i put them into the form of a simple rhyme in May 2011 (please see below). i know it is not an uplifting subject. Specially for that reason...thank you for listening.
It was 3 years ago today (on 3rd Nov. 2008) that my aunt (69) was brought with force into a German psychiatry next to Hadamar http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hadamar_Clinic
Up to that day my aunt was leading her life independently by herself, in spite of showing some signs of senility, possibly resulting from strokes (which got never medically checked). Only 2 weeks before the internment i had visited my aunt in her home: she had baked 2 cakes in the morning, and had self-made cantucci biscuits. She cooked lunch with salad as side dish and we had tea and cake in the afternoon. On that day, with a friend of mine the three of us went together for a long walk in the city. In those days my aunt prepared her own herbal cream (from picked ribwort plants), she prepared her own self-made jams (different sorts, blueberry, quince, elder, blackberry, plum), she even had some self-made Schnaps liquor. Two months before the internment, the drove several 100 kilometres by car alone (without a navigation system) to stay in a guesthouse for a week to pick blueberries and go for walks. Her home was so tidy that you could have eaten from the floor. She regularly telephoned with my mom (her sister).
Deported into psychiatry on 3rd Nov. 2008, all of a sudden my aunt was forced to stay behind locked front doors. Since that day, she was no more allowed to return or visit her home ever again! The doctors and the responsible “independent” “expert” deliberately lied about the diagnosis, in order to fill her up with Haloperidol, Zyprexa and strong sedatives from day 1...absolutely contraindicated for my aunt, for all to see – under the strong drugs the fatal side-effects couldn’t have been more obvious: her walk became erratic with continuous strange arm movements (she walked absolutely normally before the drugs – but now the doctors had a reason for keeping her in, the movements now served as argument), she was restless and sedated at the same time, she could hardly speak...she clearly suffered. For nearly 4 months she stayed imprisoned in this building – when i came in company i wasn’t allowed to take her for a walk (“she could break herself a leg”). In fact, my aunt was no more allowed to go for a walk ever again (before the psychiatry deportation she was a member in the local rambling and gymnastics club). For nearly 4 months my aunt kept her bags packed, wanting to go home. She sometimes put them in front of the entry door from the inside, standing next to the door, wishing to go back home.
On 11th Feb. 2009 they deported her from the psychiatric clinic into a different closed ward with walls around the building. For 2 years my aunt kept her bags packed inside the wardrobe, wanting to go back home. The contraindicated drugs destroyed her remaining health... the imprisonment destroyed hear heart and soul. My aunt’s suffering ended exactly 2 years after the day of her last deportation, she died with 71 years of age on 11th Feb. 2011.
They have broken my aunt’s heart, and they have broken mine and my mom’s, too...
Cynically, the main arguments for her internment in the medical opinion were:
1. “self-harm because of food neglect”
2. “run away tendency” – just that she had never run away in her whole life. Only being interned in the closed wards she understandably wanted to return home...
...which the doctors used as an argument for further internment.
3. “lack of compliance /collaboration” – “the patient would not collaborate so he must not be let out of the closed ward”
My aunt had refused to take the psychiatric drugs (as stated in the files) so she was tied to the bed and they injected them.
Later they twisted the argument for the contraindicated drugs, they said my aunt would have asked for them...
During those 2.5 years of internment my mother and i had written many letters to the court – ignored – and made 100s of phone calls. People were disinterested...they told me i was fighting against wind-mills, as the ward internment is confirmed by a judge and doctor hence unchangeable. The judge of the first issued judicial order did not even remember my aunt’s name...I remember i had also telephoned with a former judge of the guardianship court, who was then working as a politician and member of the Bundestag (german parliament). He told me: “Once a judicial stamp is made in those cases, the judicial decision will never be altered. They are playing for time - until the problem solves itself”.
...it took 2.5 years for the problem to solve itself...
I had mentioned my concern previously in my Stuttgart concert report from 1st. Oct. 2010, viewtopic.php?f=44&t=23120&start=15
thank you for listening...nicole
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ still ... the politics of indifference ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
i’m just a little Frankfurt girl
living in a country of tradition and rule.
time confirms that things are done orderly
especially for some, life here is cool.
the surfaces are always shiny
cause everybody loves to clean.
life is well adapted and regimented
the merit lies in the gene.
life here is fixed on paper
of my experiences i’d like to report.
with politics and with paper
my aunt’s heart they did thwart:
in jan 1945 my aunt did flee
a child, running for her life.
she thought she was safe when she settled in Germany
but here in feb 2011 they took her life.
she thought she could trust her brother
and her brother in law.
her mistake was that she owned money
so she was squashed under their claw.
with plan and force they abducted
my aunt from her own cherished house.
