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Ciao Lizzytysh,

I will take your advice. I will try to focus.

Remember this poem.

You in the daylight
worms hidden beneath the dirt
no fishing today

Yes! You wrote this. You ARE a poetess. Worms hiding in the dirt from Lizzytysh. Wonderful.

You might know you'd pick the worm one. Note the word "You". I don't even fish. Simple ditty.........Focus.

Vesuvius ~ Since you're off digging up bones for bestowing of your encouragement, I'll repost the others I wrote while experimenting with the Haiku formula, per SAndra's idea. It was a lot of fun. I notice you didn't participate, however. I wonder why.

"Posted: Sun Jul 21, 2002 11:02 pm Post subject:

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"Hi Sandra.....Since life without risk is a life not worth living [to paraphrase Socrates for my own purposes , I'll try:


You in the daylight
still glow from within, holding
the light of the moon.


That's my attempt.

~Lizzytysh

Alternatives:

You in the daylight
glow from within, still holding
the light of the moon.

OR

You in the daylight
glow from within, holding still
the light of the moon.

I better stop now.

Don't recall whether Haikus are titled, however if they were, mine would be: "Calla lilies, women, and moonstones" ~ the order in which they were considered, the natural images for which I wrote. "

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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 1:22 am Post subject:

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" OK, second attempt:

You in the daylight
sounds of the night gone and I
with the eve await.

~Lizzytysh "

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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 1:34 am Post subject:

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" 3rd attempt [this is fun ]:

You in the daylight
worms hidden beneath the dirt
no fishing today.

~Lizzytysh

Last edited by lizzytysh on Mon Jul 22, 2002 1:58 am, edited 1 time in total "

NOTE DATED 04/16/03: I'm wondering why you didn't select one of the others for your encouragement. .

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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 1:41 am Post subject:

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"4th attempt:

You in the daylight
surrounded by verdant hues
Spring returns again.

~Lizzytysh "

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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 1:47 am Post subject:

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" 5th attempt:

You in the daylight
As I'm calling it a night
Haiku season ends.

~Lizzytysh "

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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 2:30 am Post subject:

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" 6th attempt [topical for bedtime]:

You in the daylight
faeries of the night hidden
dancing beneath ferns.


Alternative:

You in the daylight
faeries of the night hiding
dancing beneath ferns.


Goodnite ~ Lizzytysh "

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Well, just for the record, Vesuvius, I'll copy and paste some encouragement that comes under the term "clear ," by the originator of the thread. Not that I agree, however, simply an example for your perusal:

Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2002 3:02 am Post subject: amazing Lizzitysh!!!!!!

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" Lizzitish!!!!
I am amazed.......
Your have great creativity........
This one is my favourite of all you wrote:

You in the daylight
glow from within, holding still
the light of the moon "


Just can't quite put my finger on the difference between your brand of encouragement and that of Sandra, who writes poetry herself. Could that perhaps be the difference ?

Poetically yours ,
Elizabeth

I need this whole thread explained to me

did someone mention numbers earlier???

there are 3 types of people who can count;
those who can
and those who can't


there are also 10 types of people who understand binary
those who do
and those who don't


sorry to interrupt
Pete

Ciao Lizzytysh,

Oh, Lizzytysh, You are wrong. These are not dug up bones!. These are lovely gems strung together. Each sparkles, but none sparkles more than the worms.

Yes, true, I do not write poetry. I encourage only. Because to me life without risk is a life worth living.

Vesuvius

Elizabeth, you are hiding your light under a 'thicket.'

Elizabeth
I like the third one best.

'....holding still..."

is, to me, the key aspect. It enables the completeness of it all.

Pete

Vesuvius ~

Well, you're right in there with the worms, I guess. They don't risk much, either. In fact, they weren't even hiding from anyone, as you'd thought. They were just going about their merry crawl beneath the dirt.

The worms referred to were what we, at least in Michigan, call "night crawlers" and come out above the ground only after a night of rain. They're very large and in the morning, can just be picked up straightaway off the ground, but they only come up there in response to the rain. It was a rather loose inclusion of the "season" requirement, with reference to summer rains [lack thereof].

I stand corrected that you weren't digging up bones. You obviously were digging up worms, and to think that worms can sparkle ......hope your fishing went better than that of the "poem" 's subject.

Byron ~

Yep, just me and the faeries, beneath the ferns . We'll just keep dancing, while you and the other poets keep on writing. That light needs to remain fern-filtered when it comes to me and poetry .

~ Elizabeth

Hi Pete ~

I like your reasoning for your choice and I agree. It's actually my favourite, too. 1st attempt, 3rd version of it. Thanks. Out of all of them, it's the one that merited posting, no disrespect to Vesuvius and sparkling worms .

~ Elizabeth

Elizabeth

It's very interesting to see how one word ... "still" has such an effect within these lines when presented in varying ways.

'still holding'.... continuing to hold

'holding still' .... keeping it steady

quite an effect, just by placing 'still' before or after the verb.

and the use of 'still' in 'still glow' tranferring from adverb use to adjective.

I never did this at school..... well I probably did but I didn't pay attention in my English lessons still, that's my excuse.

Pete

~ true. And even on the "holding still," it's also a more archaic[?]/obscure[?] way of saying the same as "still holding" ~ still the meaning I'd intended, or would that be the meaning I'd still intended? "What a difference a place[ment] makes...... / 24 little adverbs...." ~ pure silliness this soon upon waking.

Thank you to both you, Pete, and you, Byron, for your compliments. I forgot that aspect of your posts when I responded......me/poetry/compliments ~ not a match made in heaven .