Lessons from my son

[lazariuk]

My son has been trying to teach me how to write a ballad. This is what we managed to put together.

The ballad of a little girl

Call some angels to help
Call some angels to care
For the sad lonely girl
Whose fathers' not there

The dreams that she had
that soon took a hike
while she sang in the choir
while she learned to bike

She heard her father sing
I'm at the end of my rope
heard her mother praying
about losing all hope

The yelling and fighting
now had come to an end
But the silence was empty
It was no longer a friend

He had gone so quickly
rode a plane into the sky
he blew her a kiss
she waved goodbye

she had friends and toys
had her school and play
a mother for the night
a life for her day

But her heart was saddened
it's joy left on the plane
no postman with postcards
no comfort in the rain

The years passed by
she grew in many ways
but her hopes stayed so little
but they lasted the days

On the eleventh day of christmas
Late into her eleventh year
The call finally came
And it spoke to her ear

"it's a lonely dad that calls you
from a far off distant land
where snow falls in july
and people are here to tan"

"I miss my little girl
I miss the wonder in her eyes
Is she still seeing the cloud angels
floating across her skies?"

Something was in her throat
That couldn't let her speak
A tear was in her eyes
her legs were getting weak

He waited and waited
to hear one little sound
but all he heard was silence
his worse fear came around

well then goodbye my darling
he said like a final amen
then heaven shone it's glory
she whispered "Dad call again"

Call some angels to help
Call some angels to care
For a father and daughter
And the love that's still there

[Manna]

Are there rules for ballad writing? I thought it was just a song that told a story. Have you a tune in mind?

[lazariuk]

Are there rules for ballad writing? I thought it was just a song that told a story. Have you a tune in mind?

I don't know. He had a bunch of rules that his teacher gave him.
Had to:

Begin with addressing someone to do something
have a developing story
reference the supernatural
have rhyme
describe a location
have some dialogue
reference a strong emotion
end with a resolution of the plot
come to a resolve
had to be long

[lizzytysh]

You and your son have met all the listed criteria for a ballad [odd those two words being so close together, wouldn't have thought it would require so many specifics to qualify... but I sure do appreciate knowing them].

Now, to the ballad, itself.

This is such a true-to-life possibility and is the most moving part of the song for me, likely not a coincidence:

He waited and waited
to hear one little sound
but all he heard was silence
his worse fear came around

well then goodbye my darling
he said like a final amen
then heaven shone it's glory
she whispered "Dad call again"

I can hear that small voice, so overcome with emotion; and wanting to hear his, again, but just not sure what to say.

Call some angels to help
Call some angels to care
For a father and daughter
And the love that's still there

A lovely, reaffirming, resolving refrain.

I enjoyed this a lot, Jack.


~ Lizzy

[lazariuk]

Oh yeah. It also had to end with a repeating of the theme that it began with.
Having all those rules kind of made it write itself.
I'm happy that you enjoyed it.