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Hi, Can't pass by this thread without casting my vote for what it's worth. It's possibly the hopeless romantic in me but Being With You gets my #1. While trying my best not to "gush" as requested, I have to draw attention to the Beckettian echoes, with it's raw honesty, nihilistic humour and poetic earthiness. I could go on..... but i won't.

clo wrote:Hi, Can't pass by this thread without casting my vote for what it's worth. It's possibly the hopeless romantic in me but Being With You gets my #1. While trying my best not to "gush" as requested, I have to draw attention to the Beckettian echoes, with it's raw honesty, nihilistic humour and poetic earthiness. I could go on..... but i won't.

4. Being With You

Being with you
Is like being stung by bees
Being with you
Is like a long burning pee
Being with you
Is like nuclear waste
I try to smile
But I can't make the face
Being with you
Is like a shark attack
I pray that I'm eaten
So I don't have to go back
Being with you
Is like having every disease
Hopefully I'll succumb
And float away on the breeze

.. personally, I like the poem's happy ending.. yes, Ren has you on a rather dire-seeming Beckettian raft of sorts.. floating upon raw sewage.. and yet we're left feeling, well, in the words of Leonard (always nice to get an L. plug in, now and then).. "light as a breeze".. it's very "contra expectation"..

So, good choice, clo!

.. so.. let's see that's:

Worm Poem: 2

Laundry Poem: 3 (yay!)

Being With You: 1

Signed,
Violet.. [hmm.. V. M. Peabody, was my schoolmarm bit.. but she would make a good poll worker, I think.. so]..
Violet M. Peabody, [Resident] Professional Poll Worker

.. with Dick and Henning as some sort of -- hey, kwills, any stuff on Henning yet??

Isn't it just fascinating how different our close analytical readings of this work are!
For me, the ending though seemingly 'light as a breeze', is actually fatal. Note the speaker's wish to 'succumb' to a 'disease'.
I hope it wins!

Psst, M,Violet you are M aren't you? am I allowed a vote being a secret agent in disguise and all? if so I vote for 'She Smells' because the last line had me laughing out loud, though I admit 'Being With You' is a very close second.Can I have two votes?

I haven't had time to check out Henning so far but I have sent out a few feelers,but my informer has been sent to jail for improper behaviour,apparently for feeling something he shouldn't have!

Until my next report this is Bond kwills IS Bond over and out.

Oh, and yes this is getting rather complicated!

If Kwills is having two votes then I would also like to vote for Being With You as well as the Worm one

I'm off.
Someone will have to pm me with the outcome if I don't return before the votes are counted.
(I have been clapped in irons again , err... I mean there's a HUGE blow up man winking through the window at me .. ahem, I mean I'll be back sometime soon...)
Bonne chance Ren!

A
x

clo wrote:Isn't it just fascinating how different our close analytical readings of this work are!
For me, the ending though seemingly 'light as a breeze', is actually fatal. Note the speaker's wish to 'succumb' to a 'disease'.
I hope it wins!

.. oh, yes, Clo.. but I didn't say he didn't croak (!).. and yet.. even still.. we are left with a sort of "breeze" like reprieve.. I suggest.. [plot points in that moment discounted, as it were].. so you see?.. we're on the same page, so to speak..


.. k & a.. I shall return in a sec.. (k.. this is getting complicated.. oh, and I haven't ruled yet on the 2 vote thing yet.. so keep your little banana outfit on)..

M.

Well Violet,
having given due consideration and thought to the new hot contenders, and whilst acknowledging their undoubted gravitas and profundity, I cannot be moved from my original choice of the breathtaking - Being With You. It continues to resonate with me even the morning after! What more can i say.....?

Can this count as another vote??

sadly Ren has shown no hint that he knows there is an art to writing junk poetry, as there is to writing good poetry. none of his junk poetry displays the slightest subversive talent, so no votes from me.

clo wrote:Well Violet,
having given due consideration and thought to the new hot contenders, and whilst acknowledging their undoubted gravitas and profundity, I cannot be moved from my original choice of the breathtaking - Being With You. It continues to resonate with me even the morning after! What more can i say.....?

Can this count as another vote??

.. hi Clo.. I'm at least glad you have given this due consideration (unlike some lazy parkers around here).. and yes, given your enormous enthusiasm.. I think that that should count as 2 votes.. (I'm now realizing the complete capriciousness of the power I now exert here.. Ren is wrong -- I'm the boss!)

.. I'll do the tally thingy later, Clo.. after I sip my mint julip.. and dream of Harry.. in his underwear..

NOTICE TO BRONZING VOTERS: I've decided to try to put myself in the mind of Harry.. I mean, in order to see which Ren "pome" he might choose.. (if he had a gun to his head, that is).. anyway, I came up with this one, not just because it happens to be the one I voted for.. but also because..

3. Fabric Softener (People Always Leave You At The Laundromat)

Poor little fabric softener
People always forget to take you home
No one cares much about you
It seems you're on your own

Now it's true detergent
Costs so much more
But why treat fabric softener
Like some kind of whore?

It comes in bottles
Green and blue
It makes clothes soft
For me and you.

Now detergent gets out
Really tough stains
What does fabric softener do?
Well it just smells like rain.

.. well.. let's see.. I guess I'm sort of winging it here, but I'm thinking that Harry is the kind of golf enthused laundromat patron who might actually treat fabric softener like some kind of whore.. or wait -- maybe I'm thinking of Tiger Woods.. ANYWAY.. I'm sticking to this theory.. even though, now that I'm analyzing it, I have no idea what it means.. probably only Harry would know.. (the subversivey part of him, I mean).. Well, anyway, that's the best I can do.. oh, and I've decided to try to work less on these posts, since Ren isn't paying me to do this (so, put that theory to rest, why don't you)..

.. okay.. so here's the tally thus far -- oh, and thanks to Harry's absentee ballot (as it were), the Laundry pome is ahead by, well his very vote!!..

She Smells: 1

Worm Poem: 3

Laundry Poem: 4

Being With You: 3


.. alright well.. voter turnout seems to have ebbed.. better hurry on down, it you want to weigh in on Ren's final bronzing..

.. oh, and kwills.. what's going on with this Henning situation?.. any case, try not to use such touchie feelie informers.. I believe Henning's German.. they're not into that sort of stuff.. now Dick..

.. okay, I guess we'll be winding this up soon..


Violet M. Peabody, Resident Harry Harasser

Violet wrote:

.. Oh, I believe you're wrong.. Ren's poems are subversively "complicit".. so complicit.. you don't even see the subversiveness, and yet I assure you, it's there.. I hope that explains things.. and I hope to see you vote.. I'd hate to have to have Dick try and persuade you..

I wrote better poems than this when I was dead recently.

just want to clarify one thing, I am a big fan of Geoffrey. I just don't think this particular identity of his works. all too easy. writing nonsense poems is an art but Ren is not doing it.