A Poem (obviously!!)

This is for your own works!!!
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raugust7
Posts: 15
Joined: Sat Dec 23, 2006 3:00 pm

A Poem (obviously!!)

Post by raugust7 »

Do you remember the gardens?
All alive and unkempt with the dew
Like the scrapbooks of innocent harlots
Who were lost in the sapphire view.
Do you remember the gardens?
It was there that I waited for you

Do you remember the curtains,
Drawn up like drapes round your eyes?
They swam in the breeze of your blessing,
They were shorn in the gale of your lies.
Do you remember the curtains,
That were set alive by your cries?

Do you remember the idols?
That you worshipped and longed to adore
Born of ivory and clutching a sceptre
Made of suggestions you claimed to abhor
Do you remember your idols
Was it this I was sacrificed for?

Do not forget the gardens
That were brought to their knees in the rain.
Do not neglect the curtains
They have not earned your disdain.
Do not regret your idols
That your belief could no longer contain.
Do not forget me, your comrade
For I will not come again.


This is my first time on the forum, so please be gentle!!!
i have much appreciated some of the work on here, before i decided to join so any feedback would be gratefully recieved and much appreciated
ta very much
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lizzytysh
Posts: 25531
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2002 8:57 pm
Location: Florida, U.S.A.

Post by lizzytysh »

Ta to you, too, raugust7, and I like the feel and flow of your poem, your choice of words, and the images you create... mysterious and more than a bit Leonardesque.

Welcome to the Forum :D .


~ Lizzy
JiminyC
Posts: 264
Joined: Mon Nov 13, 2006 9:38 am
Location: Solid Rock

Hello unt velcome

Post by JiminyC »

The dutch don't have curtains. I like this a lot raugust, nice meter, timbre, it is friendly, has socialist leanings, and has a slap. I like it. Look forward to reading more.
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