Let's talk about A Life of Errands

Sohbet · Post by **Sohbet** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 5:16 pm

Dear Vesuvius and Lizzytysh, Excellent observations. You're right, Lizzytysh, now is not the time to comment on what these things might mean. I am keeping a list of everybody's ideas, which I will post at whatever time seems right, so that we have one centralized place to look at when we want to think about what all these observations might "mean" (don't you hate that word?). Oh, yes, we don't have to do just mechanics and visuals. I've been thinking about vocabulary choices in the sense of everyday words and more specialized words, and messages expressed in the most basic form (re-statements, I guess). For example, the first sentence states that a person who in old age has a life of service to others is lucky. However, there are interesting layers of possible meaning embedded in the poet's expression. I think re-statement has value in trying to ascertain basic communication before we think about how the poet's choices enhance or subvert it.

jurica · Post by **jurica** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 7:48 pm

i think i didn't brake any rules!
i said something like: he uses a 'you will' form as if he knows the future, but what i wanted to say is not: the poet knows the future, but: 'he uses a form which is used when you know the future'.
i only wanted to explain my remark. didn't brake no rules.

but i'm by no means offended because you wrote that. i'll not be able to visit here as much as i used to because i started to work at this firm where i have to spend virtualy the whole day, and i can't use the internet there (althought i work at the computer!)...

i don't have any more to say anyway, so i'll just wait to see whot the others come up with.

Sohbet · Post by **Sohbet** » Thu Oct 09, 2003 8:10 pm

That's cool, Jurica. Thank you for elucidating. Your new job--I think that sounds awful! What kind of a monster firm would make you spend the whole day at work! It's unbelievable. AND not let you get on the internet when you need to. Well, hang in there, buddy. Throw a spanner in the works whenever you can. Foment revolution. Leave seditious literature lying around. Dress disgracefully. Be ever so slightly rude-- just enough that they can't be sure and so fire you. Push the envelope. They can't stop you from thinking whatever you want. (Or can they?)

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 2:28 am

Ciao Jurica,

I am sorry you will be away from the internet and this intense discussion. Your ideas are excellent and you add much to the subject.

Vesuvius

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 2:44 am

Dear Jurica ~

I hope you get promoted out of that firm into one where Internet is an option for you [presuming all your other needs and preferences in the job are met, as well]. I, of course, loved Sohbet's suggestions for your corporate adjustment

! I know you'll surprize yourself with coming up with something else, and I look forward to seeing what it will be. In the meantime, I'll miss your input here and everywhere else! Come as often as you can!

See you later, valued poster

!

~ Elizabeth

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 6:52 am

Ciao Lizzytysh,

The poem seems to be a mass of sheared lines rather than Leonard lacking an understanding of punctuation. "A Life of Errands" contains predominantly four trochees per line, or a trochaic tetrameter. Shear genius!

Vesuvius

P.S. And I am not self-absorbed.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 7:48 am

P.S. Vesuvius ~ Any time a cat expresses himself in terms of feet, head [or lack thereof ~ headless], and paws [I mean "pause"], you rest-assuredly have one, self-absorbed cat, trying to figure out where to groom first

. But, please don't shear the cat.

I have a feeling Sohbet is going to be delighted with your observation......puuuuuurrrrrrrrrrr

.

~ Lizzytysh

Vesuvius · Post by **Vesuvius** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 9:55 am

Ciao Lizzytysh,

Your reply made me laugh so hard I choked up a hairball.

Perhaps Professor Sohbet will be delighted that at least one member knows what headless feet, sheared lines, silent feet, and even the much maligned crowded feet mean in poetry.

Just keep repeating to yourself: Scansion is not scary! Scansion is not scary! Scansion is not scary!.....

Vesuvius

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 2:35 pm

Hey, Vesuvius ~

I knew that the essence of your observation was serious [hence, my very serious comment on the anticipated pleasure of our professor

]. The "X"s and "sheared lines" made it clear, even had there been serious doubt. I didn't see where you joined here to make fun of it all.

However, you're very correct that I don't know the correct terms and applications for the mechanics of poetry ~ hence, this exercise being one of risk-taking for me, in that regard. I couldn't begin to analyze it from that perspective. However, part of the inherent value of group exercises is that there's room for and value to be gleaned from multiple perspectives [including mine

~ puuuuurrrrrrrrr]!

However, despite my clearly seeing that there was relevance and substance to your observation doesn't stop me from teasing you in cat language, you who have such a notorious history of "couching" [my original, as well as current, intentional word use ~ as a favourite spot for reclining felines] your commentary in feline-appropriate verbiage

.

As for the mantra you're suggesting, I can't take on another one of which I do not know the meaning. The one I paid for with TM ~ circa 1976 ~ will just have to last. It's holding up well, so far.

