I'm Ok, You're Not

This is for your own works!!!
User avatar
Violet
Posts: 3197
Joined: Thu May 24, 2007 11:07 pm
Location: New York

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by Violet »

... hmm... looks like another lateral move over to that epitaph thread... (did anyone happen to tape what happened exactly?)...

v i o l e t
Violet
Manna
Posts: 1998
Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 6:51 am
Location: Where clouds go to die

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by Manna »

Heal? Did I write that? I'm so embarrassed. I feel like a real heel. Don't worry, this pain will hele before we all get to hel.
User avatar
Byron
Posts: 3171
Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2002 3:01 pm
Location: Mad House, Eating Tablets, Cereals, Jam, Marmalade and HONEY, with Albert

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by Byron »

Beek, did I write that? I shall take me to a house of punishment and therein render my skin flayed in an endless scourge of remorseful admonition until the cows come home. From thence I shall remove myself to the lost fens wherein my ancestors scraped a living out of pot. You may have heard of them....the Beaker Folk.
"Bipolar is a roller-coaster ride without a seat belt. One day you're flying with the fireworks; for the next month you're being scraped off the trolley" I said that.
User avatar
mat james
Posts: 1847
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 8:06 am
Location: Australia

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by mat james »

M-O
Is this one of those '...tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson' poems?.
I have to say that I identify squarely with the object of your derision, except for the last line.
He must be a great bloke!
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
User avatar
Byron
Posts: 3171
Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2002 3:01 pm
Location: Mad House, Eating Tablets, Cereals, Jam, Marmalade and HONEY, with Albert

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by Byron »

Just an update on a previous contribution that has been deleted...

Will the person who asked for the leather thong and Rupert Bear suit, please send me your new address. The clinic have said that they cannot accept any extra voluntary donations without a bone fide ID and letter from your mum. Thank you.
"Bipolar is a roller-coaster ride without a seat belt. One day you're flying with the fireworks; for the next month you're being scraped off the trolley" I said that.
mickey_one
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by mickey_one »

mat james wrote:M-O
Is this one of those '...tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson' poems?.
I have to say that I identify squarely with the object of your derision, except for the last line.
He must be a great bloke!
no, Mat- it's just a playing with words and rhythm thing. the mood found itself.
dar
Posts: 529
Joined: Fri Aug 23, 2002 1:53 am

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by dar »

This is a damn good poem. Of course, better if recited while wearing a tuxedo.
User avatar
mat james
Posts: 1847
Joined: Sat May 27, 2006 8:06 am
Location: Australia

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by mat james »

This is a damn good poem. Of course, better if recited while wearing a tuxedo.
:lol: That would be a 'Performance'.

As you suggest Mickey, it may benefit from a little touching up. But that poem performed as dar suggests would send Humpty Dumpty off his wall. :lol:
"Without light or guide, save that which burned in my heart." San Juan de la Cruz.
mickey_one
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by mickey_one »

dar wrote:This is a damn good poem. Of course, better if recited while wearing a tuxedo.
ah, a Geoffrey reference! I worry about him and hope he is well. if you actually did like the poem, thanks very much.
mickey_one
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by mickey_one »

mat james wrote:
This is a damn good poem. Of course, better if recited while wearing a tuxedo.
:lol: That would be a 'Performance'.

As you suggest Mickey, it may benefit from a little touching up. But that poem performed as dar suggests would send Humpty Dumpty off his wall. :lol:

Humpty Bloody Dumpty, a poem full of violence and politics...
mickey_one
Posts: 1533
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2004 3:11 pm
Location: Hello Lovely Flowers, Hello Lovely Trees

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by mickey_one »

Spare me your gratuitous happiness
contentment hurts my rage
your depressing optimism
compels me to cut off your hands
so clap my action
with the remaining fraction
and let's advance a stage

Shade your fucking sunshine
it's just yellow highlighter on your page
your violent placidity
has seeped its liquidity
and compels me to cut off your legs
so run in my direction
with the remaining section
and let's advance a stage

Bottle your bastard bonhomie
"Cheers!" for no more cheerfulness please
your willingness to compromise
compels me to remove your eyes
but look, it's really no surprise
blindness at your age
let's advance a stage...
and fuck away my rage


a few changes. the ending- a sharp obbo. from a friend who wondered why fucking would not be an advance, so that's changed because she is right. also I was never impressed with "bouncing placidity" etc. so that's changed. And I just got up to go out so I've changed.
User avatar
Byron
Posts: 3171
Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2002 3:01 pm
Location: Mad House, Eating Tablets, Cereals, Jam, Marmalade and HONEY, with Albert

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by Byron »

So many 'stages' and so often mentioned throughout your pome, and never a mention of the greatest 'stage' of all.................


Image
"Bipolar is a roller-coaster ride without a seat belt. One day you're flying with the fireworks; for the next month you're being scraped off the trolley" I said that.
User avatar
Byron
Posts: 3171
Joined: Tue Nov 26, 2002 3:01 pm
Location: Mad House, Eating Tablets, Cereals, Jam, Marmalade and HONEY, with Albert

Re: I'm Ok, You're Not

Post by Byron »

mickey_one wrote:And I just got up to go out so I've changed.
Ar! so you've not 'come out' and you've not changed. Upon your return from going out whilt thou be coming in to get out of what thou went out in? Or shall thee be getting into what thou got out of before thou went out?

There was a time when many of those who went out had no options (very painful) and had to go out in what they had been in prior to needing to go out to get what they could to be able to safely go out in the future. But times have moved on.
"Bipolar is a roller-coaster ride without a seat belt. One day you're flying with the fireworks; for the next month you're being scraped off the trolley" I said that.
Post Reply

Return to “Writing, Music and Art by the Forum members”