people hide their helmets and truncheons
under their pants and their open blouse.
from one minute to the next
she was no more allowed back home.
they fabricated absurd false reasons
that she could no more freely roam.
twisting the law they locked her up
so that she would no more see the sky.
how can they all join in the propaganda?
i am still left wondering why.
she was locked up next door to Hadamar
i thought those times had passed.
but little did i know
tradition and habits they do last.
they need to find their scapegoats
interests involved, the deal was done.
a medical opinion, they imagined some arguments
instantly, her human rights were gone.
i was shocked, i came to see her
they ordered, we both couldn’t go for a walk.
instead, she was kept imprisoned
“the treatment” rammed her on a hawk.
twisting medicine they filled her up
with harmful drugs to stop her talk.
they left her only a few square metres
not enough for her to walk.
the pills, Lilly’s Zyprexa and Haldol
my aunt refused to take.
so they were forced upon her, against her will
to achieve faster that her life was at stake.
the doctors ignored the black box warnings
of course, it’s all part of the game.
“increased mortality” awaits the elderly
“sudden death” a side-effect, what a bloody shame.
every dog in this country has more freedom and care
but there is profit, she was helpless and old.
instead of help she got administered
the human rights they did withhold.
her only wish was to go back home
she had never committed a single crime.
but the court had all the power
and those who judged did not just kill time.
with hands that twist the law
those who judged joined in to kill.
dressed in their costumes and masks
by joining in, they got their thrill.
over her life and time they ruled
with passion for paper, black on white.
administration is all that counts
freedom and justice was never in sight.
with official arbitrariness they enjoyed to rule
over a human being, just helpless and old.
do they ever stop playing God?
conscience-proof, they revel in power and cold.
never dare to disobey the authorities
cause they determine who is healthy and who is sick.
they play their mind games with those who are different
by ruling, they get their kick.
with their stamps they administer everything
they rationalize and play ‘live and let die’.
do they still confuse a person with a number?
they still transport people into the sky.
my aunt sadly sat on her single chair
forlorn, the windows she did close.
the blinds were pulled down, the little room stayed dark
for all to see, she showed her heart froze.
thin she was all her life, zyprexa almost doubled her weight
the trousers they gave her, she could no more close.
a way to disgrace, also used in former times
i took photos to disclose.
like an abandoned animal in a cage
anxiously, she revealed a big bruise on her arm.
the pills worked, she was panting and trembling
too many signs of alarm.
i have an audio recording
the care person begged: “please set her free.
when she came here she was normal
now she is broken. all staff could see”.
but not one of them said a word
they never risk to lose their job.
i can feel the puke coming up
together they form a strong mob.
my mother tried to help her sister
but by court, she was not allowed.
instead, they revelled in power
of their hatred and greed, they must be proud.
“if she could truly see herself” they stated
she would lock herself up, too”.
those who judged, they deserve the same treatment
put away and filled up, it’s overdue.
her only will “please, take me home” they ignored
they ridiculed her and insisted even more
my mom and i were now forbidden to see her
the final solution came closer on the other shore.
the toxic drugs did finally take its toll
imprisoned, her will to live since long was broken.
achieved is the bureaucratic goal
life reduced to a paper token.
paper is pierced in files and collected
like head trophies on a stick.
‘might makes right’ is the law they saluted
the segregation of the sound and the sick.
the people have murdered my aunt
with their heads and hands so cold.
do they ever feel compassion?
i witnessed. they only controlled.
i would like to believe, they acted out of ignorance
but i have proofs, those involved did lie.
they lusted after profit and power
my sadness does not go by.
their authority knows no boundaries
degrading others, they flourish and thrive.
the rights on paper are not for everyone
but they make sure that they survive.
they salute their own conclusions
reverence for life is reserved for some.
existing ballast is thrown overboard
‘survival of the fittest’ - a western slum.
in the end, no-one is responsible
and everyone is looking away.
they only fulfil their social roles
they cannot make mistakes or go astray.
2.5 years of court struggle
i don’t know what it was for.
i have no words for what happened
nothing is, as it was before.
i’m living in a paper country
where law and values are made of cold sand.
how could i have hoped for kindness
it begins with the children they cannot stand.
my aunt was only 71 when she died
she could have still lived for years.
her looks, her words, i remember her well
i’m left repressing my tears.
i had tried to free my aunt
i had tried to help her, the best i could.
but they don’t allow help in a system
where they kill people ‘for their own good’.
Nicole, May 2011
- the bruise my aunt showed to me, lifting her jumper.
- Zyprexa side-effects. Before the "medical treatment" with Zyprexa...those trousers did fit. My aunt was only left with those unfitting ones...
- The 2nd closed ward. The whole walking area is paved.
