leonardcohenforum.com

now in foreclosure
many coal mines being sealed
green energy now

green energy now
replace oil's domination
with other sources

redstudio wrote:green energy now
replace oil's domination
with other sources

and they say this thread is not exciting!

well done for your wonderfully inventive haiku and the last line is awesome!

"with other sources" - when they hand out the prizes for exciting writing you must be the favourite. I wonder what inspired you?

you could have gone for a dull closer like

green energy now
replace oil's domination
fuels the argument

or simply

green energy now
replace oil's domination
abomination

or a political take

green energy now
replace oil's domination
we may yet survive

or the double meaning

green energy now
replace oil's domination
a change of climate


but you ignored all those predictable easy lines and somewhere from within your wild imagination you blessed us by composing

"with other sources"

fantastic!

LONG LIVE THE INFINITE HAIKU (BY DEFINITION)

redstudio wrote:green energy now
replace oil's domination
with other sources

with other sources
and mother's horse-radish sauce
is, of course, endorsed

You are correct. It is especially uninspired. I was merely moving on. But look, Goeffrey has done something amusing with it. All is not lost.

redstudio wrote:You are correct. It is especially uninspired. I was merely moving on. But look, Goeffrey has done something amusing with it. All is not lost.

there is no reason to "merely move on".

Geoffrey's attempt was not bad although it was rather predictable. his last line is decent but his mistake was to use the word "sauce" in the second line.

with other sources
and mother's horse-radish sauce
is, of course, endorsed

if you need to express the pun in this context it means you lack confidence in it.

I had in mind

with other sources
ok lets ketchup together
and cut the mustard

true, some countries may not have OK sauce, and others may use the word "catsup". the expression to "cut the mustard" may not even be familiar but I chose it for posters here who rush their writing just to move the thread on. It means "to achieve the required standard". The only way this thread has any value is if people make the effort to write inventively and "cut the mustard".

Geoffrey wrote:

redstudio wrote:green energy now
replace oil's domination
with other sources

with other sources
and mother's horse-radish sauce
is, of course, endorsed

is of course endorsed
redstudio's poetic
licence. next time Jail.


ok redstudio- that one, obviously, is for you. I don't know if you use the same expression of endorsing a licence for driving offences? anyway, consider yourself warned!

licence, next time jail
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
there are much worse crimes

There are much worse crimes
Tinderella once called me
"A horse with no name"

Monday wrote:There are much worse crimes
Tinderella once called me
"A horse with no name"

a horse with no name
the nearest thing to Silver?
the Lone Ranger's bum

the Lone Ranger's bum
cousin rides horse, on the lam
yells "Hi-yo, Copper!"

yells "Hi-yo, Copper!"
from her cot in the jail cell
let me out'a here!

let me out'a here!
said Bob Dylan to the thief
I'm done stealing songs

I'm done stealing songs
no more Pirate Bay for me
conscientiousness

tinderella wrote:I'm done stealing songs
no more Pirate Bay for me
conscientiousness

conscientiousness
demands syllable re-count
tind's disqualified