Occult of Personality

[jabble524]

Occult of Personality

I take the path of excess
To the palace of wisdom
Redemption is worthless
Beauty and fulfillment of the senses are priceless

I explore every vice
And indulge in deadly sins
To awaken my senses
And escape the soul’s prison

Subconscious desires rise to the surface
Instinct replaces what I’ve been taught
Morality is relative
Ambition is blind

Chaos is strangely intriguing
Like the chance to sleep with an ex lover
One more time

I left you long ago
Because your kisses lost their flavor

Now I hear the serpent laughing
As I frantically stab my hideous portrait
My past sins punish me with age

Once I’m wretched and withered
The serpent smiles
And then slithers away

[mat james]

Dorian Gray ?

[jabble524]

Yes. The poem was inspired by Dorian Gray, the Garden of Eden, and William Blake.

- Jason

[Teratogen]

Y'know, I was going to say the first time I read this that Dorian Gray would be proud. Those would have been my exact words, too. But I just decided not to respond for whatever reason.

But speaking of the Garden of Eden, I am still quite surprised how much your poems mirror mine. See "Goodbye Kiss (To Paradise)." I take a more pragmatic approach to it though. I leave out the sin and Satan stuff and focus more on the human qualities of its inhabitants and the emotions involved in their decisions in life.

[mat james]

Y'know, I was going to say the first time I read this that Dorian Gray would be proud.

Terrortoga

Well then, you are not as thick as you pretend to be, Terror.

Mephistomat

[Teratogen]

I pretend to be thick?

[jabble524]

I have tried to focus on the qualities of it's human inhabitants in the past, but it's really hard for me to write in that style. I find that Satan and Sin really work well for poetic imagery. But I admire you for being able to explore it from that perspective. I always liked the story of Dorian Gray because I think it would be interesting to be able to see one's soul, the way Dorian saw his picture. Hope all is well.

[Teratogen]

All is not well.

I think sin and Satan are very poetic too, and worthy of being written about. But I wanted to leave out more mystical things and play with causality a bit. Why did Eve eat of the tree? Was it really temptation from Satan or was it something she saw in herself? Why did Adam eat of the tree? Was it a flaw in his character; was it doubt? Or maybe he loved Eve so much that he could not let her be the only one to be cast out of Paradise.

[jabble524]

Interesting points. I hadn't thought about it that way.

[Teratogen]

After all, we are talking about the first man and woman, the first couple, the first lovers, the first human beings to feel and think on their own. Remember, God created Adam and Eve so that they could worship him upon their own free will, unlike the angels who were made in their nature to worship God. Kind of an ego trip if you ask me. Satan is really more of a hero in the romantic sense, but Adam and Eve ultimately made their own decisions. They had to have reason to exist, reason to live, reason to do the things they did.

[jabble524]

Good points.

[imaginary friend]

Jabble wrote:

I left you long ago
Because your kisses lost their flavor

Now I hear the serpent laughing
As I frantically stab my hideous portrait
My past sins punish me with age

Once I’m wretched and withered
The serpent smiles
And then slithers away

Hey Jason,
Just a thought – your last 3 stanzas read a little bumpy. I wonder if rearranging might improve...

I left you long ago
Because your kisses lost their flavor
Now I hear the serpent laughing
As I frantically stab my hideous portrait

My past sins punish me with age
Once I’m wretched and withered
The serpent smiles
And then slithers away

Stanzas then become 4 lines each, except for this one (which I like as is, it's a separate thought that kinda made me sit up and pay attention):

Chaos is strangely intriguing
Like the chance to sleep with an ex lover
One more time

Take care, Cougar-bait!

[jabble524]

Thanks for the advice. And as always, the cougar bait.