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Diane wrote:Pete, I am hopeless at filling in forms, so I have taken to completing them with lines from songs. I suggest you write on your passport application Elton John's - "I was made in England, like a blue cortina." I do like that line, and that will surely suffice.

Happy to have been of assistance.

In my case it's
'I was made in England, like the last Ford Escort off the production line on a Friday afternoon'


Ken...can I wear my clothes for the passport photo?

Pete wrote:I have the application form

I remember the first application form I filled in . It was quite daunting and I wrote a few words of complaint :

Passport Application

I’m completing this form
That allows me to roam
To places where I’ve never travelled
But the conundrum this poses
Is no bed of roses
As my private life is unravelled

Take the question of whether
I’m getting it together
Which I think item three is implying
So I write a footnote
That I don’t like to gloat
But it’s not for the want of trying

Oh I misunderstood
As only I could
They just need to know girl or boy
But that is depressing
For when I’m cross dressing
Equally both I enjoy

So I take no chances
And tick both the answers
I don’t care if they think I’m insane
And with average luck
When I come to book
I will get two seats on the plane

Next they are foraging
For my ethnic origin
Am I black white yellow or red
But all I can say
Is I am deep brown today
Too long spent on my sun bed

And what about faith
Is my sacred soul safe
Do I pray to some kind of god
A tough call to make
For sometimes I fake
A prayer when I’ve been a bad sod

And please let me mention
Their obvious intention
To expose every aspect of life
Are my tendencies gay do I like it that way
Hell no I just sleep with my wife

So I sit here frustrated
Exhausted deflated
I feel like some kind of fool
The forms in the bin
I could not fill it in
So I’m off for a week to Blackpool

phil....excellent stuff..that's quite a disturbing story...on this evidence your commemorative window along with the other great poets in the church of his holy bobness is safe....

I thoroughly enjoyed that, thank you Phil.

So, do I read it correct that Phil will help me with my application form?

Pete wrote:So, do I read it correct that Phil will help me with my application form?

Unfortunately Pete as you see I can only be of assistance to sex starved atheist cross dressers from an ethnic minority with a bisexual tendancy who like to holiday in Blackpool so if you are in that category I will be glad to help !!

Yorkshire Lad wrote:

Pete wrote:So, do I read it correct that Phil will help me with my application form?

Unfortunately Pete as you see I can only be of assistance to sex starved atheist cross dressers from an ethnic minority with a bisexual tendancy who like to holiday in Blackpool so if you are in that category I will be glad to help !!

Damn! I holiday in Norfolk.

Pete wrote:Damn! I holiday in Norfolk.

And there was me thinking you needed a passport to visit Norfolk because my dad told me it was a..broad ! But hey five out of six is close enough just send me a passport sized photogragh of you in your Saturday night gear and I am sure we can come to some arrangement .

Pete's reply to his wife, when he leaves for his first flight

Well, Sweet lamb of divine................... How did a sweet Irish lass like me get involved with you strange English and German folk?

These pictures make perfect sense to me now

Tinders, I thought we'd agreed not to post those particular pictures from Barmouth.

Lately it struck me that Wordsworth had no idea he was predicting our Barmouth weekend when he wrote The Prelude in 1850:

IN one of those excursions (may they ne'er
Fade from remembrance!) through the Northern tracts
Of Cambria ranging with a youthful friend,
I left Bethgelert's huts at couching-time,
And westward took my way, to see the sun
Rise*, from the top of Snowdon. To the door
Of a rude cottage at the mountain's base
We came, and roused the shepherd who attends
The adventurous stranger's steps, a trusty guide;
Then, cheered by short refreshment, sallied forth.

http://www.lcc.gatech.edu/~broglio/1102/snowdon.html

*OK we didn't see the sunrise from the top of Snowdon, but there was a stage when I feared we might...

Nos da.

tinderella wrote:Pete's reply to his wife, when he leaves for his first flight

Tinderella!! When I first read the captions I read 'not a pasty'.
Actually I like pasties..especially authentic, original Cornish ones.
But I'm not a pasty anyway.
Quite a good likeness of me btw.

Diane wrote:

To the door
Of a rude cottage at the mountain's base

That sounds like the Sandpiper to me !
YL

Mrs Sandpiper will never live down being mean to you about your egg, Phil. I believe all the landlords and ladies along the prom in Barmouth read this forum.

It was nice though, when we stopped at that cafe half way up the mountain, and, cheered by short refreshment, sallied forth.

Diane wrote:Mrs Sandpiper will never live down being mean to you about your egg, Phil. I believe all the landlords and ladies along the prom in Barmouth read this forum.

I suspect the freedom of Barmouth is off my "to do" list then . No worries !