I love the poem as is.....I also like the crisp, concise image of toast....with the double entendre of making one. My request is to leave Marianne, of course. It not only makes it real, but also plays into the fact that he left her, with ambivalence and sense of regret later. The "he wrote her poetry" and "wrote poetry to her"...well, perhaps more precise with the former, but more "day-to-day real" with the latter....and on a literal level, she probably wrote her own poetry!
Have you decided whether or not you're going to send it to Leonard? I think it's a "take"!
Love,
Lizzy