However, if you decide to share what it means, I stand to learn something about poetry mechanics. But then, I do have a book of poetry terms, so I can also look there. Or is scansion just a standard word that I don't happen to know?

I'm glad you finally got that hairball out. All that choking is a bummer! Meanwhile, laughter is always good.

Ciao

, Vesuvius.

~ Elizabeth [puuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrr

~ which was, indeed, a very serious compliment to you]

Now, back to "A LIfe of Errands," for which I'll return later with another observation. I'm late for work right now!

Tchocolatl · Post by **Tchocolatl** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:36 pm

A LIFE OF ERRANDS

If You Are Lucky
You Will Grow Old
And Live
A Life Of Errands.
You Will Discern
What People Need
And Provide It
Before They Ask.
You Will Drive Your Car
Here And There
Delivering And Fetching
And Neither The Traffic
Nor The Weather
Will Bother You
In The Least.
You Will Whip Down The 405
To San Diego
To Pick Up An Acorn
For Someone's Proverb
And So On And So Forth.
In Spite Of The Ache
In Your Heart
About The Girl You
Never Found
And The Fact That
After Years Of
Spiritual Rigor You Did Not Manage
To Enlighten Yourself
A Certain Cheerfulness
Will Begin To
Arise Out Of Your Crushed
Hopes And Intentions.
How Thirstily
You Embrace Your Next Commission:
To Sift Through The Sunglasses
At A Lost And Found
In Las Vegas
Just A Few Hours
Across The Desert.
Your Hair Is White
You Have Breasts
And A Gut
Over Your Belt
You Are No Longer A Boy,
Or Even A Man
But A Sense Of Gratitude
Enlivens Every Move You Make.
Yes, Sir, These Are The
Very Gold-Rimmed Pair
She Left In The Plastic Tray
Beside The Dollar Slot Machines.
No, Sir, I Am Not Lying.

December 31, 1999

I bring it here. I know. It is very easy to go to the Blackening Pages to read it, but it is even more easy to stay here to read - and comment, hopefully.

What can I add at this point that would not be too soon... ? Let say : The poem has this title, and was finished (or dated) the last day of the last month of the last century.

I bite my tong (oh! another big nice lapsus for my collection)and wait for the rest.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 3:42 pm

Tchocolatl ~

Thanks for bringing it here. It's funny that [at first

] my mind perceived it as your having repeated it here, i.e. bringing it to page 2, so we wouldn't have to keep flipping back to page 1

~ then I remembered [still on my first cup of coffee

], that I have it "here," but not on the screen! Your kind gesture may actually result in more participation! I hope so

. If not, at least anyone reading it can put our own observations into more relevant context [if they're not inclined to keep flipping over to Blackening Pages].

I also like the way you broke down even further what December 31, 1999 amounts to. I'm glad that Sohbet has given us the latitude of the "nth" degree of seemingly "ridiculous" ~ some of mine will no doubt generate in me some internal dialogue of, "Has it come to this.....has it really come to this.......[and wasn't it a l-o-o-o-o-n-n-n-g w-a-a-a-a-y d-o-o-o-w-w-w-n]

!?!"

I'm so glad to see you come into it.

~ Lizzytysh

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 4:09 pm

OK, my own next observation:

There are a total of 201 whole words, with one contraction [counting as 1 additional "implied" word], and one number [counting as 1 additional "word"].

If the bracketed delineations are counted as 2 additional words, there are a total of 203 words in the poem.

In numerology, this reduces to a 5.

[If the delineations don't hold up, then we're back to the drawing board for a new count ~ and new reduction

].

~ Lizzytysh

Kush · Post by **Kush** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 4:25 pm

Sorry for the interruption: but Life of Errands, This Isnt China and It Seemed The Better Way were 3 recent poems that I liked very much. Didnt care much for his other brief s'posedly clever and witty dittys.
Ok now back to this intense exercise.....

Tchocolatl · Post by **Tchocolatl** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 4:25 pm

Lizzytysh,

Thank you for the warm welcome here. And I mean here.

Well, being ridiculous did not stop the Wright brothers and many ideas to fly. Nevertheless, I agree that one can jeopardize himself and gain one (or more) injury in the exercise. I just hope I would not broke to much things in the process, this is not the point.

Have a second cup of coffee à ma santé

and let see what comes next.

lizzytysh · Post by **lizzytysh** » Fri Oct 10, 2003 4:37 pm

"Tchocolatl to the service desk, please. Tchocolatl to the service desk."

Well, Hi[!] Tchocolatl! Could [well, okay, would

] you please PM me, if necessary, to let me know what you added that's in such tiny print that it's impossible for me to read it

?

Thanks

!

~ Lizzytysh