indeed. You're a champ for even bothering.

It could be placed in between the last two paragraphs. However I don't think it should go on for too long, might take away from the mood of the song. And I don't really feel that hope has a place in this work, it's more of an expression of bereavement, a woeful explanation of a problem, without any solution presenting itself.

[Manna]

Is part of this song to be used as a refrain or chorus or is it performed just straight through as written? Have you generated a tune for it? How long is the song? Are there musical breaks?

I guess maybe I'd like to hear it. When you're singing, it can have a prodigious effect on the words. The words can change meaning when supported by a tune, even performed by another performer, the meaning can change.

Hmm, speaking of which, and by way of example, I just heard someone else (not BD) sing Positively 4th Street. When I hear BD sing it, it sounds like a pissed off kick in the balls to some annoying hang-around or ex-friend, anyway, to a man. When this other person sang it (WHOWHOWHOWHOWHO? Oh, man, I'm sorry I can't think of his name. Imagine me pulling out hair here, squinting and scrunching up my mouth. It's someone I should know, probably someone you should know too. It's not on my pod, I might have heard it on the radio.) Anyway, blah blah blah and bad punctuation - it sounded more as if addressed to an unrequited love, as if the singer were trying to cover his sadness with anger.

[KjeXXXer]

Hey, Manna.

It's performed straight through, and I have a way for it to be sung. Bear in mind though, this is a metal song, so for the first three verses it won't be sung as much as grunted, haha.
I think it could be about four minutes long, and it does contain a few breaks, mostly within the last few paragraphs.